I was wondering what I can do to change myself for the better. I really don’t understand myself. When ever I get too close to someone I feel that I should break it off before they break it off with me. A lot of people think horrible of me because they are saying that I’m using them but I’m also hurt cause I really like this person. I always regret it because I really cared for this person, and they think that I have no feelings at all. Which is not true, its very hard for me to open up to someone. I need to learn how to fix this problem because I hate feeling this way and I don’t want to keep repeating this over and over again. Any advice you can help me on?????
2006-12-29 12:05:49 · 16 answers · asked by The Goods 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just stick with them, you will get over it
2006-12-29 12:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that there is no easy fix. Perhaps just talking it over with someone but not a friend could help. Can you see a therapist. Just letting it all out and finding out what is causing you to repeat what you consider a negative habit can help. Keep in mind that habits are made to be broken. Good Luck.
2006-12-29 20:09:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go and see a councilor so you can talk about the root of your abandonment fears. There is no quick fix. You need to think on a very conscious level about; what you want from life, from a partner and relationships in general.
To grow as a person it has been my experience to learn from both positive and negitive experiences. Read books, see a councilor and talk to a trusted friend.
Good Luck to you.
2006-12-29 20:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by vinyl_mad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tear down the wall you have built up around your heart....it's part of life to get hurt, that is how we shape ourselves on things we have learned....if you don't put your heart on the line how will you ever experience love?? You are insecure about life also, you need to just go after what you want and if it doesn't work out at least you can say you tried!!
2006-12-29 20:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by Floridapurrfection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a self esteem problem. Go see a counselor or look into a class on self esteem. Take one of the marital arts, ballet or whatever and feel good about yourself. Everyone in this world has someone who cares about them. Relax and work on your self esteem
2006-12-29 20:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by Mudder/ Gi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally know where you're coming from. I put a wall up to protect myself from being hurt. It caused my husband to want a divorce. I have started counseling, and you really need to love and have no fear. What have you got to lose? Open yourself up to the one you care about. If it causes you heartache in the end, at least you held nothing back. Best wishes.
2006-12-29 20:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I definetly would suggest seeing a counsler of some sort, it has helped me alot, or if you uncomfortable with that, maybe start with the people you are closest with. Start by telling them things that they may not know about you and that could allow you to feel less vulnerable overall and allow you to get over the fear of getting hurt.
2006-12-29 20:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by Packin it up 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, stop dating or bringing others into your screwed up self. You go and get yourself fixed or simply decide to have no relationships. That way, at least you dont harm anyone else.
They have no responsibility to help you with this, to understand, to fix it, to anything. You are a grown person. You get fixed. If it doesnt work or you cant, then at least stop hurting others.
2006-12-29 20:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are distressed because it is hard for you to get close to poeple. I think my brother has a similar prob. Peeps think he just uses them cuz he has trouble opening up, when it could not be further from the truth. Be patient with yourself, and i am sure that you will find those willling to be patient with you.
2006-12-29 20:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by doomonyou! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communication is the most important key in any relationship. be open and honest with your thoughts, feelings and ideas. being closed up will ruin any relationship and you will have problems until you can change it. talk @ anything, likes,dislikes, movies, whatever this is the key to learning about each other and being able to get along
2006-12-29 20:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by Kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know that these actions of urs are due to things that happened to u in the past!! i understand whatur going through but u have to learn that no two people are alike . life i slife u cant expect to not get hurt becasue such is life. but dont let the past hurt ur future , its hard but give it a try ,learnt o love moregive that special person achance
2006-12-29 20:08:47 · answer #11 · answered by i am a very sweet n honest girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋