basically, i have this theory that once you break up with someone, they should just pack up and never be heard of again. No matter what relationship you are in, there are always comparisons to past relationships and we secretly decide who was better at what or who was worst, and i hate that idea.
i have been with my girlfriend for about 10 months, and her ex has done nothing but give me grief while my girlfriend lets it slide away because he is still her friend, despite his obvious feelings for her, she ignores them because she ' needs someone else to talk to besides me '.. he even text her the other day asking if he still had a chance with her.. my girlfriend just forgot about it as if nothing happened, and complained at me for trying to get them to stop talking..
ex's = sh*t ..
i've done evrything for this guy to get the f*cking message that it's tearing my relationship apart, and my girlfriend thinks that i'm nothing but jealous...
need help and opinions..
2006-12-29 13:04:55 · 15 answers · asked by 18/M/Scotland 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
!!!!! HER EX LIVES NEXT DOOR TO HER !!!!!
2006-12-29 13:15:18 · update #1
Hey, what makes you think hes not ruining your relationship on purpose, somme people do my boyfriends ex kept coming back. and because i have the same opinion as you, because my boyfriend is still in touch with his ex he has her mobile number an several email addesses for her.
Your partner should not be treating you like this sit her down and try to explain to her how bad she is making you feel and that with her ex being around you dont think it is helping your relationship as its ruining it.
If she dont listen then im afraid to say shes not worth it cus she dont care about your feelings if she dont compromise. Good Luck ..................................
2006-12-30 01:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think your girlfriend needs a better network of friends (so that exes are not used as someone else to talk to), then she would be able to drop the ex and have a healthy relationship with you and her own friends too.
When a relationship dies, bury it and walk away. The one thing you need at that time is something new, not to try and hang on the the threads of the old relationship. The ideal of "staying friends" is for dreamers or people who never quite got over the breakup, or who never wanted to breakup in the first place, and asking a relationship to change from loving or sexual to platonic and friendly is unreasonable and unrealistic.
If it continues, let him know in no uncertain terms that it's time for him to move on and break contact and that it's not up for discussion.
Hope this helps, just my two cents worth.
2006-12-29 13:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Short of beating her ex into the ground, there isn't alot you can do about it until you marry your girlfriend. Then you could put the hurts to him simply by filing a criminal complaint against him.
You could by law sue him in civil court for the emotional stress he's bringing to your life, but a jury may not find in your favor.
I'd tell the girl friend to change her cell number, not have any contact with him whatsoever, or you'll send her packing. If she care's about you enough she'll do this without hesitation.
I feel for you in this situation. Sounds like her ex won't let go, he needs counseling for sure.
2006-12-29 13:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What future can you see in this relationship... honestly? None.
They speak to each other really often, live next door, still friends, he has feelings for her, she probably has feelings for him, she needs someone else to talk to besides you and it is inevitable... almost 100% guaranteed that they will get together.. They still love each other.
Get out of this relationship because it will just end up stressing you out it really will, your mind will go into overdrive all the time, you will end up not trusting your gf and this will ruin the relationship and give her an excuse to blame your 'jealousy' for the problems you are going through.
You cant even stop them seeing each other.... they live next door!! Really, do yourself the biggest favour and tell her how you feel and finish the relationship... repeat after me... " THIS RELATIONSHIP IS A WASTE OF MY PRECIOUS TIME, LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR THIS SH*T"
2006-12-29 14:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by Just me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. My bf has a slew of jealous, stalkerish exs. But he avoids them like the plauge.
If this girl can't get a clue, leave her after talking it out. Seriously, this guy is ready to pounce as soon as the relationship turns sour and she wants him there. Sounds like you're just rebound. Or his is. Either way, she's a player and you deserve better.
2006-12-29 13:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you a bit.Have you tried talking to her calmly,not in the heat of the moment?Maybe if you got her thinking about if the shoe was on the other foot,maybe she would reconsider and think of your feelings.If not,(and I hate to say this)maybe she doesn't care for you as much as you do for her.
And as far as being friends with exes,some people say it can be done,but I've seen several of those situations and they NEVER work out.Sorry
2006-12-29 13:12:59 · answer #6 · answered by G M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically, i think that your girlfriend is keeping her options open, if i were you, like i tell a lot of my clients, if you can show her that it really is not bothering you, know matter how much it actually is, then in the long term you will come out on top. good luck
2006-12-29 13:10:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
bin there, my ex had a girlfriend who was his ex, and they were close, so close that she ruled our relationship and he even ended up screwing her again when we had a bust up. It's bad news, get out of it she ain't worth the pain that's caused by this messed up crap, mine was over 7 years ago and I've since married and have 2 beautiful babies, but that bastard still preys on my mind.
2006-12-29 16:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she still has some feeling for this guy this ex. And he definetly has feelings for her. Talk to her about this, but ultimatly he is just an annoyance, ignore him, don't let him get a rise out of you and he'll stop. he's just trying to get attention.
2006-12-29 13:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rick J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand. Either she really is completely oblivious to his feelings for her (which I doubt) or she enjoys his attention and she likes making you jealous (I have known plenty of girls like that). I know you have been together for awhile, but if she doesn't respect your feelings and make it clear to this ex that she has no interest in him, maybe its time to reconsider this relationship. She may not be completely over him.
2006-12-29 13:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by bustylaroo99 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋