OK i need the women and the mens in put on quarrel im having with my husband and we wanna know what you think?

Question

my husband made i comment that i dind'nt think was right he said that he should do what he wants when he wants for example when i come home im telling you where im going and im leaving now is it just me or is that very rude and not very conserderate

now he said that he dont need my permission for what he wants to do

Answer 1

It depends where he wants to go. If he wants to visit a girl then let him go and change the locks.
If he wants to go to the movies then you should say "OK, see you in a while." He is not your prisoner.

Answer 2

That's fine if he wants a guys night out every once in a while. Everyone needs time to themselve once in a while. However, he should remember that he is married now. He has someone else's feelings to consider now.

It also depends on how often he wants to do whatever he wants. Is this every night? Every week? Once a month? All of that is well and fine but does he realize that that door swings both ways? Could he handle you coming home and telling him where you're going and you're leaving now?

Or is this a double standard kind of thing? He can do what he wants, when he wants and you have to sit back and watch?

If so, then there's a serious problem Marriage is 50/50. It common courtesy to tell your spouse where you're going and when you expect to be back but he's your husband...not your father. Just as you're his wife...not his mother. If you're over the age of consent you don't need his permission any more than he needs yours. If he wants to go and come when he pleases than you have the same right to do likewise.

Answer 3

That doesn't sound right. In a marriage, it should be, Honey, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna go do this. Or If you don't need me to do anything I would like to go do this. It's called RESPECT. And it should go both ways, not just one. There is no room for selfishness in a marriage. One mate shouldn't hold the other one back from doing things but it is all on how you go about it. I've been married for 12 years and there has only been 4 times I have told my husband no, that he couldn't go do something. It was due to me feeling ill and he had to stay home and take care of our son. If you trust each other then there shouldn't be any problems with letting the other go. But to sit and there and say I'm boss and this is how it is gonna be.....that sounds like a one sided marriage, which is not healthy for all involved. Good luck to you both.

Answer 4

It is inconsiderate not to tell someone you live with when you are leaving and where you are going (even just a general statement such as "I'm going to the store" It is just common courtesy. To just disappear without any comment will make the spouse feel as if the other person does not respect them.
Also you need to know so you can plan things such as when to have dinner etc...
Part of being married is not getting to be self centered and only think of what you want. Now he is part of a team and must consider someone else in his daily plans. He should be grateful that someone cares where he is going at all.

Answer 5

It depends on who you ask. But the real problem is that it bothers you and he needs to take that into consideration and they two of you should try to come up with a compromise. If you ask people outside of your relationship you'll get all kinds of answers supporting each side. The two of you need to figure out what works best for you if you both want to continue this relationship in peace.

We don't know every detail of your fights. You should explain to him why you want him home and how you feel when he talks to you that way, and hopefully he'll understand. And maybe if he explains why it's important to him to do what he does, you can understand him a little more too.

Good luck, hope you guys figure this out.

Answer 6

If I understand what you are saying right here....He is saying that he shouldn't have to tell you when he is leaving or coming back. It is common courtesy to at least say bye to your wife, husband, room mate or whatever. At the very least a note. Perhaps the 3rd degree is uncalled for but if there is nothing to hide...then why not enjoy the honesty.

However you work it out - it needs to be the same on both sides.

Answer 7

Control issues. Don't shoot those control issues down right away. Ask to be included. Ask why he feels to be defensive when he tells you these things. Men are complicated, but are very simple at the same time. Just be honest and ask. Some men like to be in control, it's really not a bad thing. My life is better since my husband is somewhat controlling. He doesn't run my life, there is a big difference. Tell him what's up.

Answer 8

In order to have a good relationship, communication is of utmost importance. My wife of 20 years and I have never had an arguement, because we are open and sincere with each other. We have a fantastic life together and apart (when her or I go out with our independent friends), but we always know what the other is doing. It is important that you hide nothing, be honest, have good sex, and enjoy your times no matter what you are doing and with whom... be good to each other... be best friends. It really does work.

Answer 9

Marrige is not I am going to do what I want , when I want.
It is a ""WE THING "
You do not tell your other half that you want to be a seperate part of them.
You are a team.

Your husband is rude.

One more thing you might try, and that is tell him to check out what some of the people on the site think of his behavior.
jimmy e

Answer 10

He has a total lack of respect for you. If my husband wants to go out and do something, I don't have a problem with it. He will say "I'm going to go have a couple beers with the guys tonight." No problem, but if he just got up and left without saying anything to me or saying it with disrespect, he'd get his marching papers!

Answer 11

it's common courtesy to tell your spouse where you're going...... what if there was an emergency and you had no idea where to get a hold of him? Without more details, it's hard to tell if he's trying to hide anything, or you are overly suspicious....... but spouses who care should always have an idea where the other is, it prevents worry. If my husband said that to me, I would tell him to keep going then.