He keeps hugging me really hard! It's hardly a sign of affection, he does it so hard it hurts. The last time, we were in his local pub and it was really embarassing. I didn't want to hit him in front of his pub-mates, but neither did I want to be crushed. I have tried hitting him, and this stops him doing it, that's for sure. But, I don't want to have to keep hitting him! I'm a peaceful person! What I'm wondering is if I should stop seeing him altogether, as this thing is really annoying me. He just doesn't get it when I tell him to stop doing it. He says, ok sorry, but then a few weeks later he does it again. Any ideas on how we can stay friends?
2006-12-29 12:46:09 · 27 answers · asked by Kango Man 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
just tell him u like him,but hes not having your noodles
2006-12-30 21:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a whole lot of options on the spectrum between hitting him and stop seeing him. You've told him to stop doing it, but have you really sat him down over a cuppa and had this talk privately and seriously. After you establish a serious tone, "Hey mate, I really need to talk to you about something" you tell him that what he is doing really bothers you. You also tell him it hurts. What if he keeps hugging other people like that? If he hurts you could he injure someone else? If he's unaware that he hugs that hard, you could be doing him a favor. Could you come up with a way to remind him? Like right before he hugs you say, laughing, "no bone crushing" and that may help him break his habit. If he is aware of it, and thinks it's a macho thing to do, you're honestly better off without him, but you can spend your time praying for the ribs of his next girlfriend!
P.S. Not knowing your own strength can be dangerous. I worked with a guy like that, shook hands too hard, slapped people on the back too hard, etc. He was at a mall one day and a guy started having a heart attack. The guy I worked with tried CPR, and you know the part where you make a fist of both hands and slam it on the chest to get the heart to start again? He slammed into the guys chest, broke his ribs, drove the ribs straight into the heart and killed the guy instantly...true story
2006-12-29 12:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit the bloke down. Tell him it hurts when he does that and that you want him to stop. If that doesn't do it, then he's an idiot and does not have enough regard for your feelings. Is he like that with other things or just the hugging issue?
Trick to try: Put both hands out, palms up in a push stance, while stepping backwards, with elbows locked and say, "I said STOP. DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"
If that fails to get it through his head, kick him to the curb because he's a blockhead.
Good luck!
2006-12-29 12:50:05 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's one thing to show a sign of physical affection; it's another thing to hurt someone. If you've already told him verbally not to be so rough, and you've now had to resort to hitting him, it's time to end the relationship. If you two got married, would you want to slap him in order to make him pay bills? Or maybe if you didn't like something he did in bed, would you want to smack him to get him to stop.[I'm American, and not sure if you mean "mate" as partner or friend here) It sounds like he's being a tad abusive, but masking it as affection.
Say hello to him if you see him around, but dump him.
2006-12-29 12:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by webstoragea1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you try explaining this to him, 'Hey it hurts ok, and i don't like it.' I think your mate is a little immature and he needs to grow up.
You know you could show him this. It shows that you really care about this friend of yours by asking for help on how to tell him to stop this without ruining your friendship- Good luck with that. :)
2006-12-29 12:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by "*♥*Nafisa*♥*" 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is a sign of affection. Have you tried asking him why he hugs you so hard? My best advice to you is to tell him that if he continues to hug you like that then it might cost him your friendship.
2006-12-29 13:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by karenlm215 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and ask him WHY he has to do that? Ask him if he realises. Get him to THINK about what he's doing and then he should be more considerate. Just be careful that if it seems he has a more deep rooted psychological problem that you can recommend he get help for it if necessary.
2006-12-29 20:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the chump! He knows he's hurting you and that gives him a bit of a lift. He sounds to be very immature and gets his jollies by being aggressive. Lay it on the line. Either he quits it or he can find another mate to hang with and abuse.
2006-12-29 12:52:19 · answer #8 · answered by Johann 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being honest & open is what U should do..ste up your boundaries now before..u end up becoming someone your not..then is when u will know if this is the right person for you. & being this topic of the situation..it's a piece of cake..stand your ground girl.
2006-12-29 12:50:37 · answer #9 · answered by J-LUV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him in the balls next time he hugs you that hard! He should remember not to do it again unless he's a sucker for pain.
2006-12-29 12:50:39 · answer #10 · answered by funkychick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him dwn 1 nite n exspalane how u feel and tell him he crushes u and if he still does it then u just have 2 tell him u can be his mate no more
2006-12-29 13:30:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋