2006-12-29 06:22:45 · 14 answers · asked by Sexy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well their not going to be happy for a while. Just be honest, they live in the house too and probably see what's going on. Let them know this is a problem between mom and dad and has nothing to do with them. If you can give them an idea on what to expect (i.e. who's moving out, will they change schools, visitation, etc.) it might ease some of their fears.
2006-12-29 06:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell them in tears or dramatically. Tell them simply and honestly. Make sure they know it has nothing to do with them. Handle your interactions with your husband always like adults- with grace and respect and never bash either other behind each other's backs. Get into family therapy so an objective third party can head off problems before they start. There are also some books (I don't know how old your kids are) out there that explain divorce in a good way (I've listed some below). Above all, be friends so that you set a good example for your children. You loved each other enough to get married and have children together, draw on whatever of that love is left to be civil and see each other as human beings with feelings during and after this process. It's no fun for anyone.
2006-12-29 06:45:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both of you agree on the divorce maybe the best thing you can do is find a parenting coordinator to come up with a shared parenting plan that will give your children equal time with each of you. In this way the kids are able to adjust knowing that both parents are there for them. It will help the kids know that you and their father love and respect them which is truly what is in the best interest of the children. Good luck
2006-12-29 07:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and therefor tell them the truth. Explain to them that Mom and Dad are like most adults in this country. They dont care about what they promised God or each other. They dont care about what is right unless and until it gets them what they want. Tell them that Mom & Dad dont want to hurt others or at least dont want to feel like they did by seeking their own wants, but if they do so, they will act like it was in the best interests of others and those others will come to understand and not hold them accountable.
Then you might tell them that it seems that more and more so called adults are like this, so it would be best to give up any ideas of marriage, family, morals, faithfulness and so forth at a young age, because it will only get worse with time.
2006-12-29 11:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work out your indifferences with your husband. Trust me, the grass is NO greener on the other side of the fence. Look at a marriage as a sweater. When you get a new sweater, what do you do with the old one? (Swaeter As in Husband or wife) That's right, you throw it out. And when that one gets old, what happens when you get a new one, same thing. So take my advise, the next husband will get old too. And since there are children involved, for your sake, your husbands and your children sake, unlerss he is abusive, there is no reason that you should not try and work your problems out, because the next sweater will get old too.
2006-12-29 06:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth, that their individual ages will understand. More importantly it's how you and you husband act/speak with other. Divorce is often a war zone. Try NOT to get caught up in such ugliness. I wish you all the very best.
2006-12-29 06:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and assure them that your divorcing each other is not divorcing them. Agree to terms on custody so that they still will have involvement from BOTH parents.
Please do not speak negatively of each other to the kids. Remember they are innocent.
2006-12-29 06:27:35 · answer #7 · answered by mothersister_3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be as honest with them as you can. Let them know it is not their fault and let them know that even though the two of you can't be together anymore/don't love each other anymore, that you still love them the same if not more. We were honest with our son and that was the best decision we could have made.
2006-12-29 06:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by tiffantre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I highly recommend you read this book, it will help you understand where your children are coming from and how to talk to them, and what their reactions might be:
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
by Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee
http://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Legacy-Divorce-Judith-Wallerstein/dp/1901250946/sr=1-1/qid=1167426663/ref=sr_1_1/102-4605899-6920943?ie=UTF8&s=books
2006-12-29 08:12:28 · answer #9 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What lead you to this lame decision? Good luck with that. Your poor kids deserve better.
2006-12-29 06:27:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋