I've been with my husband for six years and until recently our sex life has gone down hill. I work full time and we have 2 children (toddlers). After getting out of work, dealing with the kids, making dinner I'm extremley exhausted by the end of the day. How do I make more time for my husband? I'm simply not in the mood anymore. He's even accused me of cheating on him. What do I do?
2006-12-29 08:44:07 · 11 answers · asked by Krystyna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Arrange to have a regular night out with just the two of you. It can be done, and you both should benefit.
2006-12-29 08:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by DrB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off..... sit down and have a talk with him if thats possible.
My wife kept it all bottled in and really did not tell me, she assumed I knew everything (I'm a guy, we're stupid that way sometimes).
Best thing to do is not get confrontational about it but try to honestly have a long discussion and pause long enough to listen to what he is saying about his life as well.
Second, both of you come up with a 'dinner date' or more if you can afford it monetarily and time-wise as well. Make sure that the kids are not along for this and also make sure that you have already had your discussion. Don't use this 'dinner date' to talk things out.... I know I'd rather have the 'somewhat confrontational' discussion at home after the kids were asleep.
Third, try to remember the time before the kids..... try to get him to do so as well.... If you have to, actually make that a REAL DATE by circling your calendar and doing everything possible to stay focused on preparing for it. That day should be hopefully one you can both control so neither of you is exhausted from work or whatever.
2006-12-29 17:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by wolf560 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I would suggest that you help him to understand that your worki is to help him too and to show him love. Many times, wives and husbands forget that what they mate does is in part because they are commited and trying to help the marriage.
Having said that, I would say this to you. You mate is suppose to be your first priority. Yes, before kids, family, freinds, business, anything else. If the kids have to wait a moment or ten, so be it. Your mate is your mate and is to be the top thing except for God.
I dont have to be in the mood for a headache to have one. I dont have to be in the mood for a bad day for it to happen. Maybe if you try, you will get in the mood. By the way, have you ever had a bad orgasm? I mean, you try and it is only good. That still beats none and it sure will make him happier.
2006-12-29 19:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't forget that he works a full-time job too most likely around people he'd rather not be around. Your husband has the enormous responsibility to keep the household going and everyone's head above water. He's being a douche about thinking your cheating, and it's something that needs to be discussed privately. Just remember that he's working hard as hell too and gets the same fatigue.
2006-12-29 16:54:31 · answer #4 · answered by C L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men just don't seem to understand that they don't always come first. I have the same problem with my husband. He wants me to do all this crap around the house, work, take care of our two chidren and then satisfy him. Sometimes (a lot actually) he just has to come last. Maybe if he'd help out more often, I'd have more time for him. Does he help out around the house? Does he help with the kids? He needs to understand it's not all about him.
2006-12-29 16:47:38 · answer #5 · answered by crank726 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem too. You have to make more of an effort in your marriage. as tired as you are you should try to put in a little time every day for your relationship. even if it is 10 minutes of cuddling before you go to sleep or a shower together before you go to bed. it saved my marriage because my husband was feeling neglected too and i have a set of 5 year old triplets to contend with all day.
2006-12-29 16:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by scornedgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UHHHHH, FT working fathers don't necessarily feel the same responsibility as a FT working mother. I think the idea of him having to get up get the kids ready, go to work + worry what to fix for dinner all day, come home--cook, clean, get the kids ready for bed, give them necessary attention and put them to bed, then clean again. Change roles; give him your daily to do list and he give you his and you guys switch for a week. I bet he'll be willing to take on more responsibility for that booty.
2006-12-29 17:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a sitter
if you cant do that
let him try being 'mommy' for a week and see how much he is in the mood after he walks a mile in your shoes.
Hang in there
it will get better
the kids wont be toddlers forever
2006-12-29 16:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by xxxxxxx b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him if he helps you with the housework you wont be so tired and the time saved can be better spent together,,he may not even realize you aren't superwoman,,they usually dont because you can do it all but we all know,,,something has to slide doesnt it and it is normally the sexlife unfortunately.
2006-12-29 16:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this might sound dumb start a nightclub they make a lot of money and open it on friday and staurday
use sarcasm
im so sorry i wrote that
2006-12-29 17:21:47 · answer #10 · answered by JamesC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋