Should I give it more time?

Question

My marriage has been on a serious roller coaster all year. I didn't have the happiest pregnancy because hubby was upset, I was embarrassed when I found out he was being extra friendly to a woman out our church behind my back, and now I'm having a terrible birthday - he's not celebrating it with me. Yes, he was there the whole time when I had our baby, yes he's been spending more quality time with me lately and yes, he's been much better with our baby lately. But for some reason I can't completely shake the thought of wanting to leave him and raise my child in a better environment. Should I give it more time?

Answer 1

For the sake of yr child, give it some time. Look at the big picture, find out more about your suspicions and lastly, every relationship has its fair share of temptation, so be very sure that's happening otherwise, becos of yr instincts, you may loose him completely. Mayb go for some counselling and if he's not keen, then have a one-to-one with him and let him know yr insecurities. Hope that helps

Answer 2

You should give it more time. What I found that helps is to find some time completely alone - that means ask a friend or family to help out by watching the baby, let your husband know you need a few hours by yourself, and just take off. Don't have your cell phone on, don't watch the clock, just take the time you need to prioritize and think about what you want. My favorite saying is that the most important things you have or accomplish are those that are the most difficult to obtain or keep. So if your marriage and family are worth it, it may be some bumpy roads ahead, but it will be well worth it in the end. Once you figure out what you want, tell your husband and stand firm. If it is respect you want, then teach him how you want to be treated. Your fate is in your hands - take charge and make yourself happy.

Answer 3

It sounds like your husband is very immature and doesn't quite know how to handle your new situation (baby, etc). This sadly is quite normal for lots of young families. You said he seems to be getting better lately, so maybe give it more time. Honestly you don't give too much info (like HOW friendly did he get with that lady? Does he abuse you? etc). I think you should see a family therapist. I know it sounds scary but really what's more important than making your family work, right? I'd try anything I could. Good luck to you and your new baby.

Answer 4

Remember that the hormone changes you have been going through being pregnant and giving birth can have a huge effect on how you think and feel.

Talk to your doctor about these different feelings you experience and see if he thinks a temporary hormone supplement will help.

Many women suffer from mood swings and unwanted unhealthy thoughts at this time of their lives. You are not alone and should not worry. They will eventually go away, but a little chemical help is nice to have to get you through.

Answer 5

What kind of church going lady get's friendly with a married man!? what kind of church is that you are into?
You need to talk with him, your resentment will only get worse and it will make you crazy. It can make a good women go down.

He sounds selfish as well. What kind of man can't be there for his wife when she's pregnant WITH HIS CHILD! gosh what is wrong with people these days! SO SELFISH!
You need to sit down and have a SERIOUS TALK! TALK AND TALK AND TALK!

Answer 6

It sounds to me like he's making an effort. But is this a permanent thing or is he just trying to smooth things over?? If you're that unhappy you have no obligation to stay. There's tons of single parents out there. But you need to do what you feel is best for your child and yourself. Hope it all works out!!

Answer 7

Yes, you should give marriage and relationship more time. Marriage takes a committment, hard work, and dedication. It's not as easy as it seems. Sometimes, the grass seems greener on the other side. It's all what you make it!!

Answer 8

Just put your child in the happiest environment possible. Even if you child is an infant...they can remember anger. Good luck.

Answer 9

Yes i think you should always try to make the marriage work i mean you both took vows for better for worse right?For the sake of your child if u can keep it together.And i do think he is wrong for not being their for your birthday.

Answer 10

that depends on your history. Cheaters usually cheat again. There's a 60% chance of it. Your gut is usually right. But, this is not a racce to divorce court. Weigh everything. See a counselor together if you haven't already. If he won't - there's your sign.