Recently got married ( 4 months ago) and discovered that my husband has been cheating on me left and right. This is not the first time though. When he made the commitment, I thought he'd change. Yea, I know. It sounds silly, but I thought if I prayed about it, we'd be fine. Anyway, he was in Iraq a year ago. He just got back, and the women he cheats on me with "helped" him emotionally during Iraq and he feels he "owes" them and appreciates them, so he ends up cheating! Is it me or is this a messed up excuse?
2006-12-29 12:41:37 · 34 answers · asked by Divalicious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel badly for you, especially since you have been married for such a short time. Remember this:
People can always come up with an excuse or justification to do what they want to do, especially when they know what they are doing is wrong. They do this in order to keep from having to face and feel like the dirt they are, the immoral turds they are.
Never be guilty of doing these things on your part and do not be one of those who enables others by allowing their stupid excuses or justifications for doing wrongly to placate or satisfy you. For that is all they are, stupid excuses and justifications.
He has cheated upon you. The Bible says that is the only reason that you may divorce and marry anyone else and still be correct with God. Now, if you can forgive him, you are free to do so. Yet as much as I hate to see people divorce, I would have to think that there is little real chance of him changing or getting this right. I am sorry to say this to you and sorry for what you must feel.
2006-12-29 13:13:27 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually the saying goes, what happens TDY stays TDY, (what happens down range or on deployments) I guess old hubby decided to tell you the details. His first mistake was to get jimself emotionally involved with females in the first place. If he had some issues, he should have been sharing them with you, not his co-workers or whoever the ehck it was that he leaned on in this troubled war. He should have emailed, called you or mailed you for emotional support. Dah, whats wrong with him, hes using it as an excuse. At least hes honest, but get real, he owes you for staying faithful and being there for him when you could have been in the club partying or spending his money away, like some military wives do. (Or leave the poor soldier when they are deployed). Sonce this is his second time, you have to decide if he knows how to be aquaintences with female co-workers and come to you emotionally with problems, because if he can't then he will do it again.
2006-12-29 13:29:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a soilders wife as well so i know this one. Its a BULL#@$! excuse. Yes they went through some things that we cannot even begin to comprehend. But there is counseling on the base for that sort of thing. If the other women are supperior officers to his rank turn them in (they could get an article 15) go to his command and tell them they will make him go to counselling for the Iraq thing. DO NOT put up with that crap.
2006-12-29 13:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no "valid" excuse for cheating on your spouse. I was in a relationship with a cheater and only found out one thing, once a cheater, always a cheater. And no matter how much you love a person, you can't change that person. If he has shown no respect for your marriage so far, then what chance will there be in the future. No one "owes" someone that kind of debt.
2006-12-29 12:51:38 · answer #4 · answered by fman440 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, messed up excuse. I am sure you could have helped him emotionally if given the chance. Not a valid reason for cheating at all. I was married to a military member and it sucked. It was always "What happens TDY stays TDY." Not all are like that though.
2006-12-29 12:44:03 · answer #5 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl
I do not know either of you personally
but
it sounds like this is his agenda
shagging whomever is available that is
so
unless you think that you enjoy the humiliation sexually or otherwise
no judgments
but some people do
then you should really try to move on with your life
it is not true that all men cheat
some men are actually loyal and look for someone to belong to
If this is what you need and want out of a relationship
know that it is out there and seek it!
best of luck
2006-12-29 12:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by redseagoddess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats the dumbest thing i have ever heard if he really loves u like the way he should he wouldent cheat iraq is not an excuse all i do know is it changes them alot bein in iraq oh yea is there ever a good enough excuse for cheetin i dont think so
2006-12-29 12:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by im always coldddddddd 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you should never hve married him in the first place!! There isn't any valid reason for cheating on someone...what is his excuse or reason for cheating on you next time...he won't stop doing this. If you stay, remember it was your decision to live this way. There is a better man out there somewhere, I suggest you find him.
2006-12-29 12:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by klouise 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three words...lies, lies, lies. He's just making up excuses for his poor behavior. You were home alone worrying about a husband stationed in Iraq. Would that have been just cause for you to cheat with some man that provided emotional support?
2006-12-29 12:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by Apple21 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are BELIEVING all of this garb he is telling you? He will not change and he will continue to cheat and always have an excuse. I have been in Iraq for 3 yrs and I have yet to cheat---oh I forgot I am a prude when it comes to my "VOWS:
2006-12-29 12:47:11 · answer #10 · answered by nickle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋