Picture this: My wife and I were married for 15 years, have 3 kids and another coming. We had some fights and squabbles over the years, mainly due to me being a womanizer, but all are settled and was forgiven. For two years now, I havent done anythingto displease her, as I promised. Now comes the big problem. I didnt know that she was talking about our problem to our relatives, and that they held grudge against me. Her cousin onced lived with us once in a while and suddenly stopped going in our house. In the spirit of the season, not knowing about how they feel about me, we visited her relatives this Xmas. I was surprised when almost everyone tried to snob me. Her cousin who used to stay with us, challenged me for a fistfight and humiliated me in front of everyone including our kids. My wife tried to pacify. But then, she didnt say a word to her cousin to point his mistake. When we got home, I felt she was siding with them, as she blames me for what happened. Is it right to separate?
2006-12-29 15:11:55 · 10 answers · asked by Drew 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I don't think it's a good idea to talk to your family about your relationship problems. Because they hear all the bad stuff and not enough of the good stuff-- if that makes sense. Really, it's between the two of you and not them. And it sounds to me like she's still a little upset. If I were you I'd talk to her about it and try to get everything straightened out before separating. Because if you don't fix this, and you get into another relationship, the baggage will follow you. And the cycle will continue.Hope it all works out!
2006-12-29 15:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jacki T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, it is not alright to separate. Couples fight and argue at times, It is just a normal thing in the life of married people. But no matter how big or small the fight is, it is fair enough for borh of you to have an open discussion and have listening ears to what the other has to say. Try to face the problem instead and find ways to resolve the conflict. Have an open and honest communication with your wife. Leaving your wife will not erase the problem but it will make the matter worse. Think about the innocent children who will become the victims of broken homes. Do the best you can for the sake of your family.
2006-12-29 15:33:55 · answer #2 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you love her? That is the first question. Does she love you? Would be the second. Lastly, how long do you think she should hold a grudge for your bad behavior? How long did the behavior last? Women DO talk to their family when they are upset. If you hurt your wife, then odds are, you hurt the family too. Doesn't surprise me that they stood you up. Maybe you should have apologized to them too, if you were sincere about working things out. If you weren't your wife's best friend while you were being her husband, who was she supposed to talk to? If you are asking this question, is it because you want people to agree that you can ditch your wife, is it because you are looking for permission to ease your guilt? If you are going to leave because you are now having to face the "hard part" caused by you, then you are being a coward. Life always looks greener on the other side ... doesn't mean that it is. Ask yourself this, if 2 months, or a year down the road you saw your wife with another man, would it destroy you? Could you live with the thought of someone else touching her, loving her? You need to choose what you want, quit asking for a get out of commitment free card.
2006-12-29 15:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by 2mom35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, IT IS NOT RIGHT TO SEPARATE. She is pregnant with your child, and has three kids for crying out loud! After all you two have been through, I hardly think what went down at Christmas should be the straw that breaks the camel's back unless you're just looking for an excuse. Picture this: if YOU had been cheated on for 13 out of 15 years, what would YOU have done? I bet you would have leaned on family to get you through it! And, I bet you would still have a little resentment built up for what you were put through all those years! Bottom line is you still have some "making up" to do for what you did, and you not only have to sell her, but you have to sell the family, too. When you do things like that against your wife, you're doing it against your KIDS, and your extended FAMILY too. Don't get me wrong, 2 years is fantastic...that's a great start! But 2 years of Johnny being good don't completely make up for the 13 of Johnny bad boy. Suck it up and quit your whinning.
2006-12-29 15:25:26 · answer #4 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go see a marriage counselor. All might be forgiven but I'm afraid all is not forgotten. If she is talking to family members then she is still hurt. Let her know that if she wants to talk to someone then you will be more than glad to go to counseling with her so ya'll can talk this thing through.
2006-12-29 15:16:52 · answer #5 · answered by Bilinda G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like maybe she hasn't really forgiven you for everything that has happened, and even if she has it isn't likely that her family will. that's just how families tend to be; protective. if you truly love her, i'd suggest counseling. beyond that, try taking her cousin to dinner or somewhere you can talk and explain your side of the story. good luck
2006-12-29 15:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she needs to be the controller and dictate hers and your movements. do no longer enable her to do this, this is hypocritical for her to maintain tabs on you whilst she replaced into seeing different adult men? the greater severe factor is that it sounds like she is attempting to apply your son as a means to maintain administration over you. additionally do no longer enable her to do this! regardless of in case you divorced, legally she can not shop you away out of your son and you ought to nonetheless be a large father regardless in case you're coming domicile popular and seeing him. in some situations it ought to be greater effectual to divorce so he won't witness the anger and hostility in the domicile between the the two one in each and every of you. you in basic terms ought to extremely ask your self whether you pick for to proceed to spend the the remainder of you existence with this lady? If confident then stay collectively, get help and artwork it out! If no longer, then tell her the type you experience and what you pick for to do and commence the approach of having a divorce! good success!
2016-10-06 04:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her Family, as bad as you say they don't like you, if they are willing to talk then they wanna seperate everything out. talk to your wife too, and if things dont go the right way, seperate and see how things go later.
2006-12-29 15:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to fight for your marriage a little while longer! :) If it doesn't work out at least you know you tried.and everboby can 4 give but so can 4get
2006-12-29 15:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems her family hasent forgotton what you did to her and they arent as forgiven as her deep in side she hasent forgotton either pal . my opion ?
2006-12-29 15:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋