Please only Christian answs: My husband adamently wants a divorce & we have been separated for 3 months now. I have a 6mnth baby that i have been taking care of and providing 4 on my own. I do not believe in divorce, but without any legal action, i cant make him start helping me out financially (there's no such thing as a legal separation in my state). Also, i do believe that with God anything is possible and i dont want to be the one to end our marriage, but the longer i wait, the more i'm getting screwed over by him, unless i file for divorce thre is nothing that states the debt he's reponsible for and/or child support. I'm lost. I only want the best for my daughter, and i dont want to be living at my parents home the rest of my life because i cant afford both child care and a home. And yet, how bout if he just need a more time to change. And yes, i have asked him about marriage counseling in the past to which he says it will do us no good and refuses.
2006-12-29 15:19:23 · 23 answers · asked by Hmm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get the key to the house and move back in.
If he wants a divorce, let him file.
Save yourself the expense and heartache of doing it yourself.
He is head of the household, let him stand before God and tell him why he filed for a divorce!
2006-12-29 15:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by Here I Am 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry honey, but its over for you and the husband. You need to do what is right for you and the child.
Sure, he's possibly trying to paint you as the "Bad Guy" if you file for divorce. Unfortunately thats one of the ugly truths that people like to use on others in a sour relationship. I know how emotional it can be for a female in this situation. You MUST look beyond the emotions and do what is right while you can. What if he skips town? Then collecting child support becomes even a harder complex issue. You obviously need the finances NOW. Hes not going to change. Its over. He's screwing you because YOU ARE NOT FOCUSED. Its a weapon that people use when divorcing while the other person is caught up in the fog of emotions.
Divorce is a LIVING HELL, I know. Death is an ending to something. Divorce is dealing with real living people that once proclaimed to LOVE each other. Going through a divorce rips this all out of your heart and soul. Its terrible. I sympathsize with your feelings and thoughts. But you must do what is right. Your baby depends on you to so. Now is the time, not later. Your folks are clueless to understanding this stuff. Relatives and friends choose sides. You need to take ACTION not sides. Not believeing in divorce is going to change or better your situation. You are not commiting the unforgiveable sin. You will not go to hell. God loves you more than that. Being unequally yoked in the 1st place is possibly what brought this all about anyway. Is your husband a Christian Believer in God? If not there's your answer to your problem. A believer and non-believer will never get along.
Again, DO what is right for you and the baby. Its time. I'm sorry.
2006-12-29 16:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by HowFuzzyWuzee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is already over. All that remains to be done is to make it official. He refuses to provide for you or your family, and is unwilling to try to patch things up. Do you really think raising a child with a dad who is never there and who doesn't even care enough about her to support her financially is going to be the best thing for her? God understands this- no loving God would require you to live out the remainder of your years in an unhappy marriage or to raise your child in an unhealthy home. Move on with your life- maybe you will find a man who truely cares about you and who can be a real father for your daughter. Don't worry about being "the one to end the marriage"- your husband has already done that. You are under no obligation to him- but you must take legal action if you want him to (financially, at least) give child support. He won't change, and it's useless to stick around waiting for him to. Do what's best for you and your daughter, get rid of the jerk- and then live your life to the fullest, the way God wants you to. Best wishes.
2006-12-29 15:31:00 · answer #3 · answered by BabyBear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all Child support is NOT a part of divorce or separation. It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to ensure that their child is financially supported and you do NOT have to have a legal seperation or divorce in order to file for child support from him. If he is NOT supporting your child you need to talk with a lawyer, he owes you back child support. The only reason ANY state will allow a father to NOT support his child whether married or divorced is if HE signs away all parental rights. Some states do allow the father to end child support at that time. Whether YOU want a divorce or not isn't going to make him not get one. He can get a judgement of divorce whether or not you sign the papers. If you don't sign the papers you stand a good chance of loosing your half of all marital assets. As for living with your parents. ALL states have social services. Contact them to find low cost child care in your area. Then start looking to see if you can find a job with better pay.
2006-12-29 16:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and let him know that you're serious. You need some support or you're going to go through the legal system. If he is salaried he's not going to want to go through the divorce route. If he's no good he might not care about going to jail. Its really hard because we don't know your situation. If you did something to cause this divorce or separation that might be his way of getting back at you which is childish but real. 2 years is a long time. Don't just throw it away like that. If yall were in love and conceived a child that bond is going to be there for 18+ years at the least. Make him realize that your daughter is half of him.
2006-12-29 15:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by TILAC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he seeing someone else? If he has had other relations, then you have biblical grounds for divorce. You can't make him come back, and based on the bible, adultery is a valid reason for divorce. No one enters into a marriage anticipating divorce (I hope) but sometimes it happens. God will forgive you, and take care of you. Just trust yourself and have faith in God. As far as your husband, you have asked and he has refused. Do not beg anymore. If it is meant to be, things may work out later in life. You have to take care of you and your child. If he was any kind of Christian, he would already be helping you with expenses.
2006-12-29 15:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by 2mom35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God helps those who help themselves. Your hubby is gone from the marriage spiritual. Now make God the center of your baby and your life. Do What you have to do Legally to look after your family. eg file divorce paper and get child support. You have done nothing wrong. God Loves You. Make wise decisions.
2006-12-29 15:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by jewelsthomas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says about both living in peace. If one wants to get a divorce, it is acceptable but not pleasing to God.
I would give him an ultimatum, either marriage counseling or divorce.
You never said if he was a Christian or not. If he is, he better get the Bible straight in his life. If he wasn't, being yoked with a nonbeliever makes this sticky.
Unfortunately, I would prepare your life without him. Prayers may change him but I sense in the spirit this probably won't happen.
2006-12-29 15:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would at least file a Temporary Order, which isn't a divorce, but among other things, may establish financial help for you for a short period of time. Maybe by then he will be willing to at least seek counseling. You need to talk to a lawyer and see what can be done. I'm sorry about your situation.
2006-12-29 15:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does Christ care about marriage? He hung out with whores and fishermen...Your question is a financial question and it sounds like he wants nothing to do with you or the baby. "I don't believe in divorce" so what? Deal with it and move on. People don't change. Can you or can you not create a better life without him for yourself and your daughter? God doesn't give a crap about marriage.
2006-12-29 15:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋