I don't know but, I think I'm gay. Any help?

Question

Here has what I've been experiencing...

I've been having all these feelings for quite a long, long time.

1. I look at guys more than I do girls, almost 100% of the time
2. I imagine myself with a feminine/unisex hairstyle(cause I can't stand guy haircuts) - And I want one, BADLY.
3. I imagine myself in tight clothin - And I want too, BADLY.
4. I imagine myself with earrings - And I want them, BADLY.
5. I hate sports, can't stand to play or hear about it
6. I like looking at Japanese boy's love (fictional) comics (yaoi)

What am I?

If I am gay or something else, how can I tell my parents that I want to have earrings, tight clothing and feminine hair and other stuff?

Please help.

I'm a male, 18, by the way.

Answer 1

Sure, you're probably gay. But you can't just blurt this out to your parents and expect them to assimilate this new information effortlessly. See how confused you are right now? Well, don't expect them to handle it any faster than you do.

By the way, how old are you?

Answer 2

I think you're gay, however I want you to note that it has NOTHING to do with the ear piercing issue or hating sports or liking unisex hair.

I used to pierce ears, and almost 99% of our guys getting pierced were VERY straight. My ex boyfriend is straight as a rod and hated sports with a firey passion, and my experiance has been that guys with longer hair mostly do so because many women LOVE long hair on guys.

And I'm not sure what the tight clothing has to do with anything. None of the gay men I know wear particularly tight clothing. Do you have a job? If not, can you get one? Get a job and start buying your own clothes. Buy them as tight as you want, even if you only wear them around the house. If your parents ask, say "It's the fashion". Parents are dumb and will probably believe you.

I think you're gay because of #1 and #6.

Before you tell your parents, FIGURE YOURSELF OUT. Seriously, that is the most important piece of advice. Don't tell them you think you're gay or might be gay or bi. Only tell them when you are 100% sure you are 100% gay.

Meanwhile say that you want to get your ears pierced. Just about every guy rock star or hip hop artist or rapper has pierced ear or ears now, so it is definately not a gay thing. If they say no, suck it up and wait until you're 18. It sucks, but I've seen what happens when people pierce themselves and it goes wrong, and trust me, you do not want that.

Also, realize that healthy real gay relationships are NOTHING like most yaoi. I've noticed that most of the tension in yaoi comes from 1) the power imbalence between the guys such as older guy and younger guy and/or 2) there is this crap about how they aren't really gay, they just LUV each other. All that is bullshit. There is nothing wrong with reading yaoi, but don't let it shape your expectations of normal relationships. Its like women who use soap operas to base their idea of normal relationships... it only ends in badness.

Read up about gayness and gay issues. I would start with "Am I Blue?" which is a collection of essays by gay teens by Marion Dane Bauer. Then I would start working on this checklist by Joe Kort: http://www.joekort.com/articles60.htm

Answer 3

#1 and maybe #6 are the only two things that indicate that you may be gay.

Lots of straight guys have unisex haircuts, while there are buzzcut gays
Lots of straight guys wear tight clothing while there are urban gays
Far more straight than gay boys have earrings
More males or all preferences hate sports (from the sense of playing them) than love them, and far more ignore them

So

You are sexually attracted to guys (which is what you mean by you "look at" them.
You like reading comics that are, I gather, about gay relationships -- I've never even heard of them, but that's what I think you are saying they are.

Well -- you may well be gay. If you are, then accept yourself. You don't have to come out to others until you are ready to, but you should come out to yourself. If you are gay, that's fine. You should be going to college in a few months, where are you going? Pick a school in the Northeast by preference, or in Cali, as a third choice the Upper midwest has some nice schools (I'm presuming you are American here). If you are not comfy telling your parents you may be gay -- don't. Go to school, join the gay / straight alliance or the glbt group on campus, find out where in the city you are in the gay clubs are, maybe join gay social groups that do things other than dance -- make friends -- you will be surprised to find out how happy you can be.

Contrary to what you think, gays and lesbians are quite happily integrated in most areas of the aforementioned geographic regions. Think about it. If you need or want to talk, contact me by email at [e-mail] . I would be glad to talk to you or just listen if that's what you need me to do.

Do NOT destroy yourself, try to crush it down (doesn't work but will make you very unhappy), or get depressed and do something stupid. You are WONDERFUL just as you are, and a huge number of people know that. You are worth loving yourself and being loved by others -- just as you are.

*hug*

Kindest thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Nothing except for the looking at guys really give a clue to what your sexuality may be. If these are sexual feelings you are having when looking at guys, you're most likely gay. All you have to tell your parents for now id that you want to get ear rings, different clothes and a new hair cut.

Answer 5

If you look at guys more than girls, and you can imagine yourself being romantically involved with men, then sure you may be gay. As far as wanting to wear feminine attire (clothes, hairstyle, etc.)
does not reflect sexual identity. Do you sometimes feel as if you are a women trapped inside of a man's body? That could be a possibility as well. Good luck.

Answer 6

Just be honest with yourself about your like, dislikes, and desires, and the truth will reveal itself to you eventually.

Answer 7

yeah ur gay
way to go
go 4 it

Answer 8

if you find other males attractive and want to be with them, then you're gay

Answer 9

nah..you just like to cross dress don't tell ur parents anything till you are sure

Answer 10

gay