For the past 6 years that I lived with my ex-partner, I would take care of all the finances. Now seperated for a couple of months, he still keeps asking me for money if he can't make it that week. He gets paid twice the amount that I do every two weeks and he has a part time job that pays him at least my paycheck every two weeks. When I tell him "NO!" he finds a way to make me feel guilty. Yet he knows, I'm fixing up my house and purchasing the necesities such as stove, fridge, washer/dryer, etc. I let him keep all the furniture and appliances and just took one bed. How do I make him realize that he is no longer my responsiblity nor obligation to support him financial while he buys his new girlfriend things and takes her out to eat at least twice a week.
2006-12-29 09:02:37 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell him no. remember he is using what you once had as an excuse to keep using you. you know you have other obligations that are more important than him. he makes more money than you and and he is broke all the time. do you know where his money is going to? take care of you first. he can take care of his self with his own money. you are not his personal bank anymore. tell him to grow up.
2006-12-29 09:28:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can only make you feel guilty IF YOU LET HIM.
It's his life, and it's his responsibility. You are no longer his mommy. He'll keep manipulating you as long as you let him - so stop letting him.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is no longer your responsiblity nor obligation to support him financially while he buys his new girlfriend things and takes her out to eat at least twice a week. Then tell him to not ask for money anymore, because you won't give it to him.
If he does ask again, say "I already told you no. We're not having this conversation again." and walk away or hang up.
2006-12-29 09:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have NO obligation to give this guy anything -- not even the time of day.
Sounds like a self-esteem issue. It isn't easy do just "get" self-esteem and quit being co-dependent. So fake it if you need to. Just tell him no and if he tries to make you feel guilty, tell him it's not your problem he can't manage money. Before you know it, you'll be a pro at sticking up for yourself. Don't let him push you around, babe. You might also want to quit having him help you around the house. Then he can't hold that over your head.
Cut him off from your purse, and cut yourself from his emotional hold. You'll feel good about it and that will lead to more good things for yourself!
2006-12-29 09:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Christina M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound just like me. I used to feel guilty for not helping the looser I am married to but I GOT SMART!!!
I used to feel like no one else would help him out as he made mention of Every time he called me for money or help as he called it. You can really get tired of the jerk always needing something when he has no intention of getting a job and helping himself.
I understand mine now has a new girlfriend (we aren't even divorced) and I am perfectly happy with that. Let her take care of his lazy butt and become broke very soon.
You need to remember that you must think of yourself first because if you don't he surely won't.
You man at least has a job and is spending some money unlike mine, no job, no money and now no ME!!!
I know it is hard to say no but believe me it feels great to say it now and realize just how happy I am since I've learned that simple 2 letter word.
Good luck to you. I will get easier on you...
2006-12-29 09:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by iwuzslickb4grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to ask his new girlfriend for the money. Keep that in mind HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND. YOU need to make yourself believe he is no longer your responsibility nor obligation. He is taking advantage of you because he knows he can. He will stop coming to you for money when you stop giving it to him. Stop trying to be his friend because a real friend would not treat you this way.
2006-12-29 09:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way..if you give him money, you are the one paying for his g/f to have things that you could have for yourself. For all you know he could be telling his g/f you're a real easy person to get money from, hold on while he calls you and she needs to get ready for a night out on the town at your expense.
Do you still feel guilty for telling him no??
2006-12-29 09:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not his mommy, are you?!!! Just thing about all the bad things he's ever done, hence justification for him getting what he deserves. He sounds like a little whiny wuss. You will be doing him and yourself and the world a favor by taking a hardline stance against this little boy.
And guess what: He Never Was your RESPONSIBILITY. YOU were HIS responsibility!!
2006-12-29 09:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by waltzorro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not making him realize he needs to stop ... its making you realize to move on... you must still have feelings for him if he makes that much$$$$ and has a gf and you still give him cash. Girl...PPPLLLEEEZZZ get a backbone here... I can't believe you have let this go on as long as you have... hate to be so hard on you... you deserve someone to look after you for a change.
2006-12-29 09:12:33 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get tough. You have new responsibilities now. Mainly you and getting your life in order and that means without him. It is nice to be nice but not when someone is taking advantage of you. Sometimes you need to let him go and let him know it Good Luck
2006-12-29 09:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep saying no and if necessary break off all communication with him. You owe him no explination as to how you spend your money and even if you made more, it's still not your responsibility.
Maybe he can ask his new girl for a loan!
2006-12-29 09:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by CAITLIN 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋