My wife and I have been Married for less than a year. We have been together for 3.5. In october she told me she wanted a divorce. I have led her to believe that I didn't want her in the first place, like I was stuck with her for our 2 children. I have asked her to reconsider, and to give me another chance. I really do love her and need her. She said she doesn't care anymore. She is tired of trying to make me happy. What do I do to try to get her back? She said she is not going to wait for me to change anymore and she is going to start dating again, she just doesn't know when. She says right now I have no chance of getting her back, but she is not sure about in the future. I wish she would let me have a little oxygen so i can prove to her i love her.
2006-12-29 10:09:41 · 27 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nice move......
I think she is testing you to see how far you'll go to get her back. You have to back your words up with some actions before she's going to give you some slack. Don't be surprised if she does'nt respond to your first half a dozen tries. If you really do love her keep at it..........unless she serves you with divorce papers. then you will know she is serious.
2006-12-29 10:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Romantic gestures are a guy's knee jerk reaction to dealing with this situation. When a woman has made up her mind that she doesn't love someone, it's done. There is nothing you can do and it's like sailing a sinking ship. My wife did the same thing but we were only married for less than a year. We separated in April last year and she was already dating a new guy by November last year. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Dude, it's going to hurt...a lot. But the worst thing you could do is stay. I moved out, I'm not even in the same town as her. I don't talk to her at all. Focus on you, you're career. I've been trying to get back into shape, learning guitar and I'm taking some time just to get to know myself again. Do some great things for others - help your buddy move, walk their dog, stuff like that. Creating some good experiences will give you some strength. I know that last November I cut over a foot and a 1/2 of hair off for Cancer Kids. I felt great about it. Don't get me wrong. I still think about my wife every single day and I don't think I'll ever marry another person. I may very well find someone but that's not a priority. Whatever you do, DON'T rebound. I know I have my really rough days where I feel so unmotivated and want to be alone. I'm not trying to scare ya but I'd rather you enter the situation with an open mind. Good luck buddy.
2016-03-29 00:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont know what you got til its gone do ya hon? Sorry pal but who would stay with someone who led you to believe that you did not want them and that you were just stuck? A person can only take so much before they move on. I bet she felt as though she was beating her head against a brick wall. Remember that what goes around comes around. You shoulda treated her better sweetie. Why would you make her believe that BS if you really love and need her? Doesnt make any sense what so ever. After all this you want HER to give YOU oxygen? When did you give her any? It just might be "too little too late". Always treat others as you wish to be treated. Hope you really have changed though and good luck.
2006-12-29 10:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry this is happening but what did you expect? She married you because she loves you and vice versa if you dont show your wife that you love her and play the role of the husband then the marriage is going to fall apart. She has stuck by you this long and has finally had enough and she is telling you that its over but it doesnt have to end. You need to open your eyes and ask yourself do I really want to be w/o her? This is you wake up call you go fight for her and fix this marriage and be the husband she needs you to be and the father your kids need you to be. So you go and save this marriage before its to late and when you do prove to her that you love her and want this marriage and you let her know that you are sorry for pushing her away. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-29 13:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you are going through. My husband has said the same thing to me except that he doesn't want to leave. He says he doesn't feel the love he use to and finds my character just too difficult to live with. We have been trying for a baby for 2 years and now find that I am 7 weeks pregnant but unfortunately we are not happy because of this. We have been fighting for a month which caused him to turn round and say he didnt love me as much as he use to and I am now in limbo. You, just like me, cannot do anything until they decide what to do. I sat mine down and had a heart to heart but I do have a little more oxegen than you do as mine doesn't want to go - yet. I think that is harder. I have tried reasoning, explaining, arguing - now i am ignoring but remaining poliet. If they want to do this to us just before new year maybe we should just let them go. Sometimes you have to let them go for them to come back and as we have nothing we have nothing to lose. Be brave and just sit back and wait. Tell her again that you love her. Ask her to explaing what exactly she is having difficulty with and see if you can discuss it. Tell her to look for the good in you that made her love you in the first place and then say if she wants to destroy the marriage then she will do because you don't have enough love to keep the marriage going for two. Thats what I did with mine and now I am waiting. Take care and God bless. I pray that God keeps us safe and supports us through this. Let me know how you do
2006-12-29 10:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I felt a bit like your wife is feeling last year and i moved out for a while, my husband was driving me mad, always moaning about everything.I missed him like mad though so we talked things over and i came back. He stopped moaning for a while but then went back to his old ways. I'm still here though and we get along fine. At the time i left there were a lot of other things going on in our lives and i think this affected how i coped with things,like the moaning it all got too much but after a break and when some other things were sorted it became less of a problem again. See if you can sort out some of your problems with your wife and the smaller things might be easier for her to cope with. Good luck to you both
2006-12-29 10:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by sundancer332003 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Then prove it, your words mean nothing at this point. You have to show her with your actions. You can do this without living in the same house. If what you say is true and you love her, then give her some oxygen and time to get her head straight. Sounds like you treated her like Sh*t. What do u expect. You can't treat someone that way for so long and expect those feelings to go away over night. Doesn't work that way.
2006-12-29 10:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by sweetness 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is so weird. I am going through the same thing with my husband. I feel that way about him as well. For me it's just that I went through so much because of him, and I've been hurt so badly that I just don't trust him anymore. It will take time to get to know him, and learn to trust him. I love him, I'm attracted to him, but I don't trust him. I did start dating someone else. He was livid about it. He even started to mildly stalk me. Definetely NOT cool. But he has a hard time accepting that I AM gonna get the divorce. I want for us to be together, but nothing but TIME and EFFORT will make that work. And we CANNOT stay married in the meantime as that gets under way. If he doesn't want it bad enough to start over, then he doesn't want me. That's how I look at it. I suggest you just listen to her. Be supportive, apologize. No more making excuses or laying blame elsewhere. I'm not saying be the fall guy, but accept responsibility for your part in the decline of the marriage and relationship. And try to get to know her again. Try to start over. It isn't too late. She hasn't started dating yet.....so YOU try to start dating her NOW so that she won't want anyone else. But don't push. You have to give her room...........and hope that you still have what she wants or needs.
2006-12-29 10:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is more than just a question here....3.5 years of a relationship is more than enough time to truly get to know someone...The questions you should be asking yourself is "What have I DONE to give her the impression that I DON'T want to be with her"? Was I this way when we first met??? Did I falsely advertise who I was? The advice I can offer is not meant to be a Bible thumping approach but I think you'd really benefit from considering the answers/definitions you'd give to the definitions of Love listed in 1 Cor 13 NIV. Love is Patient, Love is Kind, Love does not Envy, Love does not Boast, Love is not Proud, Love is not Rude, Love is not Self-seeking, Love is not easily Angered, Love keeps no records of Wrongs, Love does not delight in Evil but Rejoices with the Truth, Love always Protects, Love always Trusts, Love always Hopes, and Love always Perseveres.
Define what each one of those statements mean to you and give them to your wife...Ask her to do the same. What many men find out is that they really didn't know HOW to love their spouse. I hope things work out for you.
2006-12-29 10:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by Michael M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is happening to my parents right now.. sort of. My dad says he still loves my mom, but doesn't want to be with her.. I don't know how old you guys are, but we're all pretty sure my dad is going through a midlife crisis.. maybe your wife could be too. Sadly, he also said there was no chance of them getting back together.. so I don't know what advice to give on how to get her back =/ just do your best to convince her that your relationship is still worth pursuing, and hope that she is just going through a phase.
2006-12-29 10:16:11 · answer #10 · answered by Nyara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋