My wife always sided with my in-laws when we have disagreements. Is it right to separate with her?

Question

I was humiliated, scorned and laughed at when we visited my in-laws this christmas. I have good intention in going there because of the season. My wife's cousin also almost punch me, asking me to fight with him. In the end, my wife again sided with them. Should I file legal separation with her cause I can't stand the thought that her relatives are more important to her. Pls help. Should I, or should I not?

Answer 1

I had an incident early in my 1st marriage that when I look back in time if I would have only pulled the plug then it would have spared me tremendous grief in the years that followed. It had many similarities to your description. Then there were even more to follow.
This sounds like pure BS to me, and if its an ongoing problem it just rips and tears at the core of what you believe is right in life.
Not to mention how it dissolves trust and caring in a marriage.
A person just reaches a point where they get tired of being and feeling like the ol' beaten dog.
This is not what a marriage is about, period. The woman is to bond with her husband and become ONE and she should be supportive of you and your feelings and vice versa in situations.
My 1st wife needed to mature more, and it simply did not happen until I had had enough. The rest is history. You know in your heart what needs to happen. If its change you need to conclude being the ol' beat dog, well do it. Its very doubtful it will ever get any better. I put up with it for 8 years. Never again. My 2nd marriage is now 16+ years, it hasn't been easy, but experience teaches one a lot in life.

Answer 2

Ask yourself a few questions. Are you happy with her? Are you able to go out with her all the time and feel good about her being with you? Are you able to feel good about yourself? Does she care if any of the answers are no? Is she willing to work on this? If you don't get the right answers then maybe separating for a while will help. If you both find yourselves unable to function without the other then get together and talk. If you find a black cloud is lifted and you can probably have a good time alone then leave and stay gone. It's your call. You are the one that has to be happy. Don't believe the old saying that says you dont marry the other one's family. You marry them. That's BS. After 30 years we still have arguments over family. I'm ending it.

Answer 3

Have you talked to her about this? Husband's and wives should always put one another first. You also didn't explain how this argument started. If you were being a prick or were **** faced acting like an asshole, than maybe you deserved it. But if they were just bothering you for no paticular reason, well of course she should be on your side. How were you humiliated scorned and laughed at?

Answer 4

have you discussed this with her? Do they have a reason to dis like you? Have you treated her poorly?
I would say if you have been a stand up guy and a good husband then try to talk it over first. If that doesn't work then do the same when she's with your family so she can better understand how it makes you feel.

Answer 5

You should tell your wife that she needs to make a decision as to who is more important to have in her life - you or her relatives.

Answer 6

Her family is always going to be important to her. Think about it....she's been with them her whole life and you're new compared to them. That doesn't mean that they are more important than you. You just have to accept that she is protecting them.

Answer 7

Why don't you try counseling before you do anything as drastic as separating? If you only see them at holidays it's definitely not worth losing her.

Answer 8

do you love her enough to put up with the sh*t? if not, end it now. don't drag out the inevitable.