I am a 31 year old guy that is not ugly or goofy(in fact, my closest friends think that I'm pretty cool), but I am shy when it comes to introductions. I have a natural tendancy to approach every aspect of my life with the desire to do my best, but I trained myself to remain humble...no matter how good I become. I sink down into myself whenever I get a compliment.
When I was in my early teenage years, I was picked on by the pretty people (you know, the popular ones whose parents were obsessed with how well their kids turned out). These kids were the ones that always got their asses kissed. Anyway, I made an oath to never be like those whom I despised, and now I'm stuck.
So here I am...All these years later... trapped by my conditioning.
I know that it takes baby steps to start the path of improvement, and I am looking for the right stimuli.
2006-12-29 09:00:03 · 8 answers · asked by ed_rattle 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Please don´t change - I like the way you are!
2006-12-29 09:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by summerbreeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you ought to seek professional assistance or counseling to get over this issue. When one receives a compliment, one says "Thank You!" nicely and moves on. That is being confident without arrogance. However, you seem to be fixated on looks and who you might think is better looking or more popular than you are/or were. High School is over. Move past it. You may just be a bit shy. Being humble or modest is always good to a point...but you know that old song snippet "this little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine..."
Well be proud of your accomplishments. Be happy that you are considered 'cool' and take compliments in stride, and try not to 'overthink' it all. Good Luck and Smile!
2006-12-29 09:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by La_Liona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to you on this. I am trying to figure out the same thing myself. Right now, learn how to take a compliment (I know, I have a hard time with this myself) and be appreciative in your feedback and compliment them back. When being introduced to new people, try to maintain eye contact as best that you can. I wish I knew more but I am just beginning to learn and figure this out myself at 25 and having counseling (only have had one session so far lol). I hope this helps. Good luck to you:)
2006-12-29 09:13:39 · answer #3 · answered by rachee_gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe you were made in God's image and likeness. You are valuable and worthy, and have much to contribute to this world, just as you are.
Realize you are unique. Be a good receiver as well as a giver.
If a compliment is bad, why compliment someone else?
Admit your faults and get on with life. It's okay to love yourself. Without that, you can't be real with anyone.
No one is perfect, even those you see with false esteem.
Write those perfect folks who picked on you some letters, get it out of your system, and tear up the letters. Howl at the moon. Life is short, and shorter without interaction.
2006-12-29 09:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by pops 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing is no one can have real self confidence if they do not know who they really are. Only oner fourth of the souls come to the material world. (the less intelligent ones) this world is called Maya(illusion) and is temporary and full of misery. So what is their to be confident about unless you understand Absolute Truth. You are not you body, mind or even intellect yet everyone is so proud on some level of these things. go to krishnacultue. for answers of how to get out of this false conception of life and come to actual confidence, beyond the material temporary platform. Read Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada and understand the true meaning of life.
2006-12-29 09:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is by no means selfish or self serving to love yourself and know that you are good. You can not successfully give and receive love until you love yourself. And if you want to continue to receive those compliments {and whom among us don't} you must continue to give compliment and to thank those who compliment you. A compliment is a most precious gift and not only is it good to give graciously but also to receive graciously. If not you are stopping someone from being what you want to be and what they feel lead to do. Always remember the feelings of others in life and I don't think you will have any troubles in coming across as arrogant.
2006-12-29 09:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by Diana P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me start of by saying a certain amount of humility is good
for everyone.I always tried to fit in when i was in high school but never able to truly fit in and feel comfortable with my self in the process.What i learned about confidence is just be comfortable
with yourself and what you bring to the table.You need to be open
to taking compliments because compliments are the fuel you need to build your confidence.And just like compliments are fuel
so is hating(people talking bad about you)because if somebody
rather talk about you than live their lives feel honored cause their
waisting their time and giving you fuel.....GOOD LUCK
2006-12-29 09:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by michael j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to know (not only think) that you are the best without being arrogant. Why can't you be the best since it is the God who made you?...you are not less than anybody.
Love yourself for what you are...no one is perfect in this entire world, accept your shortcomings and feel proud for what you are. Think "I am what I am" and dont pretend. Let people know your shortcomings and don't be afraid....life is too short for worrying about such meagre things. There are better things to do in life. And one such better things is to feel you are special, special for someone atleast!
2006-12-29 09:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by SKA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋