I am 28 years old and am pregnant with our fifth child....yes fifth. My first child was from a previous relationship. Our second and third was planned. I got an IUD in 04 and got pregnant! After that I got the Depro shot and now I am pregnant again!!! The ages are 8,4,2,1 and due in Feb. I want no I need a tubal ligation for me. My husband won't get a vasectomy. No other birth control works for me, I am just too fertile. My husband said we just won't have sex. Yeah right that is a bunch of BS. I know marriage isn't based on sex but it has a nice size contribution to it. He tells they are side effects to the surgery, I know that but every thing now has a side effects. It also differs with each woman. I am getting this operation done with or without his support. I just don't know how this will effect our marriage? It is time for me to do something for me now. I may have to move to a different room in the house, permanantly.
2006-12-29 10:55:56 · 14 answers · asked by devk22 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It's your body. You do what you want with it wheter he likes it or not. You should also let him in on the statistics regarding the differences between tubal ligation and a vasectomy. If he knows how much recovery time is involved for you, he might do it.Make him feel like a jerk for making you go through that.
2006-12-29 10:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say get the tubal. If you don't want more kids and birth control doesn't seem to work and he won't get a vasectomy (which by the way is more effective, cheaper and easier to do), it's time for you to do this for you. If he has that big of a problem, then I would question his motives. Does he think your place in this world is to do what he wants and not what you want. Should you have 20 kids because he's too selfish to do anything about it. He sounds like he's acting like a spoiled little kid. What is his problem with you getting the surgery? Does he want to start his own village or what?
2006-12-29 11:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad he is being so selfish. You may want to look into marriage counseling for that issue.
As for the tubal, I had it done after my 3rd baby was born. I have had no side effects at all. We now have sex whenever we want without the complication of birth control and we are both very happy with that situation!!! He is actually happier with the spontaneity and freedom we have now. Maybe your husband hasn't thought of that part of it.
Good luck to you with this difficult decision, my heart goes out to you.
2006-12-29 11:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got my tubal after my second child. My husband really didn't agree but I just said I was doing it. He was a Truck Driver and was never home to help me and we were always broke. We didn't have insurance and the state was paying for Baby #2. After 5 I think I would have to call a stop to it. If he wants more and it affects your marriage, let him start paying child support, that will wake him up.
2006-12-29 11:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to break it to you, you can still get pregnant with a tubal or a vasectomy. I have a friend who had a tubal and her hubby had a vasectomy they got pregnant! Weird, huh. Maybe try getting counseling it might help to have a third party to work things out. But you should feel loved that your hubby loves all of you. Good luck with that nice big family!
2006-12-29 11:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by cliffhanger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoever told your husband about side effects of this surgery is mistaken. now, this is a decision that is best to take together but for whatever reason he doesn't wanna stand by you on this. you should have another talk with him and then take him to see your OB-GYN so they can explain to him. Enough is enough if he wants more children in the future you can adopt. Also there are no side effects with a vasectomy. anyway, good luck.
2006-12-29 11:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by dfalllenangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK ... you both need to talk this out some more. But let me say whatever you do don't get the "new Essure Device" really ... it caused me a lot of pain and I had to get a hysterectomy for my 25th bday. I am sorry that you guys are having troubles with this issue. My husband and I just came to the agreement very easily that we were "done" after we had our third child. Maybe your husband will come around after you deliver the baby.
And you really don't need his permission to have your tubes tied it is your body. Don't let this ruin your marriage... hang in there.
But please take my advice... if you do get them tied DON"T get the Essure Device ... I am the first person to have problems with it. Good luck to you.
2006-12-29 11:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by ♥just me♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tubal ligation,IVF (in vitro fertilization) treatment; IUI, ICSI and Laparoscopic surgery is very cheap in India. The cost is very low and the medical services are very good in India.
My cousin and her husband got their IVF treatment in India through the Forerunners Healthcare in India and is all praise for this company. She is a known case of PCOS.She is a very happy mother of a baby boy now. She just paid 2500 pounds for the full IVF treatment in India for which she was quoted 8000 pounds in private setup in UK.
Forerunners Healthcare is very famous in India. I read a lot about them in the newspapers. I have also read about a Chinese couple who planned surrogacy through the Forerunners Healthcare. They arrange financing for USA, Canadian, UK and other international patients who plan to have surgery and infertility treatment like IVF, IUI, and ICSI abroad for low price. They also have photos pasted of their International patients. You can checkout their website. There are huge cost savings. As a doctor I personally believe that surgery and treatment can be easily handled in India, as the quality of healthcare available In India is simply best in the world. The surgeons are USA/UK trained and facilities are 5 star.
http://www.forerunnershealthcare.com
Hope this helps.
2006-12-29 20:54:40 · answer #8 · answered by Charlie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you think he wants more children? Is his reasoning religious?
I think you should take him with you to discuss his concerns with the Dr. Some Dr.s where I live will not do the surgery without the husband's consent.
Good luck.
2006-12-29 11:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only side effect to my tubal when I had it was the inability to get pregnant. Other than there there were NO side effects.
2006-12-29 10:59:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋