How do you set up rules for discussing/commenting on gender differences?

Question

From my experience, I've seen that American women feel utterly free to make sexist comments that aren't well thought out, but scoff at men who make sexist comments that are well thought out. Most women & men just wink an eye at this tendency. I don't think it's OK at all, and I know it's extremely common.
I just got out of a relationship where the dynamic I've just described was very prevalent. I tried to institute a no sexism rule, but I was the only one who followed it.
Discussions about the respective strengths and weaknesses of each gender are bound to come up. After the no sexism rule failed, I tried only calling her out when she made comments that were not well thought out and/or were self-serving, but that didn't work either. How do I manage my lack of tolerance of this tendency?

Answer 1

You can't change people - deal with it. You know that but haven't accepted it on a gut level. People are the way they are. You can categorize them, cherish them, set up rules for discussions or not.....they will say what they want to say. You must deal.

Answer 2

After about two thousand years of male sexism and domination it is understandable why do women feel so free to do the same. Moreover, male sexism had direct influence on sharing the roles and taking the positions in society, while today's female sexism is limited in humor and still does not challenge the existing powers structures. Before, challenging the male sexual identity and self-confidence was a taboo, one of the worse things woman could do, but challenging the female sexuality and exposing her body to a public harassment, humiliating and reducing it to an object was or still is a way our culture functions. That is how I am explaining why women today feel so free to harass men but of course I am not saying it is OK. Explanation is not necessary a justification. If people involved in discussion do not respect the rules you all have agreed on, just remind them or leave the discussion by letting them know what were the reasons.

Answer 3

If what you said was well thought out & respectful, they should respect your opinion. I have been competing with men my enitire life. I was a mail carrier on street routes for almost 20 years. I've heard my share of negative comments about women when I was working with mostly men. I'm a good cook, but my male roommate is better. I was the bread-winner in 2 marriages. I hate shopping & would rather watch sports. I'm in a good relationship now with a very strong man who is also good with his hands (in both senses of the word). We take care of each other. I hope you find someone to compliment you.

Answer 4

I totally agreed with you, until you slipped up. The comment about women's sexist comments not being well thought out, but men's were.

NO sexist comment is ever well thought of, they are always offensive, ignorant, presumptious and just show a complete lack of intelligence and absolutely no respect for the opposite gender, which is the only reason the other even exists! Men and women need each other and should have more compassion and respect for one another.

HTH : )

Answer 5

I don't think that it's up to you to develop a greater tolerance to this nonsence. We live in a culture that thrives on belittling men. A man being slapped around by his girlfriend is used as a comedic device. Fathers are repeatedly being shown as bumbling incompetents with their own kids and have to be rescued by their wife. Husbands are shown as moronic dolts in the kitchen, unable to boil a potato without their wife's assistance.
With all this misandric garbage out there is there any wonder that your ex had difficulty not being sexist?

Answer 6

What you're experiencing is the direct influence feminism has had on the culture. Women think it's socially acceptable to cut men down...and there's no rationalizing it away because they, for the most part, aren't even aware they're doing it. Making them aware of it is the first step...but you might as well try to flap your arms and fly to the moon. Getting another woman to tell her is the best bet...but she'll probably just label the woman as weak and, therefor, not worth listening to.

My suggestion is to cut your losses and find a woman in another part of the world who hasn't grown up in a feministically influenced culture. Former Soviet countries are great for finding pretty women who want, more than anything else, a loyal husband and a family. You'll find there what you'll never find here...that's for sure.

Answer 7

How do you set up rules? As you would for any academic discussion; the evidence is the rule. You may attack another's ideas, but not another person. Nonsense, such as political correctness ans relativism are out. You are trying to arrive at the truth, or it's approximates.

Answer 8

The rules have already been set up. Men are second class citizens.

If this was a workplace, she can complain you cannot.

There is nothing you can do under the rules that have already been set up. The only thing you can do is limit your contact with this chauvanist. I suggest having a look at the 'popular' listing of articles on this site:

http://www.mgtow.net/

Answer 9

You don't. Best to just apologize or buy flowers. Your argument probably started cause you did something the day before and has nothing to do with you current argument. They think with feelings and logic has no basis in an argument with a woman. That is why they are always right even when they are wrong.

Answer 10

Why must there be rules?

The rule is, plane and simple.

When she is not home I am the boss. That's just the way it is.

O! You don't think so? Just give it time. You'll see.