Don't waste you touch or were you sent to save me? I've thought too much you wont find anything worthy of redeeming to break down and crease all feeling burn now what once was beathing reach out and you may take my heart away inperfect cry and scream in extacy but what befalls the flawless? look what i've built it shines so beautifully now watch as it consumes me to break down and crease all feeling burn now what once was breathing reach out and you may take my heart away i left it all behind and never said good-bye i'm about to die i saw it's birth i watched it grow i felt it change me i took the life i ate it slow now it consumes me nothing, from nowhere im no one at all radiate reconize on silent call as we all form one dark flame love your hate, your faith lost you are now one of us one of the cold dark souls i am.
~~ashley~~
2006-12-29 15:54:35 · 5 answers · asked by Chi 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I don't think so..makes no sense..spelling is awful and it don't read like a poem. sorry
2006-12-29 15:58:05 · answer #1 · answered by Georgia Girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nice imagery, Ashley. It reminds me of stream of consciousness style poetry, which was very popular with the Beatnik movement. You might also be able to draw further inspiration from prose, which doesn't follow strict poetry rules. Enjoyed it!
2006-12-30 00:25:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting free verse, but I'd format it more to keep it from looking confusing. If you know someone with musical talent, try turning it into a song. I'll bet it'll be good.
2006-12-30 00:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by adanarama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did u write that? OMG its brilliant............although i must say u shouldn't post poems this good on the net they can get stolen and some celebrity may end up 5 more million dollars rich becuz of you. I say gather all of ur work and publish it! but u do need a little grammar check but i dun really get the tone or rhythm =[
2006-12-29 23:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by no_nickname 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you kidding me? Dude, Work on your grammer as well as your spelling.
2006-12-30 00:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by ELO 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋