Trust Issue- how do I fix it?

Question

My significant other and I about 2 months back had a bit of a falling out because I found out that he was texting some other girl behind my back. Though they didnt do anything- they were going to meet up b4 I found out.

So we went through all the drama- and decided to try and work things out. He has not been doing anything behind my back and keeps telling me that, but I cant seem to trust him anymore. I always think he is dong something or talking to some other girl. I swear it feels like I cant trust him as far as i can throw him and it is hurting me. I let him know that. My tomach hurts from the dis trust and when he is at work I think he is talking to some other girl. I love him very much...he is so not the dog type.we have been together for 2 1/2 years and he has never done anything to hurt me up until th day i found those messages. I am scared that me accusing will chase him away and at the same time I feel like I need to watch my own back. withou breaking up- how can we fix i

Answer 1

You need to decide to either trust him or leave. You can not have any middle ground on this one. If you keep wondering if he is doing the things you fear, it will just make you miserable. If you keep accusing him or questioning him all the time, he will eventually get sick of it and he will leave. So either take the risk and just trust him 100% and don't worry at all, or tell him you just can not trust him at all any more because of the deceit and you have to move on and find someone that you can trust. Don't ride the fence on this one, nothing good will come out of it.

Answer 2

Honestly, you will NEVER be able to trust him again. No matter what you tell yourself, it will always remain in the back of your head that he might be doing something.

You keep writing "behind my back," so would it be okay if he told you the truth? I think that you are in denial. You said he is so not the dog type. So what type is he then? You catching him texting another woman and not breaking up with him or teaching him a lesson for his wrong, is no good. You didn't let him see what its like to mess with you & your emotions. Usually when a woman lets something like this slide, it tends to happen again b/c your man will now know that you will let him slide next time too.

For the record, if he really did stop, the only reason he did, was because he got caught. Like you said, he was going to meet her up until the point you found out. You have now made him more slick so don't be fooled.

Answer 3

Hey everyone one time or another will have some type of trust issues. Trust is earned not owed, he broke your trust by doing wrong, so in true he has to earn it back by doing good. The simply things can put you off or on. Say he says he is going to be home 8 o'clock and doesn't come home until 8:30 that is un earned trust etc. Also he has to allow you to go through the stages, just because you decided to work together and stay together he doesn't just get his trust back. Good luck

Answer 4

Girl you accusing him, your scared of chasing him away. Were you accusing him before you found this out. No,right? So whats the different if your accusing him or not. He still did it.And as far as you not trusting him, now you have that right not to trust him. He did that to his relationship with you. He lost his trust. And now he has to pay the price how long it takes you to trust him again. It can take months yrs for some people. But that's on him now. He has to suck it up. Not you. He lost the trust. Not you.The question lays in your head now, if you didn't catch him, he would of cheating on you, he would of meet this other person. So it's almost like you have to treat it like if he did cheat on you. But the the thing is he didn't.So right now you best bet is to buy him ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger you can start to fix it by reading this book.

Answer 5

Seems its the classic lovesick girl who doesn't want to let go of her cheating boyfriend.

Well sorry to tell you, but the cleanest and quickest way to fix this situation is to just let the bugger go. If he was going to meet up with some girl, that is equal to cheating. Only reason he hasn't cheated on you is because u caught him.

But if you REALLY REALLY can't live without him, go to a relationship counseling together. Either that, or just turn a blind eye to what he's doing. ignorance is bliss. Just convince urself everyday he's not doing anything. And if you dont' see it happening, why stress about it. If he really wants to cheat on u, he will. You stressing about it doesn't solve a thing. So if u wanna continue to date him, just dont' stress about whether or not he's seeing other women. Because all that does is cause problems for u two...and wrinkles too.

So either cut him loose, or turn a blind eye. Once u lose trust like that, its near impossible to get it back. And i know you want to think that, "oh our love is strong enough to be the minority that actually get through this ordeal" but you probably aren't. Sorry.

Answer 6

sure, in spite of the undeniable fact that it is not uncomplicated. First you ought to comprehend the jealousy stems out of your very own lack of self assurance relating to the relationship. Your concern of loss. as quickly as you get that out interior the open, it is much less stressful to manage. once you're nevertheless blaming the object of jealousy or the possibility, you're in denial as to the real reason in the back of it. i'm particular you're actually not polyamorous, in spite of the undeniable fact that it is a controversy they might desire to manage for all time, so as that they've superior extremely some on line ingredients, articles, etc to help manage jealousy. those might help you. under is a link to the definition, and finding the internet for polyamory and jealousy ought to get you to extremely some the ingredients. of direction a counselor is likewise a good source, yet that does fee money. If the jealousy is threatening the relationship, then I do propose couples counseling.

Answer 7

When it comes to trust, you have to remember that someone has to give you a reason not to trust them. In time you'll get your trust back. Part of trusting, of course, is having a little faith in the person. Most of it, however, is their behavior and how they actually treat you and how they behave in the context of the relationship. You will start to relax and trust more and more as time goes on. Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

trust is the hardest thing to get back, once lost. u just have to trust him, and pray he doesn't let u down. can't constantly worry about it, if u want to keep him. if he has never done this before, than move on and focus on repairing the damage, and regaining the trust. he didn't leave u, he is still there, which means he wants to be with u.

Answer 9

sometimes there is nothing that you can do when you lose trust in someone. your accusing him should not drive him away because if he really cared and wanted to salvage your relationship, he would do anything to show you that he is sorry and that it will never happen again. you are acting as if not trusting him is your fault. he's the one that messed up, let him solve your trust issues by showing you that you can trust him again.

Answer 10

no trust no love. you going to marry a man you don't trust. bring him home to your mom and dad and tell them he was texting another woman behind your back and let them made up their own mind.

Ya that's what I think too. find a bo that will warship ya. not play ya like a fool