I was engaged almost 2 1/2 years because we needed to save money and there were issues that we could not sweep under the rug so to speak. I know couples that have had 6 months or shourter engagments and I know couples who have had longer engagments? My question is in the world we live now a days with divoruce being so high, should people be enagaged longer? I know in churches engagments are a lot less than in the world, What is your take on this, I am interested in hearing what people have to say on this?
2006-12-29 12:21:08 · 29 answers · asked by encourager4God 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that keeping God in the marriage is more important to its success than the length of the engagement.
2006-12-29 16:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by hazydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my opinion for whatever it's worth:
I think long engagements are mostly excuses for not wanting the commitment. Basically, some folks see how far they can stretch a relationship with out breaking it. I say some not all.
Besides if you really love the person why have a big-to-do that is going to take longer to pay for and plan than it lasts. My JOP marriage means the same as my sisters $20K wedding- it was just a difference in styles.
As to divorce- there are so many because we dispose of everything these days and most people find it easier to call it quites rather than stand up, admit they have areas they can improve on and work things out. Plus, society has allowed divorce to be a common excepted practice.
2006-12-29 22:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes....without question. Long engagements give both the man and women time to see each other the way they really are and not just how they seem while infatuated.
Marriage...even under the best of circumstance....is difficult.
The more we know of each other before we commit the better both will be in the future.
There is a point that it can be too long. If it continues with no real plan for marriage there is no commitment and that is needed to make that next step and have a successful marriage.
2006-12-29 20:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I believe that is too long of a engagement and like you said in the church the engagement is for one year and than they get married hopefully you do not live with the guy b/c if you do what would be the point of him marrying you when he is getting treated like a married man without the commitment. Like the saying goes why buy the milk when you can have the cow for free. Think it over marry for love not for love to be married and that is the problem for so many divorce rates now a days. Big decisions are what you make of them.
2006-12-29 22:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts say that engagements shouldn't have a time period. Engagements should be the time that you let everyone know the news, make the preparations for the wedding and reception that you are satisfied with, and ENJOY the HYPE and EXCITEMENT of everyone receiving the news and celebrating. Remember one thing, friends/ family will offer to help, so don't think of saving too much. Finally, if you're getting married, I think all the secrets should come out and discover everything of the person you're going to marry. I'm learning all this, also. (I'm proposing to my gf for New Year's)
Hope this helps
2006-12-29 20:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by artmastercf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my guy two years before we got engaged. We were engaged for one year ** which was nice because it gave us time to plan a wedding properly. So...I am all for long engagements. I think over 2 years is too long if you have been living together prior to that. If not, two years is fine! It all depends on the situation. I give much credit to those who are engaged for less than a year, and plan a traditional wedding. It is a lot of work and I'm glad I had a year to plan it and think about it...
2006-12-29 20:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that long engagements, just really means 2 people have not really made up thier minds, I don't think people should be in a rush to marry, it's just that being engaged is the point, you come to when you are ready to marry. Dating someone for a long time is a great way to find out if you want to get engaged, but once you have made that commintent, whats the hold up?? Don't get engaged untill you are ready to marry.
2006-12-29 20:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long engagements are a a good thing to take some of the stress out of preparing for the wedding and married life. 2 and a half seems a bit much. probably a year is good.
2006-12-29 20:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by doomonyou! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole point of an engagement is the prelude to marriage. I was engaged for almost a year before my husband and I got married.
I personally think that long engagements loses the true purpose of what it's eventually meant to achieve....marriage.
But, the call is yours. Just don't lose sight of why you're engaged.
2006-12-29 20:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure it is a question of a longer or shorter engagement...
I think pre-marriage counseling where couples go learn how they plan to deal with finances, chores, problem-solving, differences of opinion, roles, religion, child-raising, work, etc. would be a huge asset to bolstering the marriage rate. If more people had problem-solving skills and planning, the divorce rate would drop. People learn more about driving a car than they learn about budgets, marriage, and child-rearing.
2006-12-29 20:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋