WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER A WHILE TO MAKE THING CLEAR IT WILL BE 6 YRS THIS NOV. 2 CHILD UNDER OUR BELT. WE LIVE TOGETHER AND ALL THAT HE EVEN CALLS ME HIS WIFE TO OTHERS BUT I CAN NEVER LET THOSE WORDS OF MY HUSBAND PASS MY LIPS BECAUSE HE IS NOT!!!! WHAT COULD THE PROBLEM BE... HE HAS NEVER EVER BROUGHT UP MARRIAGE.........WHAT TO DO??? HELP PLEASE
2006-12-29 06:08:11 · 34 answers · asked by scooterrocks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he is happy with your relationship and doesn't want to change the status quo. If all is good between maybe he thinks marriage is an unnecessary expense because wedding do to tend be expensive. I doubt it has anything to do with you since he considers as his wife. I think he is just a stereo typical male, if he can avoid marriage why not (have his cake and eat too).
Just tell him straight out you want to get officially married. Don't try to hint at because we are dense and if we do pick up hints to something we don't necessarily want, we will just ignore the hints. Besides after six years I assumed you already sent alot to hints for him to propose.
2006-12-29 06:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,the truth is...you're not married because you've let him go this long without even bringing up the subject and letting him know that that is what you want and that it's what you deserve. He doesn't have a reason to get married. He has the mother of his children,someone to take care if him,the house and the kids and everything else that goes with being married but without the actual commitment and you have stood for it for 6yrs. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want. That's the only way you're gonna get anywhere. Good luck.
2006-12-29 06:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by p_ridgeplayer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear ...
I hate to put it this way ... but I have to ...
Okay, this is why you two aren't marriaged -- "You are letting him sample the milk without putting a down payment on the cow"
In othre words, if you give him everything the way a wife would, then he doesn't have to really work for anything in order to have his way with you. You have allowed him to the goodies that come with marriage -- he feels that he has it good without any strings attached.
What you need to do is actaully bring it up on your own and if he has a problem with it then you need to leave him quickly because this means that he plans on going longer then 6 years without making you his wife.
You will remain just one of his girlfriends he decided to get alittle serious with ...
2006-12-29 06:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by rosie768 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been in a relatiionship that long and haven't asked him that question, there is something wrong. Sit down with him and ask him if he has ever had thoughts about getting married, if he says yes, ask him what he thinks is a good time for the both of you. If he says no, it my be more than likely he is afraid it will change after you get the license, but ask him why he doesn't want to make it legal. He has the answers, not us.
2006-12-29 06:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but as Dr. Laura wold say, why should he marry you. He has all the benefits of marriage - sex - but doesn't have any commitment. Your first mistake was living together without a commitment.
Tell him you want to get married or you are done with him, except for the fact that he will have to pay child support.
2006-12-29 06:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Dizney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up to him. If it's important to you, he needs to explain what is going on. Sounds like he is afraid that things will change with marriage, even though the rest of us know, things won't change at all. You are already committed, parents, and living together. Nothing would change, except legal rights to each others estates. Talk to him. I agree, it's time to get married.
2006-12-29 06:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he refuses to bring up the marriage possibility then grow yourself a spine and you be the one to suggest that you want to get married. If he isn't aware that you have this desire he may believe that you are happy with things as they are. I am certainly not trying to defend this man or anything but merely stating how I see things. Sounds like your living the married life without the paper, so you may as well be the one to bring it up.
2006-12-29 06:12:35 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I really think that since he is yours and all a guy is gonna say well she lives with me and I have children from her..why am I gonna get married to her if it already feels like it...You know what I mean that is from a man's point of view...but maybe you should talk to him... if he really loves you and all tell him that you want to get married to him because it means so much to you...and that you feel it would be the right way to have a relationship and see how it goes okay...
2006-12-29 06:13:32 · answer #8 · answered by vickyg_892008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has all the benefits of marriage, including deluding himself into thinking of you as his wife, without having to go through any of the official stuff. Bring up your concerns with him if you haven't already and have an honest, calm, discussion of your feelings. Make it ok for him to say whatever he is thinking about the situation without getting angry. It's possible that he doesn't think it's important to you.
2006-12-29 06:11:48 · answer #9 · answered by TM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason you aren't married is answered in your own explanation of circumstances. It is because you have hung around in these particular circumstances this long and put up with it. You are living with him, you gave him a kid - everything he wants and needs, so he doesn't want or need marriage for anything! Sorry, girl, you put yourself in this situation. You can't change him, but you can change yourself and your circumstances. Good luck.
2006-12-29 06:14:02 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋