My husband is 24 and I am 18. We are very much in love with each toher and would never do anything that would get in the way of our relationship or future goals. I started birth control a few months ago and gained almost 20 pounds. I had a horrible relationship with my family at the time so we decided to get married in front of a judge and have our wedding a year later. Since our marriage we have been able to build soem bridges with my family. There are still rumors going around that the only reason that we are married is beause I am "knocked up" and that my husband is ruining my life. My husband and I both work 60 hours a week and we go to night school,. Not only does he not have time to "knock me up" but we would never do anything to ruin our chances of finishing school. If I call my family out on this, no matter how nice I am about it then they will want nothing to do with me anymore. Should I wait 9 months and proove them wrong or risk ruining relationships and stand up for myself?
2006-12-29 11:08:41 · 23 answers · asked by nodesignerdogs4me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way I ma not pregnant. I am on my period right now. I am also on birth control and we always use condoms.
2006-12-29 11:16:34 · update #1
Amanda, just don't say anything, it will be more than clear soon enough that you aren't pregnant.
My first pregnancy lasted 5 years. His family and some friends thought the same thing of me and my husband.(nearly 27). We didn't have our first till 5 years after the wedding. I think it would be more mature of you, just to let them think what they want.
Congratulations on your marriage, and I wish you the best of the best. You and your husband sound like you have very thing completly planned out, and I pray that you both succeed in school. Remember to spend some time together, it doesn't hurt to practice getting pregnant. Make time for one another, even if it's only both of you on the couch with school books in your hands studying. Congrats again!
2006-12-29 13:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always better to stand up for yourself. If you don't you will regret it in the long run. You should not have to prove to your family that you are not pregnant. The best way to stand up for yourself is to live well. Finish school, have a successful marriage and a successful career. Encourage your husband to do the same. Maybe some people in your family are jealous because you have so much going for you at a young age and they don't. You don't owe your family any explanation. If you start explaining yourself now you will be doing it for the rest of your life. LIVE WELL AND GOOD LUCK. If your family truly cares about your happiness they will come around.
2006-12-29 11:19:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, rumors will be rumors and eventually time will tell them the truth. You cannot control what they want to believe. It's a shame though that the birth control pills caused you to gain weight and that probably help fuel the rumor a bit more. At this point I wouldn't even play their games. I would take the "high road" and let them think what they want. If they ask you if you are pregnant, say something like, "I was wondering when you were actually going to ask me, and thank you for asking, no, I am not pregnant, yet", and leave it at that.
2006-12-29 11:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by faith4ricknlisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose the person that you have the best relationship with in your family and kindly explain that you and your hubby love each other, you want to make a nice life together, aspire to do great things together, maybe want to have a family later, but "no" you are not pregnant at this time. If you want to tell them that you are taking birth control pills and that they have caused the weight gain, then go ahead and do so, if it will ease your mind about the weight gain and the pregnancy issue. Congratulations and good luck to you.
2006-12-29 11:14:39 · answer #4 · answered by golden_diva7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you have a very unsupportive family, but married at 18? Honey, I've been there and it's tough! It hurts to hear negative comments about your motives, especially when those comments are based on ignorance, but they are your family. I would try to let it go. What difference does it make if they believe that you got married because you were pregnant? You and your husband know the truth and that's all that matters. I wish you both luck in your ventures and I hope things ease up with your family.
2006-12-29 11:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by lolaj00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is ignore these morons who have nothing better to do than indulge in petty gossip behind your back. Come on how, you've been very daring getting married at such a young age to prove you're an adult. You and your husband are working and going to school and building a future together. Now prove how mature you are one more time and stop being guided by other people's opinions.
2006-12-29 11:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I was 18 when I got married, and my husband was 21. Everyone thought we were pregnant. We even had people ask when the baby was due...I would always reply, calmly and sweetly, "In about ten years."
It will take time for your family to adjust to your marriage. There's not much you will be able to say to them to convince them you're doing the right thing for yourselves. They'll have to see the proof of it.
So...love your husband, who is your family now, and ignore any gossip that's going around about you. In a couple of years your parents will start asking when they will get to be grandparents, and you'll be able to point out to them that they weren't very eager for it at the time of your marriage.
2006-12-29 11:26:45 · answer #7 · answered by Judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is indeed sad. Sounds like you and your husband have taken all possible steps to mend the relationship with your family. It is they that is giving you both the cold treatment. Don't waste time with them. Channel your energies to do well in school. Only time will tell if you're speaking the truth. Move on in life. There are more things to do than worrying about mending ties with your family who is not keen to do likewise.
2006-12-29 11:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the weight gain is a byproduct of the birth control and most likely by your description of your hectic schedule your diet only way to prove them wrong without burning bridges is time sweetie and in time they will see you not only are not pregnant but that you are also being mature enough to achieve the goals you and your husband as a family set for yourselves aand worked hard to get
2006-12-29 11:13:54 · answer #9 · answered by bretmaverick91969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would quit worrying so much about my family if I were you, because now you are married, and your hubby is your family. Seems like no matter what you do, they are going to make a stink about it, so let them waste their time worrying about you being pregnant or not, and just continue on with your life, doing your thing. Good for you for working so hard and going to school too!!!!!
2006-12-29 11:14:38 · answer #10 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋