My boyfriend and I are having a lot of problems lately. His father has been diagnosed with cancer and is about to leave us and it seems like all his anger and frustration is thrown towards me. The problem is that's pretty much all the attention I get from him. He's not like he used to be and I don't know how to react. I just feel really left out and pushed to the side while others get all the affection from him. I know he loves me but I can't help feeling unimportant. What do I do? Should I be worried?
2006-12-29 14:38:55 · 8 answers · asked by heatherandbrian1826 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Losing a parent is such an emotional thing to go through. I would just continue to be there for him and try to understand what he is going through. I know it's hard because it's putting stress on your relationship, but please realize that his dad is his first priority right now. It's not that he doesn't care about you, it's just so hard for him to think of letting his dad go. Don't worry. One day he will really appreciate all of your support.
2006-12-29 14:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by ddcalny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression and grief can be very difficult to deal with. It's possible that he is taking things out on you because you, as a girlfriend, require a lot of affection from him. That can be hard for him to deal with when he is trying to grieve over the impending loss of his father. This will be very hard for both of you, and if not handled appropriately could result in a failed relationship. Back off just a little, give him some breathing room, and wait. Counseling would be great if he'll agree to it.
2006-12-29 22:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by AK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to always take their anger out on the ones closest to them. This seems to be like a really hard time for him and his recent actions may be a little harsh now but this may be the only way he knows how to release some of the stress he is under...you have to be strong for the both of you know. You have already said that this is not like him, so be his comforter, do things for him that he like...even though he is acting like a jerk and help him through this tough time in his life and he will appreciate it and realize how truly special you are to him and he will be back to him old self soon.
2006-12-29 22:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by soul child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should take a step back from the relationship. Your boyfriend has a lot to deal with at the moment, which explains his erratic emotional behaviour. Tell him that you're there for him if he needs a shoulder to cry on, then give him some space to grieve.
2006-12-29 22:42:31 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes losing a loved one can change a person permanently. However, you don't know that that will happen to your b/f. Try to be patient and loving. This is obviously very hard on him. Try to remember it's not about you, but he needs you desperately right now even though it may not feel like it. Hang in there.
2006-12-29 22:43:08 · answer #5 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is dealing with something terrible. Just be there for him when he needs you. Some people react differently than others. Maybe he doesn't want you to see how hurt he is. I know it's hard for you but just realize it's harder for him and to stick with him. If he wants space, give it to him. Just let him know you'll be there no matter what.
2006-12-29 22:44:03 · answer #6 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just support your boyfriend. Sorry to say but you are not the most important thing on his mind right now. Let him have the time he needs with his dad. Just imagine if it was your father about to die. How can one prepare their feelings for this? Just be supportive.
2006-12-29 22:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being selfish. He is dealing with something terrible and he is angry. You nagging him wont help.
2006-12-29 22:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by Mazlow01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋