it is so rude, yet i am constantly catching people staring at me throughout the day at work. I have to carry myself very professionally, because I am a nurse, so i can't just make some funny face or be rude about it. I am constantly standing at a med cart in the middle of the hallway, always hard at work, and people will literally sit in a chair and watch me work. it bothers the heck out of me. they are adults, men, and women, families, residents, patients, housekeepers... I don't want to be rude, but I am really starting to lose patience!! I am a minority (asian) and 25 y/o, working in a place that is predominantly, but not entirely white, and over 40. I am the youngest nurse where I work. People tell me that I am pretty, and I always respond appropriately and politely. Sometimes I think it would be better if I just ugly myself down. I wear lose fitting scrubs everyday and no make up and i put my hair up everyday. How do I make them stop starring?!?!?!
2006-12-29 11:10:12 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thank you kaiyas_mom07. It's the same few people everyday who stare, not just some people passing by wondering what the heck I'm doing. So its way beyond the curiosity level. THey are looking directly at me, and when I look them back in the eye, they look away. To the comment about focusing on my meds, its a little different when you are a med nurse, and this is what you do 8 hours a day, all day , everyday. The staring gets old. The pretty factor does not even matter. I don't think even the most gorgeous girl in the world would appreciate being stared at all day while she is trying to do her work.
2006-12-29 11:56:55 · update #1
I work in a nursing home skilled facility.
2006-12-29 12:27:12 · update #2
people are always going to stare. i have a feeling even if you were white they would still stare. a lot of people in an area with a predominate race, always stare at the outsiders. My fiance is Korean and I'm Black, so we're always being stared at, and we live in a country hick town that's all white rednecks and world war two generation. (no offense just stating the demographics) I've found that staring back usually works, but at the same time being rude back isn't the answer or a way to solve things. My fiance and I have grown accustomed to it and just ignore them, but sometimes it's not that easy. You could try ignoring them or staring back and see how that works, but I don't think it will change. People like to stare and most don't see a problem with it so they will probably continue to do so. Don't change yourself to keep them from staring, because then they'll stare at you for the change :):)
and as far as everyone saying "get over it" and people not being able to look at you is wrong...whether it's petty or not it's you and how you feel. I'm sure if there was a "petty" annoyance to them and someone or a group of people kept doing it they would feel the same way. i don't like being stared at either and it's not a self-conscious thing it's rude like you said. looking and staring are two different things...i don't mind people looking at me...but if you gotta sit there ans stare for 5-10-15 mins until you are satisfied, DONT DO IT!...i agree with you!
hope that helped!
2006-12-29 11:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by kaiyas_mom07 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, as much as I hate to say this...there's no real way to make them stop.
In the U.S. people stare a lot, I know it can be rude, and they make a lot of eye contact.
You have to remember, they aren't staring at you to be rude, you're interesting to them. You're in an interesting profession and they respect that.
I used to be a CNA-certified nursing assistant, and understand the staring. You also may be getting stared at by the patients because you're at the med cart and they are wondering when their turn will be. Also, you despencing meds is interesting. Why? It's because this is something you don't see in normal day to day life. Again, they are not doing this to be rude, but out of interest and I'm sure would love to learn more about your day to day duties.
Sometimes the best way to combat the uncomfortable feeling is to smile and then go back to your work. Sometimes a smile can "break the ice" so to speak, and stop staring. Or, break the ice enough that if the person has a question, and didn't want to be rude asking while you're busy, it can ease the way for them to ask it. Either way, staring can stop.
If in doubt, ask your supervisor for ideas on how to make yourself feel more comfortable.
2006-12-29 11:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by Voice 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First, you can't make them do anything. Life is tragic that way.
That said, patients and visitors are one thing. There really is probably nothing you can do with these. The things you suggested for trying to "ugly down" might help...but as a man with a pretty good eye, I'll warn you...I can usually tell.
Residents and housekeepers are a little different though. These are your co-workers and you're feeling what amounts to sexual harrassment. In general, I'm a fan of working out your own workplace conflicts. A simple "could you please stop that, it makes me uncomfortable" might fix a lot of these cases. If that doesn't work, you might have to consider more serious action. Nearly all facilities of any size have someone in HR assigned just to deal with various types of harrassment issues. Try asking them what you just asked us, in a general way without naming individuals. I think there's a good chance you can get through this without having to look like a bag lady at work for the rest of your life.
2006-12-29 11:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by David G 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The problem is not with 'them'. It is most definitely with you.
You are a nurse, presumably in a busy environment. That's what people do when they are waiting about. They check everything out that they may be able to see. You are breaking the monotony for them. I do it. You do it. Everyone does it.
I think maybe you have a self image problem
You also seem to be edging towards racism, in your views, "I am a minority". What the heck has that go to do with it?
Just get on with you job. Your patients will no doubt be happier that their nurse is on the job full time and not checking out the genenral public.
2006-12-29 11:22:35 · answer #4 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it, be proud of who you are and that you can turn heads girl. Just have fun with this, I'm not telling you to flirt or to be rude but be funny, casual and a bit sarcastic.
Use this to your advantage, you are taking care of people, that might feel down and hopeless, so why not use this to make someones day. Well girl I don't think that you have that big of a problem, just be your self, and enjoy it now, cause later in life when you get older you are going to have a laugh by remembering these days.
2006-12-29 11:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are bothered by people starring at you.
It is impossible to get people to stop doing something as harmless as looking at you.
Therefore, the only thing you can do is to change your way of thinking about it so that you aren't bothered by it anymore. It may seem like a huge thing to you, but in the grand scheme of things, it's a petty annoyance. "It could always suck worse." That is very true! You should internalize that thought w-a-a-y before life teaches you that lesson. I recommend this thought..."Aw, f**k it." And go about your business ignoring the people around you.
2006-12-29 11:22:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you must be looking at them to see them staring 'I'm a nurse and when I'm at the med cart I'm concentrating on pouring the meds correctly .I'm only 24 and been told I'm pretty but I am not looking to see who 's looking at me I'm more concerned that i pass the right meds to the right patient at the right time maybe you should too.
2006-12-29 11:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People stare...big deal. People stare for many reasons...some good some bad. We all stare at each other. People are curious about each other. Plus hospitals are very boring so people who are waiting in chairs will be watching you work because there's nothing better to do. Maybe... they stare at you because their waiting for you to look away from your cart so they can steal some meds!
2006-12-29 12:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by Bengal 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Would you happen to be working in a psych ward or a convalescent hospital where the patients "seem" to stare at everyone?
Get over it! It's not because you're Asian, See the question on Asian women as a new beauty standard.
2006-12-29 11:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The best thing for you when this happens is to see your primary doctor. He will make an Urgent referral to a Psychologist as well as, Psychiatrist. He will typically prescribe meds. for moderate-severe paranoia and anxiety possibly Schizophrenia, Manic-Depression and Narcissicism. You might be a candidate for Electroconvulsive therapy and be heavily sedated with Haldoperidol. Perhaps it may recommeded that you should be put in a straight jacket as well as spit guard protector and be placed in a holding cell for observation for 48 hours. It is also important if you go to group therapy...you cannot let your issues get in the way of your professionality.
2006-12-29 11:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel T. 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋