I know he's cheating and i know with who. The girl just acts like she's still her friend. I don't want to break her heart but i know i would want to know.
2006-12-29 08:20:09 · 33 answers · asked by PHROGIN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this situation is very difficult, you'll be the one to blame in both cases - if you tell her and if you don't
2006-12-29 08:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by Yulia 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If you know for certain and you know where they meet it's time to let her find out - Cheaters style.
You need to make sure you and her run into the cheaters - face to face or at the very least put them in the same area and allow fate to do the rest.
Why? everyone keeps telling you ... "You'll be hated in the end" .. and "if they work it out, you'll be out" ... and from what I've seen they are right.
Letting her discover this on her own and being there for her when it happens to explode will make you a better friend and help save face if they can work it out.
Living with knowing is hard on you I would imagine, so take the heat off of you and the "should I tell her" garbage. Find out where they meet and let her find them together or the evidence all on her own, all you are going to do is push a little.
When she asks ... "Did you know?" ... you say no, but you always thought "whomever" acted strange around him. The white lie you tell her in the end will only be to help end this hurtful cycle and in the end living with a small lie is better than the "cheating bf" drama you have to now.
2006-12-29 08:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by What? How Much? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Type a letter that reads "HE IS UNFAITHFUL TO YOU WITH ______." (fill in the blank).
Leave the note in an envelope with er name on it on the doorstep or her mailbox when SHE will get it, not him.
The messenger always gets shot, so perhaps telling her straight-up may not be best. I have personally found that even though this isn't YOUR problem, the friend always finds a way to pin blame on you. For example: If you TELL her, then you run the risk of being called liar, jealous or a homewrecker. If you DON'T tell her, then she'll say you're not being a good honest friend!! Either way, you could lose. I lost my best friend once after telling her the same bad news about the man she was engaged to. She was in denial and we are no longer friends and now she's married to this jerk.
Most of the time, the friend ends up staying with the cheater, so don't get TOO wrapped up in this situation. She deserves to know, but stick your neck out too far and it could be on the chopping block.
2006-12-29 08:30:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Adam R's advice about trying to get your friend to a place where you know the cheaters are going to be and let your friend find out on her own. If you tell her then you risk losing your friendship because she doesn't want to believe you or, as was mentioned also, if she and her husband stay together then you will be the one who ends up being banished from her life. If it's not possible to set up a "chance" meeting between your friend and the cheaters, then take all the hard evidence you have and anonymously email or send a letter to your friend.
2006-12-29 08:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough. But you must think about how she will feel that no one told her...when she does find out. Her husband is no one she can trust and you as her friend will need to be someone she can. It will break her heart either way, you tell her or she catches him. Pre pare your self though that she may not believe you and she will be defensive and possibly not even talk to you...until she smartens up. In the end you will be her friend no matter what and she will wind up in a better position. You don't want to be the person who says "yeah I knew all along but I could not tell you because I could not watch you get hurt"....you left her out in the cold to find out for her self and that is a very lonely feeling.
2006-12-29 08:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write your best friend an anonymous letter which needs to include SPECIFIC evidence of what you claim. Make sure that you are correct when you do this since this whole cheating business is quite messy. After all, you would not want to ruin someone's life erroneously. Not letting her know what is taking place would also be a grave sin.
Take care,
Mr. M on "husband cheating."
2006-12-29 08:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard situation because most time the one you are telling thinks you are in love with her husband and that you are trying to break them up. Sometimes you still have to tell them though. Tell her if she knew something about her hubby that you would want to know. Then say I seen so and so with so and so and Well they are having an affair it may be better if you have proof so she does not think you are lying to get her man!
2006-12-29 10:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DON"T ! She may think you are making this all up and then all hell will break loose between the two fo you.. Now if you wanted to be sneaky about it ----you could have someone call the other woman and someone call the husband and have them "meet" somewhere and at the same time you take his wife to the meeting place and let her accidently on purpose see for herself what is and has been going on.
2006-12-29 13:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask yourself this, if you were in her shoes and she were in yours, would you want her to tell you? Just tell her that you are being a friend and you don't want to see her get hurt by that jerk anymore. Just tell her everything you know and she may get mad but that's a risk you just might have to take. If she doesn't believe you, leave it alone and I guarantee that the information you have given her will stick in her head and she will find out on her own. Just continue to be her friend and she will thank you.
2006-12-29 08:34:28 · answer #9 · answered by frakmomma04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard because sometimes, the bearer of bad news is the one who ends up being hated. If she is your best friend, then you should know her well enough to know if she would want to know or not. I personally love my best friend to death and if she was being done wrong, I would tell her......just as long as you know for a fact and can prove it..........don't tell her if it is just a rumor you have heard because then you will be the bad guy.....good luck
2006-12-29 08:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by dixiegirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're really her friend then you'll tell her. She deserves to know. I'm sure she didn't get married to be cheated on by her husband. If it's happening then tell her.
2006-12-29 08:45:52 · answer #11 · answered by blue_eyed_roo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋