Why do the things that happen in your childhood affect you when you grow older?

Question

abused children become abusers
sexually abused children become promiscuious

why is that?

ps

i know there are different effects. but i cant list them all. those are just the default effects. my point is either way it affects you one way or another and i am asking why.

Answer 1

My personal belief is that even if your childhood has that behavior, we still have a choice to undo what "genetics" and "history" carry. Typically, in psychology..it's the learning and behavior theories that lie within the pattern. how we talk, eat our food, how we ride a bike, how we write numbers and write is all learned growing up. As a child..if you are abused for doing something wrong u are taught that i is how you handle the situations with your own kids (even though it is very very wrong!) With someone in this situation you just have to teach yourself that this behavior is wrong and the pattern shouldnt be followed. Many kids arent able to figure these things out on their own.

All about recognizing and breaking the cycle.

There are many theories on Sigmund Freud too that will follow.

Answer 2

It's important to remember that far from everyone who is abused as a child grows up to either abuse another person or to become promisicuous. Most are able to - eventually - lead happy and healthy lives.

A more important question is probably, "What is it that enables some people with tragic backgrounds to become productive adults?" If we could effectively answer that question, we would be able to foster these characteristics in the young.

Answer 3

First of all... abuse effects people differently.

The reason anything that happens in childhood effects you is because we learn from it. Our worlds are built on our experiences and what we think about them. Our perceptions of certain people, events, places are carried with us until the day we die.

Just because something negative happens to you doesn't mean you will become that thing... or become a negative person.
I was raped by a guy I had known most of my life. You know what, I hope that he is doing well and has corrected his unhealthy behavior. You can allow anything to screw with your head or effect the way you think. Or you can choose to learn from it, deal with it, and move on.

Answer 4

Abuse is all about power over someone. It does not have to be about sex..but sex often becomes an obsession. When you are a child, you have no control over what has happened to you, so you often repeat the same offense as an adult to someone who is the same age you were when you were abused. By abusing others or yourself with too many sexual partners, you are attemtping to take control of the power you once lost to someone else. Therapy and group sessions with similiar victims can help victims regain their self esteem and personal power in a positive way.

Answer 5

that's not exactly true, some look back at their parents and decide that's what they don't want to become. In your case, some children grow up into believing those behaviors are normal. It's something they had to witness day in and day out. It's learned how we are supposed to deal with anger and sexuality...

Answer 6

Because when we are young that is all we know. We don't know about right and wrong. We don't know about normal families and dysfunctional families. We are learning all this and we are very impressionable. We think being beaten is normal and all other sick things that happen to us. We feel guilty as children when bad things happen and as we grow up, it is normal to us. So in our subconscience we act out our childhood as it is familiar to us, even though as we get older, we know it was all wrong. If a child comes from an alcoholic family, subconsciously they look for an alcoholic mate, as it is familiar to them, even though they hate them eventually.

Answer 7

Children live what they learn.

Answer 8

because it is in your mind and you carry that with you all your life.

Answer 9

cuz it like a terrible nightmare..that wont go away it jus keeps comin bak 2 haunt u.,.that y u shud let pplz kno wat goin on..so dey can help