First, I am by no means religious but I am indeed very spiritual. or a while now, I've seen my friends get used by men and I've had male friends who speak on how women use them just to get what they want.
Now, I've started to see many things from a totally different prospective -- maybe its because my birthday just past or maybe I'm just getting more mature personally.
Anyway, I've grown tried of meeting men who always want sexual relations too soon for my comfort -- when I ask them to wait they get frustrated and walk away (go riddance) or they pressure me even me and I've had all that I can take.
Now, this is the scary part of all this ... How do I find a guy that will actaully respect this? Most men want sex before a serious relationship starts ... let alone marriage. What should I do ?????
2006-12-29 07:17:09 · 23 answers · asked by rosie768 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From where I'm from, I see so many girls that seem to literally sell their bodies to these random guys jut for the sake of being on his presence.
I really disagree with the fact that I;m expected to act like a call girl in today's world and I'm not going to do it.
2006-12-29 07:18:56 · update #1
You all are awesome for all the responses. Ummm, I would be very uncomfortable if the guy 'm dating decides to sleep with other people while still with me. Yes, I would take that extremely personal and I'd end the relationship. Plus, people get diseases too quickly nowadays, so the whole MULTIPLE partners thing is a big no no .......
2006-12-29 07:27:41 · update #2
Kel One Up
I don't really want sex with a guy until we are in a serious relationship that will lead to a stable marriage -- almost like courting. Of course I'll make love with a man if I know he will be my husband and I will be his wife.
I guess another reason I decided to change was because my ex-boyfriend -- that I broke up with 8 monthes ago just had a baby by another woman in November ... so that means that he we seeing her and me at the same time. UGH! How disgusting and how completely disrespectful to the both of us. He is a terrible man and I'm glad not to be with him anymore.
2006-12-29 07:39:20 · update #3
seriously he will respect you more if you hold on to your virgnty and will be more meaning ful int he end . dont lket them talk you into it , i know some guys that acctualy find that girls who do it before marriage or atleast until they get into a serious relationship are unattractive an desprate and easy.
2006-12-29 07:21:40 · answer #1 · answered by carebear_destroyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step 1 is to understand your rules... is it no sex before marriage or no sex before a serious relationship starts....
Step 2 is to define sex... will you kiss him? is there a middle ground? Is it the Clintonian definition of sex or all act and actions?
Step 3 is to lay this out to a guy at the right time... i.e. before you've already offended him and after he's had a chance to get to know you as a person.
My friend just got married, at 35, still a virgin but having had several extended and fulfilling relationships in the years that preceded her vows. You can do it too, if you're fair and up front with guys.
2006-12-29 07:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ketel One Up 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you date Christian men you shouldn't encounter this problem as much. I believe there are some good Christian dating sites out there. Or, if you are dating someone you think might be a keeper, just tell them up front of your decision to not have a sexual relationship until you're ready - which may be quite a while. If he's a nice guy and is serious about being with you he'll wait, otherwise no loss.
I'm with you on this issue, I am sick of guys that seem to think that having sex is what dating is all about.
2006-12-29 07:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm Srilankan and in my culture we can't have sex before marriage and I go through the same issues as you. I feel however that who ever you do meet and marry will respect you more because then you aren't 'used' and are still 'fresh' and that will serve you in the long run. Don't worry, this is the best way to sift through the trash and the keepers and you will eventually meet a guy that respect that decision. Anyway, a relationship based on sex isn't substantial.
2006-12-29 07:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by surani_ud 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm proud of you and your mature decision.
The guys ARE out there who would prefer a woman for who they are, not what they can do for sex.
Try visiting some nearby churches and attend intellectual meetings (ie, book discussion groups, business owner groups, etc). Also, enroll in college/graduate school and take some classes in something you're interested in. Also, when was the last time you were in a position to meet the right guy? Do you work in an uptown business environment?
DONT SETTLE for less than what you're really worth.
2006-12-29 07:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep dating. Eventually you will meet a guy and you will both decide at about the same time that you want to have sex with each other. Then the real realtionship starts. Until then, just say "goodbye" to the ones that push you to do things you aren't ready to do. They aren't worth keeping around.
2006-12-29 07:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just hang in there! There are some nice, good guys out there. I was one of them (I'm married now) and dated a girl for 3 years w/o having sex. If a guy was raised right and has a good family situation himself, he'll respect your wishes and let it be until your ready. If he doesn't, you don't want him anyway, so move on. Good luck to you.
2006-12-29 07:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by [><] Rebel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you said, these guys really aren't worth it if all they want is sex.
Maybe you need to start looking for a completely different kind of guy to change the outcome of the relationship.
I think it is great, though, to stand apart from what may be the "social norm" and do what is right for you.
2006-12-29 07:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by teel2624 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it. I'm not saying sex is something to be pressured into either, but I could never marry someone without sleeping with them first. What if you are totally incompatible in bed? That can be a major issue in a marriage and causes many divorces.
2006-12-29 07:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, you tell your dates exactly where you stand...and you don't give up until you've found a guy with the same high standards as you.
You are to be commended. I'm no prude, but it disturbs me the way very young girls are willing to engage in sex just to impress boys with their "worldliness". It's so refreshing to see a young woman with self-respect.
2006-12-29 07:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋