the things that prevent people from getting married, the things married people are afraid will happen, the problems and challenges whether real or imagined facing married couple. I'd like a top ten list, and some explanations of why they are scary please.
2006-12-29 07:01:42 · 22 answers · asked by dude 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. Loss of autonomy--you can NEVER just do what you want without explanations
2. Financial issues--you have to negotiate every major money decision with someone else
3. Sexual incompatiblity--what if he/she decides sex is unnecessary? What if they want it 24/7?
4. Differing attitudes towards childrearing--one of you is tough, the other is lenient.
5. SELFISHNESS--no one else matters but YOU! Not a nice way to live as a family
6.boredom--same old thing every day--especially if the spouse gets into a rut about how to live
7. Changing--both people will change, and sometimes they change in opposite directions.
8. Bad habits--anything that's mildly annoying in a dating situation will probably drive you CRAZY once you get married
9. Bad role models--check out your potential mate's parents, especially the one of the same sex. Your husband WILL turn into his dad. Your wife WILL turn into her mother. Not 100%, but about 80%. Can you live with that burping, sullen, cranky, sour faced man? Can you live with that cranky, TV addicted, potbellied woman?
10. Totally unforeseen events: He gets laid off from that six figure job and you are living on your waitress salary. She develops a thyroid disease and gains 100 lbs. You have a really sick baby. One of you has a chronic illness. One of you has a nervous breakdown. Life is harder than anyone told you it would be.
By the way, I could write just as scary a list about NOT getting married. LIFE IS SCARY. Do the best you can.
2006-12-29 07:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Top Ten:
1. Will I love him/her forever?
2. Am I going to be able to accept the differences?
3. Am I going to commit myself 110% to the relationship, even when I feel that I want out.
4. Respect-- what will you do to maintaining that ALL the time!
5. Trust - No doubt in your mind about anything, if there is the slightest doubt, it will not work.
6. How, and who will handle the finances? have an understanding?
7. Basic rules on what will be okay with both. (example: okay to go out with friends. If so, what time to be home, no cursing, arguments are take place behind closed doors) I think this is vital because if you set these down from day one, you will stick with them. And remind each other of them.
8. Discuss what you liked and disliked about your parents relationship. What would you want to mimic or change.
9. Goals
10. Never sleep on the couch, regardless of how mad you are. You are choosing to marry this person through thick and thin. So no matter how upset you are, you are sleeping in the same bed! (of course try to solve it before going to sleep:-) My husband and I have followed this for 81/2 years, and it has worked really well.
Good luck! hope it helps.
2006-12-29 07:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things prevent people from marriage:
1. Responsible
2. There might be someone else better out there
Things married people are afraid will happen, problems and challenge:
1. Fight about money
2. Fight about in-laws and children
3. Changes in him or her (Usually due to higher expectation after marriage in both parties... )
4. Mis communication and fight for NOTHING (Couple tends to think that the partner can read their mind, and usually not)
5. Grow in different direction (This will cause divorce) and have different goals in life
For now... that's all I can think off.... Good Luck...
2006-12-29 07:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jo Jo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Will it last? (Because apparantly nothing lasts forever)
2. Will they be faithful. (I don't want a disease I didn't ask for)
3. Can they survive with their incomes (Food on the table, house, bills, ect)
4. Will sex always feel that good. (Some people just make it routine, therefore it gets boring)
5. Will the inlaws but in where they don't belong. (Happens to alot of us)
6.Having things in common. (Will they lose interest once you know each other inside and out, or will you find new things to keep it interesting)
7. Losing that person accidentally or naturally. (Having to bury your spouse)
8.Physically (cancer, health, diabetes, the will I be able to take care of them)
9. Am I making my spouse happy. (Mentally and physically)
10. Credit card bills (LOL.. I couldn't think of anything else)
2006-12-29 07:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mother of One 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will give you the top 3 for me (I have been married for 22 years)
1. Lack of RESPECT - without this you have nothing!
2. No COMMUNICATION - for any relationship if you do not have this you are at a loss.
3. Love fading (this both partner have to work on a daily basis)
2006-12-29 07:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by ppv918 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The scariest thing about marriage is that you are growing and changing your whole life and not only do you have to adjust to your own changes, but also your partners changes and preferences as well.
Cheating and money issues aside, usually couples don't last because they think that the other has changed from the person they married without realizing that they themselves have changed also.
2006-12-29 07:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In no particular order
1. Commitment
2. Money
3. Trust
4. Infidelity
5. Regret of not living it up
6. Family
7. Communication breakdown
8. Relationship going stale
9. Kids
10. Confusion
2006-12-29 07:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant do a top ten but
money problems rate high on any list
in law problems would probably be high too
a concern about the other person changing after the honeymoon phase is over
2006-12-29 07:04:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Loss of privacy
2) With children - the loss of your partner's attention
3) Loss of money
4) Loss of alone time
5) Having to agree on how to decorate the house
6) Having to eat same type of bad cooking
7) Having to listen to your partner whine 24/7
8) Dealing with your partner's children and all their problems, including two arrest by the police & 2 acccidents
9) Having to wash the dishes & do laundry to 3 very dirty little people
10) Having your personal items broken by your partner or their kids and your suppose to think it is a natural thing.
11) Having the constant request to take items that belong to you and them having no regards for your personal property.
12) Having the constant request for something new to be purchased
13) Having your partner share intimate information with other people (including the in-laws)
14) If you are sick - it no longer matters and you are expected to muddle through to meet everyone else's needs.
15) No longer getting the romance you use to get.
16) Getting blamed for pretty much everything
17) Having to take care of your problems and everyone else's
Can you tell I am having a very bad relationship day?
2006-12-29 09:08:52 · answer #9 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 Forever is a long time
2 your partner becoming fat and/or ugly
3 physical abuse
4 verbal abuse
5 sharing money
6 not getting to be with anyone else ever
7 marrying the wrong person
8 your partner's personality changing for the worse
9 how hard it would be to go through a divorce
10 feeling less yourself and more like an extension of your partner.
2006-12-29 07:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by Beth T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋