Ok so I have a very regligous southern baptist black family thats against homosexuality and against iner racial relationships i want to tell my parents im gay and have a boyfriend I know they will freak out and what makes it worse is that my boyfriend is "WHITE" so I know they will really freak what should I do i think I should just move where should I move what should I do do you think I should come out help.
2006-12-29 15:47:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Does any one a yahoo messenger sighn on and leave your screen name so we can talk to the gay and bi boys thanx.
2006-12-29 15:47:48 · update #1
I sincerely wish you the best of luck. You are going to really, really need it.
I wouldn't expect your family to be very thrilled initially. Explain that it's not "their fault" that you're gay nor have some malignant evil forces possesed your soul (even if they don't believe it). While it's always nice to reassure your parents that you know all about safe sex, I wouldn't discuss it at the time merely b/c it's just going to make them imagine horrible things that aren't going to happen.
As for the race part, explain that you love somebody b/c of who they are underneath and what they do, not by race or racial stereotypes. I think your family will probably sort of overlook the race part for the time being for the more looming concern with you sexuality (I realize that that's probably not much of a comfort).
If you are, or can be, financially independent, be prepared to move out, at least for a few months to weather the storm. Ideally, you already are financially solvent and the only blow from any negative family reaction will be emotional.
Again, best of luck.
"Be strong. Believe..."
2006-12-29 16:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by Target Acquired 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud your decision to live your life openly and honestly. I also know firsthand how hard it can be to tell your family that you're gay. So as you take that next big step, here are some things to keep in mind.
Before you share with your family and friends, you may want to test the waters a bit. Steer the conversation toward topics of tolerance and equality for same-sex couples. Find out how your parents feels about these kinds of issues.
It's probably taken you a while to come to terms with your sexuality, so just remember that it may take others some time to accept that also. Be prepared to be patient. It's perfectly normal for even the most accepting parents to be a little shocked by such a big revelation. Be prepared for some tough questions -- "How do you know this isn't just a phase?" "What makes you think that you're gay?"
To prepare, it may be helpful to visit website like the the American Psychological Association (http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html ) or the Human Rights Campaign (http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out ) It may also be helpful to direct your parents to supportive groups like Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG, http://www.pflag.org/ )
If you haven't done so already, you may want to tell a close friend that you're gay -- someone who you know will support you. As your parents come to terms with your sexuality, it will be helpful to have a friendly ally.
Your mom and dad love you unconditionally. So even if it may take some time and some awkward conversations, chances are excellent that your they'll accept you for who you are.
2007-01-02 14:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Rob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people wait until they aren't living with their parents anymore, and aren't dependant on them financially anymore. If you think you can wait, it's kind of a good plan. If not, I'd say prepare for the worst (have a backup plan), but remember that sometimes people surprise you. No matter which view people hold, for or against, many from both camps tend to have different ideas when it's their own family. Good luck.
2006-12-30 17:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have a boyfriend, your family will know you are serious about this. If you are gay and know this is a lifestyle choice you are making, then you have to come out to your family eventually. You can move and never tell them and yada yada, but you would only see them rarely. I think if you tell them they may be upset because of personal moral issues, but if they still accept you, then you can still enjoy your family openly. I think you would have to know how they react to know how to come out. I think it would be best to maybe come out without having your boyfriend around. Possibly offer to let your parents meet him? Its all unique in situations. My really good friend is gay but fortunately his parents were accepting of it (and kind of knew because he is a little flamboyant). Best of luck. I hope you are open about the life you chose to live with your family
2006-12-29 17:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by bippidibopiddi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hide from telling the truth. You never know their opinions might soften. Or are you going to live a lie before them, always?
If you just up and leave you'll never know what could 've happened.
If the worst does happen and they disown you - you can still up and leave.
Best wishes
2006-12-30 02:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-01 08:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck, you should tell them. I know it will be hard but now that your have a BF they willl find out sooner or later and might as well be sooner.
2006-12-29 16:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by DRAKE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That takes a lot of courage (I can only imagine).
You can only hope that they will reacte in a loving and positive way. Also, give them time if their initial reaction is negative (here's hoping it isn't!)
Good luck!
2006-12-29 15:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by Gene M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself. Don't worry about what they think. You should come out. You'll only be hurting yourself if you don't. Good luck!
2006-12-29 15:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope all goes well...
2006-12-29 15:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by 22sa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋