After some thought. I've Decided To Just Have Sex After I Get Married ... Now, How Do I Continuing Dating ?

Question

First, I am by no means religious but I am indeed very spiritual. or a while now, I've seen my friends get used by men and I've had male friends who speak on how women use them just to get what they want.

Now, I've started to see many things from a totally different prospective -- maybe its because my birthday just past or maybe I'm just getting more mature personally.

Anyway, I've grown tried of meeting men who always want sexual relations too soon for my comfort -- when I ask them to wait they get frustrated and walk away (go riddance) or they pressure me even me and I've had all that I can take.

Now, this is the scary part of all this ... How do I find a guy that will actaully respect this? Most men want sex before a serious relationship starts ... let alone marriage. What should I do ?????

I think the man that is to be my husband deserves the benefits of sex other then some guy that may stay long-term.

I don't know, I guess I've never been the type of girl to open my legs up to some dude ... eww, gross. And the fact that I'm being expected to now has beome frustrating and I don't want any part of it.

I'm really scared that I may end up alone because I don't want to have sex before real and honet commitment .. is that so wrong ;-;

Thank you all for the insight so far, its really helping ...

From where I'm from, I see so many girls that seem to literally sell their bodies to these random guys jut for the sake of being on his presence.

I really disagree with the fact that I;m expected to act like a call girl in today's world and I'm not going to do it.

Answer 1

Perhaps you should consider other alternatives besides having or not having sex. Many guys would be satisfied with some hugging, kissing, and heavy petting without it ending in a sexual intercourse.

The fact is that men living alone often suffer from sensory deprivation because they go for days, weeks, and even months without any affectionate contact with other people. And if you are going to be so rigid in your abstinence from anything sexual that you won't even satisfy a man's need for physical affection (without sexual intercourse). Then no man is going to be your boyfriend for long. And you will have trouble finding a marriage partner for yourself.

No man wants to marry a woman who doesn't like sex. And that's why you have to show your man that you enjoy some physical affection and give him a taste of how nice it would be for him with you, without going all the way to sexual intercourse. And you can explain it to him that you like sex all the way too but you've firmly decided to save it until after marriage.

A hand-job is not exactly sexual intercourse. And perhaps this should be your limit of how far to go. You don't need to have sexual intercourse with the guy in order to satisfy him.

Answer 2

1st of all, please allow me to congratulate you on this very mature decision. It really is too bad that more people don't make the same choice you have. There are men in this world that will respect your choice. There are men in this world that have made the same choice as well. The bad news is that there aren't many in either camp. I noted that you said that you weren't a religious person but a spiritual person. That's going to be your best bet for finding a man that respects and honors your choice for abstinence. Men who typically have that type of morality structure come from Religious/Spiritual backgrounds. I'm not sure that's what you wanted to hear but it's the truth.

By the way, should you find a guy that's reasonably close to what you're looking for, be patient with him if he has a little trouble with it. You know as well as I do that this world we live in that has no problem with hopping into bed with just anyone is a difficult thing to overcome. Good luck!

Answer 3

I think that you could definitely find a man (many men) that not only respect your commendable decision, but also share it. Sex should not be taken lightly as it is in today's immoral world. And besides that, it is risky to be involved with various partners...or even one who has had several. But, we all know that, right. I share your values/decision. I would hate to have the feeling of being used by a guy. It is something I want to share with someone I truly love and where we can grow together. A lot of people like to make guys out to be sex hungry pigs...but they aren't really. I think a lot of them just pretend to be because that's the way they think they are supposed to behave. But there are a lot of men out there who value the same things we do and want to share sex with someone they truly care about and are nott ready to jump on anything that has a heartbeat. Anyways,my point is this: definitely stick to what your gut is telling you, and trust me, you will find men that will still want to be with you and get to know you on a deeper, more meaningful level...I am saving myself for marriage and I have not had a problem with guys. Of course, you meet the jerks, but I have found no problem leaving them behind and finding someone else that I have more fun with anyways....plus, you can usually spot the jerks a mile away. Even if you think you like a guy and they pressure you to sell out on your real values or w/e...don't give in because they are not right for you and who is to say once they get you to bail out on yourself, they won't bail out on you right after, leaving you feeling used and possibly even ashamed

Answer 4

That is a great goal, stick with it, if they love you enough to wait then they are worth it, and trust me you wont have to worry about being used just for sex, you will only find good quality guys, and you will squeeze out the ones that only want sex!

Answer 5

How about deciding not to have sex until after you've been married for one year? Read up on non penetrative technique, and buy and USE a chastity belt.

Have fun and don't let them pressure you!

Answer 6

Your going to have serious trouble finding a guy willing to wait that long. You shouldn't give up on sex....just give up on sex w/jerks.

Answer 7

Let your date know that it will not end in sex. He can like it or leave it.

Answer 8

well, you can still go on a date, but just remember not
to have sex!!!