I recently started dating a guy around 4 months ago who has a son from a previouse marriage that is 6 years old now. My boyfriend and I are very much in love and I don't mind that he has a son and his son is a very good kid but I feel nervouse when I think about what my role should be since our relationship is serious. I know his son likes me and has no ill will towards me but I still don't know how much I should try to get close to him or what I would be to his son. I know I won't be his mom since he has one. Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation with any suggestions or experiences?
2006-12-29 14:43:26 · 4 answers · asked by N K 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was in th esame situation. Me and my husband married and togather we brought 3 kids to our relationship. I have one son and he has a son and a daughter. I wnted us to have alittle girl together, but my husband insteaded that his little girl could be mine. I knew this wasn't an option for me due to she had a mom who she would see 2 or 3 times a year if she was lucky. I did love her as my own but i knew that one day she would leave to be with her mom. Now she is 13, she has chose to live in mississippi. Now she won't have anything to do with us. It killed me, because i want a daughter so bad and i was this close to having one. I hurt and cry over it. It was like someone took her away and there wasn't a damn thing i could do about it. Love him and just keep telling your heart that he has a mom.
2006-12-29 15:52:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation, but it was my boyfriend who was in your position, and my son was 6 years old. Your role is "Daddy's girlfriend" at this point. I would say that you should just be yourself, do activities with both your boyfriend and his son, but also let them do things just the two of them. It's still early in the relationship, and probably even earlier in your relationship with the son (I'm assuming you didn't meet and hang out with him right off the bat?), so no need to get involved in discipline and those types of things just yet (just my personal opinion). In addition, it is important that he still has some alone time with this Dad since he does not get to see him every day. That is in no way a negative towards you, but part of what needs to take place with a young boy in a divorce situation.
2006-12-29 14:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get close to him, but more so like a friend, dont mother him to much, he already has a mother. But keep in mind it is particularly easy to win over a six year olds heart. Play with him, sneek him candy when daddy isn't looking, what ever works. Dont worry about it to much. A teenage son, not that would be something to worry about. A six year old who already likes you, You can handle that! Good luck.
Sheri
2006-12-29 14:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by Sheri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be yourself kids know when your fake i have two 12,3 currently dating a man with kids just act like he is your friends son u only been together for 4 mo it takes time for a childs to warm upto the new OTHER ONE dont try to hard its harder for the son than u but dont try to little its EXTREMELY important to the parent u 2 get along
2006-12-29 15:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by fancy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋