I am just wondering how all of you deal with this.
I have been with my husband for 8 years, married 7. I KNOW that he loves me and that is not an issue.
He has a son and his son's mother makes it quite clear that she still loves him. They had a short relationship and weren't married.
She has kept his son from him numerous times and we have gone to court so many times. Now she has decided that she wants her freedom so my stepson is with us at least 75% of the time. She will not put it through the courts though so we are still paying full child support and stuff.
She calls him "hon" and tells him about her personal life. She once asked him if he'd have a affair on me.
Anyway, I just find it completely inappropriate and don't like it. Discussions should be about their son and nothing else.
He is afraid to say anything to her because she has such a history of getting pissed off and keeping stepson from us.
Any Ideas on how to appraoch this in a good manor?
2006-12-29 08:54:16 · 8 answers · asked by Heather 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she wants her freedom... and he is with you more then her.. I would document the times he is with you.. get someone to vouch for yous that he is there.. and take her butt back to court.. going for full custody and showing the number of times he is with you's compared to her... ( take this issue and how to go about it to a lawyer just to make sure you are doing it proper) and it seems that since you know she asked your husband to have an affair and it seems that he said no and told you about it... you's have a strong relationship.... and he isn't going to stray.. but I understand it must be frustrating having her throw herself at him over and over... and use the son as leverage.. I would talk to her... be up front... and tell her.. that you know that she is wanting a fling or to even get back with your husband...and that it isn't going to work and that she shouldn't keep throwing herself at him.. and using the son as a pawn.. a mother wouldn't do that...
Do you and your husband have visitation or a court order to have him at times? If yes.. then she can't deny you visits and if she is refusing ( or has been) you can bring this up in court too...
I hope it all works out for you... just keep the lines of comunication open with your husband.. let her know that you and he are strong and talk about everything... that way she might back off.... take care and hang in there.
2006-12-29 09:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by kAtTs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off since you have the boy most of the time, your husband can go to court and tell then and get physical custody and get the support either dropped or lowered. He seems to be to busy being afraid of this woman then using his back bone.
You on the other hand has lived with this woman acting the same way she always has and let it go on for 8 years!!!! You need to stand up for you and yours. Tell her off. I'm not understanding why you both let this woman have so much control over your lives. She needs your husbands money i know that for sure, is she holds the boy back you call your lawyer and he takes the woman to court...
2006-12-29 17:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to set up boundaries immediately. The first step is to document the dates and times that you have your step son, use this to go back into court and get either joint custody or sole custody. Then he needs to treat the relationship with her like a business. It can be hard at first but in the long run it will make things so much easier for you.
2006-12-29 16:57:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not much u can do, your hubby is afraid she will cause problems with him seeing his son, she is trying to get u angry so to disrupt your life, and create a wedge between u and your hubby. take her to court, get your visitation, she doesn't care what is appropriate and what's not. but i would keep a close eye on my hubby, as she seems to have an agenda here, and would think nothing of trying to get him back.
2006-12-29 19:04:35 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to back off thats your man .. she should have stuck by his side .. the son on the other hand is paying for it having to go back and forth. tell your husband that he needs to tell her to back off . if she dosent like it owell thats your man!
2006-12-29 16:58:56 · answer #5 · answered by honeybuzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ignore the situation,ur husband did his choice...maybe its time for u to be also a mother...
2006-12-29 18:37:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. It's between your husband and her, not you. If you trust him, then just stay out of it and let him deal with it. If he's not dealing with it, then you just have to live with it.
2006-12-29 16:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Drop him
2006-12-29 17:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by JamesC 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋