Im 19 years old and 5 months pregnant.My baby's father does not want anything to do with my child. Everyone tells me to put him on child support but I dont want to. I don't want to make him take care of a child he does not want. My child might get hurt in the future. I have a boyfriend now who wants to sign the birth certificate. He wants to be the dad. What should I do ?
2006-12-29 15:12:46 · 20 answers · asked by Ramona 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
ok here we go. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. we broke up in may. I got with a guy in august and got pregnant the first time. My babys father did not want anything to do with my child. So we stoped dating the day after I found out i was pregnant in september. My old boyfriend of 5 years and I got back together. We always wanted a child but it never happend. My boyfriend wants to sign the birth certificate and be the father. He has been there for me and my baby. Everyone tells me to put my babys father on child support but I dont want to because I dont want him to have to take care of a child he does not want. I dont want my child to get hurt in the future. What should I do ???
2006-12-29 15:30:06 · update #1
Ya about every woman will tell you to run for it. If you're worried about the money, then do it. But if you're main concern is your child, move on. Suing him for child support may get you some extra cash, but it will also guarantee him rights to your child for the next 18yrs. Do you want that? If not, start your new life with your new bf.
2006-12-29 15:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by xoxo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The natural father has rights. Put him on the certificate and he does need to pay child support, he helped make the baby. Now here goes, time for some truth, your 5 mons. pregnant and already have a new boyfriend. I am sorry but going from one guy to the next that fast does not speak well of your judgment. How do you know in five months he won't change his mind. Than what do you do? Put the true father down and get support, if your new boyfriend says he'll be the father, he can do that without it being on paper.
2006-12-29 15:21:15 · answer #2 · answered by Virginia C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband is a divorce attorney... ABSOLUTELY put the real babies father down on the birth certificate!!!! You do not know what the future holds, you may need that child support! Your current boyfriend may split... Think it through.
On a different note, why at the age of 19 were you trying to get pregnant with your ex? You had plenty of time for kids.
But whats done is done...
Put the real dad in the birth certificate. You may regret it later if you don't.
2006-12-29 15:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by jordansmom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you would have to be done after the baby is born, but look at it this way, someday it will be tit for tat... if the baby's daddy pays child support he may very well want interaction..... and that is what you may want to think about... but be aware if ( god forbid anything should ever happen with the baby and you need his father's DNA or anything of that nature, is he going to be willing?)
As far as you boyfriend now I say sure as long as he knows once the baby is named under him he will have all responsibility for this child money , insurance and everything else......
and what if you 2 break up ? think things thru
this also mean if he is on the birth certificate and felt the want to take the baby from you he could fight you then you would have to file a paternity suit to prove the baby is not his
it all really is something to think about
I don't mean to sound the downer, but obviously you have not been with this guy for long don't think he is prince charming and things will be groovy, you have been with him a maximum of 5 months, what makes you think you know this guy that well ?
Do what is the best for this baby that is all that matters now, you can be happy in your relationship, but at this time , it's all about the baby
2006-12-29 15:26:55 · answer #4 · answered by drkbabe73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to be on state welfare you have to pursue child support unless you put the father as "unknow" on the birth certificate. A friend of mine did that.
I would not let your current b/f be on the birth certificate since he is not the father, but if he is serious he can think about adopting the baby.. you might want to give it more time with him though. The though of having a baby is always nice, but actually dealing with it is different and a lot of men can not handle it.
2006-12-29 15:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T put your current boyfriend on the birth certificate. That is a knee-jerk reaction he is having that, as honorable as it is, will probably cause a lot of problems in the future. If he wants the baby, then he can marry you and adopt the baby. If the father wants nothing to do with the baby, I'm sure he'll have no problem signing over his rights.
2006-12-29 15:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, but even though the baby's father isn't on the birth certificate and isn't paying child support, he still has rights to the child. Your best bet is to have the child, have custody set out by the court, have child support set out, (even if you don't want the money now, you can save it for her/his college or whatever) then everything is in writing and is legal. If the child's father comes and picks him/her up, and refuses to give her back, and you don't have LEGAL papers stating custody and visitation, the cops can't MAKE him give her back, because until custody is set out by the court, both biological parents have the same and equal rights to the child. (Well, if the child is a breast feeding infant, it's different.) Save yourself the legal headache in the long run, get it all done now. You can always have your husband adopt your child and have his name placed on the birth certificate. Protect yourself now and avoid problems in the future.
2006-12-29 15:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem is going to be when this new boyfriend decides he don't want to be a dad... maybe in 2 weeks and maybe in a few years. He will demand a DNA test and it will show he is NOT Jr's. Dad. So Jr. thinks he is dad. What kind of messed up is he gonna be? Or real Dad decides he wants a kid in a year or 5 and all the sudden you are going to have a real problem. My advice? Get the DNA test, make him pay child support through the state. They will collect it for you.
And it would be real nice if we could prevent our children from being hurt, but it happens. My ex-husband and I are divorced and believe me, I would do anything I possibly could to keep it from effecting my children. That ain't gonna happen. But letting him get off without taking responsibility for his actions isn't realistic. And also it will be a big sign to the child that he real father don't like/love him, of course, that will come with the territory.
2006-12-29 15:22:57 · answer #8 · answered by Karen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't put either of them on the birth certificate... what if you break up with this guy, how do you explain that to your child? if you don't put either than later on down the road if he wants to adopt the baby he can... the child support thing is up to you... I didn't file on my sons bio father because I didn't want him around anyway.. he hasn't been around for a year, and my husband plans to adopt my son.... but if he is going to be in your childs life, than yes I would file on him... just depends, I would wait and see how he acts after the baby is born, if he acts like he is interested, then file, if not, then don't...even if you put the other guys name on the birth certificate, all it takes is a dna test and that wont matter.... Just don't put either and wait to see how he acts after the baby comes.....Good Luck!
2006-12-29 15:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by ME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my world, if you play...you pay. It doesn't matter if he "wants" the child or not. It's allegedly his and he needs to be responsible for it.
You are going to have to take care of this child for the next 18 years. Why should he not have to help shoulder that burden? He helped make it.
It is not legal for your boyfriend of the moment to sign the birth certificate. Unless the father legally gives up control and the boyfriend legally adopts the child. Good luck with that at your age.
2006-12-29 15:23:16 · answer #10 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋