How can I get my husband back, if he has left me for a woman 26 years his junior?

Question

Our children and I moved from UK to South Africa to be with my husband, he had taken up employment here 2 months earlier. I had been in the country 3 weeks when he asked me for a divorce (no previous indication), he had met a woman at work and said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and thought he deserved some happiness. He moved out of the family home and in with her on 18 November 2006, they have since gotten engaged and she now calls herself Mrs ...... She is 26 and my husband is 52, I am 46.

I have two children who are torn apart. I don't want a divorce, but would like him back. But I need help and advice please. I will not divorce him. He wants a quick and easy settlement and for me to go away. I went to a function today where he was with his girlfriend, he kept suggesting very loudly that I get up close and personal in a sexual way with one of the single me there. This was very degrading and embarassing. Say a prayer for me.

Thank you

Answer 1

We serve an awesome God. I hope you know that. Read your bible. Right now he's lusting after that young woman.Maybe he needs to feel young again. It says it right there in the black book that's written in red, Thou shall not put his wife aside for fornication. God will not bless that marriage. Please dont run after him and do not beg him. Leave it in God's hands. When you see them together you walk with a high head. Keep a smile on your face at all times even though it may kill you in the inside. Miss you take care of your self and those children.Don't worry God will get him. Let him think he's happy with Ms. Tramp, she could be the run to run out on him when he's at his death bed. Stay in prayer because if you dont you will think about the hurt, shame and humiliation, while he's happy with that tramp. I will pray for you because I already know God will take care of this for you. You just need to know that with out a doubt ok..Then what type of woman is she to proudly go around saying she's mrs. whoever when he's not even divorced. You pray that God give her silly azz common sense because it's a thing called Karma!!! He may marry her and do her the way he's doing you.

Answer 2

You should divorce him. He is a pig, and i can't imagine you are still in love with this as*hole. You really don't want him back, he will just do the same thing again. I am very sorry that this had to happen to you. But i really think you should divorce him and get him out of your life as soon as possible. TRY to move on, and meet new people. He said HE deserves some happiness?? YOU are the one who deserves happiness, and you deserve a real man. I know your kids will be tore up about this, i know i was when my parents got divorced, but it is a lot better for them in the end. Kids can see when their parents aren't getting a long, and they know that their father cheated on you, and they will be upset with him if you guys stay together. I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time, i hope everything works out for the best for you, and i hope your husband is soon out of your life.

Answer 3

Marie, I said a prayer for all of you. Honey, he's moved on, it may or may not be a permanent thing. But if they are engaged, it doesn't look like he's coming home. I am so sorry that your heart is breaking into a million peices. Life is not fair, and it's not right that he has done this to you. You have every right to be angry and disappointed.

Don't let this man ruin your life. You can use this as a new beginning for you. Do you really want him right now? Knowing he doesn't want to be there, I wouldn't want a man if he didn't want me. Honey, you are worth so much more than that. I am 46 too. I would be terrified to have to start over, but I know I could do it. You can too!

There is a man out there looking for a woman just like you. Someone that would cherish and love them with all their heart. You just need to find him. Do something for yourself, take some classes, learn a new hobby, join a gym. Make some new friends. You hold your head up high, you did nothing wrong. Please, please try to believe in yourself. You don't deserve this kind of treatment, you deserve somone who loves you just as much as you love them. He's out there. There so much you can do, I know it's hard to realize that right now, but one day you will see the light. You grab ahold of the positives and them kids. You put one foot in front of the other, and let that man go. A friend of mine told me one time when I was going thru a rough time...she would come over and put a foot up my butt if I let my bad time ruin my life. You need some with a handy foot and a good aim. Please know you will get through this, and you will be happy again. Promise!

God bless us all..........

Answer 4

Oh boy, this hits close to home, not me but a dear friend has had to deal with a similar situation. She too wanted her husband back, she said it was like ripping out a piece of her. I sat with her at her 2nd hand table in a small apartment a couple times each week and just listened to her talk. I don't think you can really do what someone else tells you that you should do. Talk. Talk to your kids, talk to a really good friend, if you keep talking about it you will find your own best solution. Try not to be vengeful, but do try to think what is the best thing for you first, your children second and your wandering husband last. I wish you all the best in resolving this.

Answer 5

You no what you are one hell of a woman to want him after what he has done to you and your kids. If he wants his young thing let him have her give him a divorce take your half and you and the kids start a new life. I am sorry that he is putting you and the kids through this. If it ends I hope you find a great guy again who wont break your heart,that your husband still plays his role as a father to your kids, and i hope that his g/f gets fat and nasty and he realizes what he had with you and the kids before he chose to ruin this marriage. He obviously is letting you go and has moved on give him the divorce. I wish you and the kids best of luck and I sent out a prayer that you get through this.

Answer 6

went through the same 3 years ago, my ex also made up his mind, wouldn't even talk about it, i was devistated. doesn't do much good to want them back, as they see no value in us, and don't love us anymore. u have to regain your self esteem, face reality, and know life as u knew it is over. my husband also seemed to do this very quickly, but learned later on that this was an affair that had been going on for some time. my ex also met a woman at work, totally destroyed my world, i still have my days when i think about it, but not so upsetting anymore as it use to be. it does take time, takes time to get over the shock of it. just have to accept it, and see it for what it is, and hold your head up high and keep your dignity. time and distance helps, go back to the uk, know that this has nothing to do with u, and everything to do with the other woman, she sees him as someone who she wants to be with, without consideration to u. the romance stage of his new relationship will eventually come to an end one day, and he will see her flaws, right now he feels he is getting what he wants from life. just move foward with the divorce, can't stop it, or make him see reason, he can't hear u anymore. too bad he has to disrespect u in the process. get some therapy, perhaps spiritual, pain never leaves us where it finds us, just move forward with this, don't try to change his mind, and keep him, it will only cause u grief if u do. good luck

Answer 7

The reason you are probably thinking you still want to be married to him is your children. It is hard to watch your children in so much pain because of your husband's actions. However staying with him or trying to get him back will not help. Show your children how strong you are. Get divorced, stay emotionally strong for your children, and move on. Provide them with a stable home life and let them talk about their anger with you. It will help them to see you so strong and reliable. In a year or so start thinking about finding someone else. By then he will probably be split up with his younger girlfriend and jealous of what you have.

Answer 8

Why would you want him back?he said that it is over-he moved out now go to court and get child support for your children-give him what he want a anther woman-if the two of you ever get back together you will never trust him again-because he will dump you again for another woman-divorce him-remember that a dog need his tail more than one time to fan the flies-just remember that when you say that it is over (let it be over) that back and forth is not good for your kids-the next time you go to a function take someone with you a man and don't introduce him to your husband it can be a friend ,anyone-when he see that you don't give a darn his face will change-tell him that you don't need him to get you a man you can do that yourself and it will not affect someones kids-the next time he try doing that to you tell him that maybe he need to find out if that man was not his woman man at one time and you don't want her left overs even if she have your-give them your blessing and go on with your life-because one day she will get tired of him and he will be looking for you in the daylight with a flashlight

Answer 9

You don't say how long you two have been married but I understand how you feel. He is 52 and right now is going through the andropause, it is similar to menopause for women. He is trying to prove himself that he still can find a young woman. He doubles her age, so let him find out for himself that when that girl gets tired of him and look for a man her age, he will come to you begging and then is your turn to decide if you still want to be with him or not. Ignore him and be proud of yourself, you are still young and can find a younger man. Let him "enjoy" the moment, because that is what is going to last. Remember, "what goes around, come arounds".

Answer 10

What is your question about this? I would like to know how he can get engaged to someone when he is still married to you. If I were you I would cut my losses, divorce him and get on with your life. Any person, man or woman, who does that isn't worth the effort to even try getting him back. Why would you want him back?