My fiance initiates sex by touching himself. Is this normal?

Question

He wasn't always like this. He used to try to please me and initiate by kissing me. Lately, he just lies there touching himself and expects me to take over and just hop on top. I've told him I need foreplay. He said it is too much work. Is this normal?

Answer 1

hell no

Answer 2

I wouldn't say it is normal but it is definitely selfish of him, jeez! If it is too much work for him to start you up with a little foreplay then I would think you should get a little lazy with him. If he is like this now and you aren't even married yet, have you not thought about what your sex life will be once you two are married? You might want to re-think things, honey! Sex is a very important part of a relationship, married or not! Good Luck to you!

Answer 3

If he is male, then touching himself is not only normal, but deeply engraned in his psyche.
Him not listening to your needs, at least once in a while, may be signs of something more serious.
Ask him if he wants you to be like a car (turn the key and go), if that is not your style, then seriously listen to him to figure out why he is acting like he does.
The easiest way to initate foreplay is to initiate it yourself, then let him think it was his idea. The pleasure you get from it and the (presumably) better sex it leads to will program his brain that foreplay is a good thing and he will initate it with more frequency.
Men are simple creatures that are easily programed. As long as it does not lead to manipulative behavior on your part, then it is harmless. Good Luck, Good ......... ;)

Answer 4

he is masterbating too much, too much porn and has become selfish and lazy. It is not normal, do not accept it, tell him that if you wanted a selfish lazy masterbater that you would still be with fill in the blank, and that if he doesnt get back to making an effort, you will stop all laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping (for him) and that you will buy a huge vibrator and make him obsolete. I would start looking for a new husband, he doesnt care how you feel, what a jerk, it is too much work? I really feel a wake up call is needed. I wouldnt put up with that.

suggest that since he isnt making the effort, that you want to get a boyfriend that will, men do it all the time, this is the reverse.
We teach people how to treat us, reward bad behavior by doing nothing so do something

Answer 5

First, i do no longer think of he's cheating or something like that. some women individuals consistently leap to that end. It seems such as you have an extremely stable relationship yet you're in diverse places while it is composed of desire. the respond in the past me makes an surprising element appropriate to the "hunt". adult adult males DO relish that. it may additionally be that he in simple terms has a decrease sexcontinual. i've got been with the comparable guy for 2 a protracted time and nonetheless we've had stable intercourse, there have incredibly been situations while considered one of our drives have been bigger than the different. i think of at 40 we've in simple terms now completely properly matched. in case you pick intercourse greater, look after your self greater. If he's under rigidity perhaps he in simple terms desires the thank you to loosen up and intercourse in simple terms isn't it for him on the 2nd. If he's feeling some form of tension to accomplish, provide him a pair of opportunities a week to easily relish..and not carry out in any respect. tell him to place lower back, loosen up and enable you to do all the paintings. What guy can say no to that??? solid success :)

Answer 6

If you had been married for 5-10 years I'd say time to spice things up a bit, but yes, it is pretty normal, or happens a lot. People get comfortable with each other, tired, etc. Maybe some new games or lingerie or something?! Or a little more time alone. But it might be a good thing to discuss before the wedding, or he may get worse!

Answer 7

hah, that makes me laugh. I guess it is normal sometimes, i sometimes don't even feel like getting into forplay. My boyfriend shows me his butt when he wants some.. I think it is funny and it mostly just makes me laugh. I would not want to just 'hop on' if my boyfriend did this either. I guess just explain to him that it does not turn you on At All, and maybe give him suggestions to things he could do that will get you in the mood, even if they are just little subtle things (that don't take too much effort...) Like if i am sitting on the couch with my boyfriend and he kissed my neck, even just a little kiss, that takes NO effort, it drives me wild. I hope this helps, good luck.

Someone mentioned try doing the same thing to him to see how he likes it...well i assure you he would like it...

Answer 8

You say that this is how he initiates sex. Do you ever initiate it? My husband gets this way sometimes and I just have to bite the bullet and take it upon myself to give him the best darn sex he has ever had. This generally works for me. Afterwards tell him that if he wants it like that again he has to ( whatever it is you like)to get you going like that again. If that doesn't work and he is still lazy, then be selfish also.

Answer 9

I think in his guys mind he is trying to show you how much you turn him on, unfortunately in your women's mind your thinking that he needs to be touching you, to warm you up and not himself, if he wants you to get on top. You may just has to have a discussion with him, or if your too shy, put up with it. Either way, there is no foreplay or its his version of foreplay.

Answer 10

He is totally dumb. He has no consideration. Tell him that hopping on top is too much work and you would rather just lie there.

You should be forewarned that if it is like this now, imagine what it will be like after you are married. You might want to hop right out of the picture.

Answer 11

Yes, sounds pretty typical of a male. After the new in the relationship wears off lots of men get that way. Just stop having sex with him if he doesn't get more concerned about your needs.