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For women who have suffer long-term phsycial n emotional abuse in a relationship. How do one begin to heal after leaving? Can you trust and love again? Will one ever feel safe in a relationship?

2006-12-29 06:47:47 · 9 answers · asked by CHERRYBLOSSOM 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

9 answers

This is a meditation technique I designed to help myself heal after an extremely painful divorce. Get somewhere where you will not be disturbed. Get a pen, notebook and in my case tissues and write out all your emotions. You can't deal with them until you know what they are. For example, "I feel abandoned." I know I sound a bit crazy but this really helped me. When you are done write them down again with some lines blank underneath. Then write the reality underneath. "He chose to leave, I cannot force him to stay." If you had a part in it write it down as well. Take the responsibility for your actions but put the responsibility for his actions on him. "He made a choice. He lost his temper. It was not my fault." Abusers always tend to make the one being abused believe they somehow deserved it. You did not. That is the reality. When you are feeling upset read that paper out loud to yourself. When you learn to put the responsibility on the appropriate party you will be far less likely to allow yourself to continue in an abusive situation because you will understand that behavior is not appropriate. Not all men are abusers. Someone WILL love you because you deserve to be loved.

2006-12-29 07:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Tink 2 · 0 0

speaking from my own past experience with a abusive controlling and mentally hard marriage for 13 years, I got away and believe it or not, it is hard but not impossible to over come somewhat, I have been divorced for 8 months and each day is like taking a new step, make plenty of time for yourself and don't try and find a new companion on the rebound. I myself find it very hard to trust and I have a lot of issues, but I take one day at a time and have found a wonderful man who helps me in every way, to deal with all that I have went through. You will find yourself comparing but try to remember not all people are so cruel and selfish. You have to remember that you are not to blame for someone elses insane actions and that you are worthy of love and don't deserve to be treated with any thing but the utmost respect. Learn to respect your self and gain back your life. make a state ment to put the past behind you and move on, and you really have to put it behind you, what helped me was writing down all the bad things that happend and realized that no matter how hard I tried I could never change that person at all, move on and keep your head held high, don't let that person see you and think they have still got control. Prove that you are a strong person. Seek friends who can give you support and don't mind to let you talk about your fears and dreams and maybe can help resolve some very horrible issues.

2006-12-29 07:35:06 · answer #2 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 0 0

(((Linz))) Darling. Like QOY said there are some wounds that no amount of time will ever heal & the way I look at it is that "what won't heal,deal" Sometimes it takes a whole lots of cowgirl up-ping to deal with stuff but its non-productive to waste a lot of time worrying over things. I too compare my head to how I thought a few years ago. So many things have changed and I realize how lucky I am. I am thankful I have had such great friends to help me realize that I deserve to smile*

2016-03-28 23:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

The way to learn to trust your judgement again is to figure out what was wrong with your judgement before and make sure you correct it.

If you don't figure it out, then trusting your judgement again is foolish. Chances are that you'll make the same mistake again.

2006-12-29 06:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

BEST THING I CAN TELL ANY WOMAN IN THIS SITUATION IS TRUST IN JESUS AND PRAY EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT. LOOK AT YOURSELF ONCE YOU BEGIN TO SEE YOU A PERSON NOT SOMEBODY PUNCHING BAG, EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE. TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOU. DON'T GO LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT MISTAKE, LET GOD BRING A MAN INTO YOUR LIFE ONE HE APPROVED OF. ONE THAT WILL RESPECT YOU AS A WOMAN , LISTENS TO YOU, FALL DOWN AT YOUR EVERY COMMAND. BEFORE YOU CAN TRUST A STRANGER START TRUSTING IN YOURSELF. YOU ALREADY BEGUN TO HEAL ONCE YOU LEFT. THAT TAKE TIME, COURAGE, AND LOT OF TLC!!!
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE ARE SAFE CAUSE YOU'LL BE HAPPY . THANK GOD YOU GOT OUT ALIVE MOST WOMEN DON'T. TAKE YOUR TIME GOD GOT A PLAN FOR YOU YET {REMEMBER WE ALL GO THROUGH SOMETHING, BUT NOT ONCE DID GOD LEAVE YOU, HE ALLOW YOU TO KEEP THE MOST PRECIOUS THING YOUR LIFE} READ TD. JAKE'S WOMAN ARE THOU ART LOOSED. GOD GOT A PLAN FOR YOU MY SISTER IT CALL TO LIVE !

2006-12-29 07:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by bubbles 1 · 0 0

Yes. It takes time but you will meet someone who knocks you off you're feet and live happily ever after. Just know your limitations and know what you want... not, what you don't want. Think Positive!

2006-12-29 06:53:07 · answer #6 · answered by amylr620 5 · 0 0

usually we repeat our actions and picking the same man over and over in different bodies is what usually happens.Choose differently than you've ever chosen before,find some one you totally would not have talked to before and there will be your frog turned prince.

2006-12-29 07:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by punkin 5 · 0 0

Sort of. I have pretty good radar now. But no, I don't trust anyone completely. I just can't afford to.

2006-12-29 06:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by silverside 4 · 0 0

as the saying goes time heals all wounds. i know its a cliche but its true. it will heal even faster if you occupy yrslf with positive ppl and friends.

2006-12-29 07:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by stacy 4 · 0 0

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