What should I do about this family dilemia?

Question

Well let me be brief, I use to be bestfriends with my husbands' sister for ten year, but no longer because she tried to break us up, and she talked about me to him behind my back. I husband finally told me because (at this time she still was my friend) I was going to leave him because we started arguing about me taking up for her all the time, and he would not communicate with me. I thought she was my real friend. Okay now alot of time we have Sunday dinners at there moms house I go with my family over there. We do not communicate at because I wont it to be that way. I gave everyone in the family my sons' school picture except her. Is that evil and wrong. I didn't do it in her face because I didn't want to make the others feel uncomfortable. I dont like her and I paid for the pictures, my son banned my son from being with her because of the type of crowd she hangs around. She's 23 and she keeps comfronting me at her moms becaus eshe knows I wont disrespect her moms house. Help me!

Answer 1

Ask again when you can be brief.

Answer 2

Really close friends don't always see eye to eye on everything just like husband and wife don't always get along or sisters. Everyone makes mistakes. I think you need to have a girls night out. Go some place where you can get a cup of coffee and sit in a quiet booth and talk. Tell her how much she hurt you. Don't ask her if she really did it, don't force her into lying to you. Just tell her that you were just so hurt and why. She will apologize and you need to accept the apology. Give her the benefit of the doubt. The friendship might not be the same as it was but you can still be friends. She is your husbands sister, you need to bury the hatchet and move on.

Answer 3

Holding a grudge is never a good thing. You might not like this girl anymore, but she's still your husband's sister, and since you go to their mom's a lot, you have to see her. It makes sense to me that you rise above all of this, be the bigger person, and bury the hatchet with her. Let bygones be bygones. You don't have to like her or be friends with her, but life will be esier for both of you if things are civil.
You can even say that to her... You should do things like give her the picture of the son, not exclude her on something simple like this. That just adds salt to the wound. So you decide if you want harmony in your life or drama. It's up to you.

Answer 4

Well instead of acting like a bunch of high school girls, why dont you sit down with her, and talk to her about your feelings? I mean can ignoring her really solve the problem? Are you willing to want to solve the problem and be friends again? No matter how much you dislike a certain person in the family, you should never let your son, or kids see that, this only lets them think that family members arent as important as other people. This is your "sister", although its not through blood, she is still your family member, and no one should treat their family like that. Both of your need to be more respectful to each other, not just the mother. Like i said, sit down and talk to her, maybe this is one big misunderstanding... goodluck!

Answer 5

Deal with it. Pretty childish of you not to give your son's picture, now she knows that she got to you and everyone in the family knows your behavior is as immature as hers. Your son banned himself from being with her, he is four right, pretty self-minded four year old. I think you are making it hard on your husband and the entire family. Seems you are still with the husband. She was protecting her brother, blood is thicker then water. It is up to you to be the bigger person and make peace. Act like it is not a big deal, that should leave her wondering. Just start talking like nothing happened. Give her the photo. Do you really want to spend your life with this giant headache.

Answer 6

I would confront your sister in law with your husband present if possible. Tell her you know that she has been saying bad things about you and dont appreciate it.

The next time she trys to disrespect you at your mother in laws I would just tell her point blank this is not the time or the place for this. I have respect for your mother and the rest of the family. Walk away from her. Tell her if shed like to discuss it you can go outside or she can arrange to talk to you at a later time. good luck.

Answer 7

This is a situation for your husband to sort out, not you. His sister, his mom's house, his family, his problem.
By the way, how do you know that your husband did not lie to you to keep you from leaving him? Maybe he only pointed the finger at his sister to get himself out of trouble? If she was unjustly accused of stabbing you in the back, that might explain why she's pissed off and why she won't let the matter drop. Don't know, but worth thinking about.

Answer 8

that's a tough situation, but if it's really bugging you that much i think you should just talk to her, and if it doesn't work maybe get your husband to talk to her i mean the only way you can settle this is by talking to her and finding out what's wrong and trying to fix it even if it's not you doing it, just say that you don't care if you don't get along but let her know that it really bugs you when she tried to break you and your husband up and everything, there must be a reason why she's doing this, so just try to talk to her and just be nice. Good luck!

Answer 9

sounds like you have yourself in a pickle. I would try to make amends w/the sister in law. You don't have to be best friends, but just to be polite and gracious towards her. You've learned your lesson, you can't be best friends because she interferes and is back stabbing, but that doesn't mean you can't be polite, especially during family get-togethers etc. You want to make things smooth and easy for your hubby when you get w/his family. Move on, don't keep up the war with her, scan the photo and give her a scanned copy. Keeping up hatred is only going to eat at your heart and soul.

Answer 10

right this is the difficulty that confuses me -- you're saying you're a Christian, ideal? and that i assume you base your Christianity on the Bible. additionally, i'm continuously advised that the Bible can provide each and every thing we would desire to comprehend approximately ideal and incorrect. Sooooo....what does the bible inform you? in my opinion, if somebody needs to offer me something i want (funds easily qualifies) without strings attatched, i will take it. i want funds so perhaps it somewhat is area of it. except you're wealthy, i'm specific you ought to use the money for something, if basically to place right into a mark downs account if your automobile engine blows up or something. basically take the rattling funds and end over-complicating issues. Oh and if it makes somebody else mad which you have been given something, i think of that sounds like their concern and that they are able to truly decide a thank you to handle it. temporarily, i don't see this as a ethical dilema in any respect. and there is extremely not lots to think approximately. Take the money if he insists.

Answer 11

You're under no obligation to communicate with her, but it may be a good idea to invite her to lunch sometime, just the two of you, and try to start over from scratch. Tell her you care about her and you just want to start over. It will be better for you too and the whole family as well.