I'm single i've never married before i met a beautiful lady but she is divorced and my friends around me advising me not to marry a divorced cuz i deserve a single one , i can't take a decision .... somebody help me , i wanna know what's wrong if she loves me and i have some feelings for her too ....... thanks in advance
2006-12-29 07:45:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look it's not a matter of divorced or virgin, you have to know why she got divorced and what are the real reasons behind this divorce , if you found her not guilty and she was unjustly treated don't think just go for it , don't listen to your friends because you may marry a virgin one and make your life hell , and remember that she will have the intention and the will not to fail in her marriage again, but if there were some known reasons about this divorce by her think well if you can deal with or not , and remember also that the woman whom experienced marriage knows well how to make you happy ..... good luck
2006-12-29 09:31:24 · answer #1 · answered by EMOTIONS HAVE NO RULES 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that matters in this case is do the two of you feel divorce is a word you will remove from your dictionary? You must learn how to work through any problems that come along or you will be divorced for the same reasons she divorced before. Marriage is not something you do because you love each other. Marriage is for the person that loves someone so much that they want to dedicate there life to the other person. Get counseling once every year just like getting a physical. Your marriage should get a physical and if it is bleeding you need to get to the doctor right away.
As long as you go to the counselor (before and after marriage) and remove divorce from you dictionary you should have a 99% chance of success.
Forget your Friends have they ever married a divorced lady? I think not. I have and we have been married for 11 years and the older they are the more they know about fun under the covers.
2006-12-29 07:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by Noka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorcees can and or will carry baggage into a marriage. You will or may have to measure up to this persons idea of past "ex" experiences. You won't like being a guinea pig.
A girl is innocent and straight and has no baggage experience.
If the baggage is bad, YOU WILL BE THE VICTIM.
A person with no baggage experience will be on the SAME level as you and will take much longer to grow any baggage at all, maybe never.
So, do you like used cars better than new ones? New ones have a better and clearer warranty, used ones borrowed time wear and tear. They appear good on the outside but can take you for a real trip. Once a person has been "burned" by divorce they just have a new set of beliefs in life and are less trusting than an innocent non-married male or female. I agree with your friends.
You could have discovered a real masterpiece of a woman if she is truly sincere and knows what she wants out of life. Take your time, get real answers to your questions from her. If she is true to her calling for you she will stick it out until you know its right for sure. If shes already pressuring you, well......I'd be careful and cautious. The most beautiful snakes have the most lethal bites...... So unless you are a snake bite survivor expert...... Good luck. If you choose her, I hope she truly is the sincere lady that she sounds like she is to you.
2006-12-29 18:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by HowFuzzyWuzee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the only hang up would be if she and her ex are on rocky terms, like if they still argue or its still very dramatic. But if she's been divorced for a while, this might not be the case. Also, if she has young kids, this could complicate things. I'm not saying the whole "kids are baggage" thing, but when there are young children, there may be custody battles or other disputes pertaining to them. But if things are pretty much resolved and peaceful, go for it.
2006-12-29 08:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just the experience i guess i have dated 2 divorced guys and one was really annoying about bringing it up and saying that's what his ex would do. The other not so bad except hes still hurt over it and never wants to get married again. So I guess both experienced yet damaged.
2006-12-29 08:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by hot mama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 19 and my fiance is 25 we are getting married in 28 days and he was married once before and engaged to another as well but the thing id that we love each other and that is all that matters. the way that i see it is if you are happy and you feel she is the one for you go for it the only bad thing is if you listen to the negitive stuff your going to second guess your self and you might make the wrong decision so my best advice for you will to be do what you think is best
best of wishes to you both!!!
2006-12-29 08:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with dating a girl that was married. You just need to know and realize that having been married before, she MAY (or may not) bring some extra baggage with her from her marriage. This baggage MAY or MAY NOT include a violent ex, heavy financial burdens, kids, etc.. I would say go for it, but just to proceed with caution. Good luck to you.
2006-12-29 07:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by [><] Rebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your " friends" should mind their own business. You love her, she loves you. That's all that matters. At least a divorcee knows what to expect in a marriage - a girl has no experience in the real world. Follow your heart - and stand up to your "friends"! (if they were real friends - they'd only care that you're happy)
2006-12-29 07:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only difference that comes to mind is Lady vs Girl.
The latter may be too young or immature to marry.
2006-12-29 08:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, she is single but with experience. You can't make a decision based on what your friends say? Heaven help that poor woman! If it feels right then go for it.
2006-12-29 07:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋