I married & 3 mths later he became partily disable, he was away for 18 mths & came home. In that time I supported his chrildren (even grown ones that were able to work) 5 years later I still support him & his youngest son from another marriage. My problem is not the financial aspect, its that this family has strange values, but my morals won't let me leave a disabled man. He treats my grown daughter badly (at least until I put my foot down) but he still ignores her. My child is religous and hard working & never gave me any trouble growing up. My husbands grown children are consdescending & I haven't meet anyone that I know who likes them. They tell me I am strange, I have never been told this by anyone, my attorney, business partner, pastor & husbands doctor tell me that I am not the one with the problem. I went to couseling and was told I wasn't the one with the problem. If I divorce they'll try to take 1/2 & ailmony. I'm torn between financial ruin & morals.
2006-12-29 15:32:43 · 9 answers · asked by Meeee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like the whole relationship is "strange". From what I am getting here you dont feel sorry for him, but you feel you have a moral obligation to not leave a disabled person. I am not sure it is morally right for you to sacrifice your life for someone who does not appreciate what you have done and continue to do for him. It would be hard, but I dont think you should stay in the circumstances that sound unhappy and dysfunctional for all involved. It doesnt sound like it is "working" for anyone involved. Cut your losses and try to find some happiness for yourself. It may not be easy, but sometimes the right thing is not the easy way.Good Luck...
2006-12-29 16:16:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you owe yourself and your child a happy life, those are the two people you have to take care of. you do not owe this man a life of being treated badly and being unhappy just because he got disabled. you must have a lot of guilt feeling like you are wrong to leave someone disabled, but it sounds like you have gone above and beyond what other people would have done. i'm sure you're not the one who disabled him, right? there is no moral that you have to be a slave to a mean person just because they are disabled. obviously he is using that as an excuse to control you, take your money and be mean to you and your daughter. i would get a lawyer, i'm sure they would be able to work it out so you would not have to give away all your money. you only go around once you know!
2006-12-29 15:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by bellatrix27 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt you'll be put into financial ruin, as I'm not so sure you would have to pay alimony. IF he is only paritaly disabled that means he might be able to get some type of job. Secondly if YOU supported his children even though they were able to work and can proove that he MIGHT have to pay you back or THEY might. As for your supporting them unless I had adopted the children or they were living in my home I wouldn't support their butts, especially not when they're grown. Frankly I wouldn't have stayed in that situation to begin with. I'm not the Martyr type. I beleive in morals but I also beleive in common sense and self respect. I would never allow a man and his family bring me down.
2006-12-29 15:48:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are not the only one who has issues with his disability, so dont feel guilty. He is not happy either because of the disability or always was unhappy even before. His lashing out and mean disposition along with disrespect from his children are his problem-your problem is putting up with this behavior. If he is not grateful for you and how you take care of him, then you need to treat yourself with the same consideration and leave him, you'll be better off.
2006-12-29 15:52:14 · answer #4 · answered by adrixia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound unhappy. Consult with your attorney and get a couple other trustworthy legal advisors opinions on how to best protect your assets. Neither you nor your daughter need any of this. Live, love, laugh. You deserve it. You could be dead tomorrow. Is this all that you wanted out of life? Go get it.
2006-12-29 15:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your own fresh and blood came first.
I believe you have done enough for your husband so does his son.
You can't leave your husband I understand and respect that, but you should cut the son who is old enought off.
2006-12-29 15:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by Sheep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I would be with a man who is cruel to my children.. disabled or not. good luck hun ;)
2006-12-29 15:37:12 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Neville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you should be on Jerry.
2006-12-29 15:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
follow your heart on this matter. my opion?
2006-12-29 15:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋