If you are not a Married Woman do not answer Please!?

Question

After you are married why does it feel like you don't want to have sex anymore? My husband and I are HAPPILY married for almost one year and after we had a child together, I'm not very sexual with my husband. I love him to death and sometimes it seems to me that I'm neglecting him. Should this bother me?? Please only serious answers.

Answer 1

well i will start this with apologizing, i am not married, but, i dont think that excludes my advice. and... i'd like to offer that dude that said he'll get a mistress is a douche.

this is a tough question not knowing if you overtly sexual before you were married, or before the birth of your child.
i am assuming that yes you were.

you are going through normal phases of a relationship. i bet you are focused on the family and your child. you proally do not feel as sexual because you view your body as something different after giving birth- whether it has changed shape, or now you consider yourself as solely a mother versus as a woman.
what you need to do is get to a place where YOU feel sexy.
where YOU feel good about yourself in all aspects. Do something for you like get a facial, or a pedicure, or a bikini wax, or take up jogging. something that will make you feel better about you. and then you will be anxious to show it off to your man. little by little you will find that if you make a little time for you the woman, your sexual impulses will return and you will start to carve out time for you and your husband as a couple.
so get cracking on you. get a trusted babysitter. and date the man you married.

good luck.

Answer 2

Children bring a lot of work into the picture. Perhaps you are over tired or just conflicted about giving enough attention to your husband. Have him help more with the baby. If you feel you are neglecting him, chances are you are right.
It is hard to be spontaneous when there is a young child in the house. Try to arrange for babysitting once a week so you can have some time alone with your husband.
Also, if you don't want more children right now and you don't have much confidence in your birth control, that could be the issue. Speak with your ob/gyn about this.
All in all, if you love your husband as you say you do, just convey this information to him and see what the two of you can work out.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Sometimes stress is a big factor. Try new things maybe you are bored in the bedroom? I have read tips on this and if you don't have physical activity in your daily routine your body doesn't produce the hormones and your not interested.

I think that it is something you two need to also talk about does he feel the same way? You could also write down why you don't feel like that anymore...maybe there is something in your life that you haven't thought of. Work, bills, your child, chores, too tired, family time? Good luck! If It is still bothering you, maybe a doctor can help.

Not to scare you but my Uncle lost interest in doing the things he loved and just sat around and he ended up having a tumar.

I wish you luck, keep the communication between you open!

Answer 4

Maybe you've become a lil to comfortable knowing that you won the trophy. But the trophy will find another owner if you keep neglecting to polish it. Our (me and my hubby) sex life has become more awesome then it was before we got married, but don't get me wrong...I truly understand. With all the housework, the responsibilities of being a wife, and the raising a child, lord don't have to go to work....because who in hell would want to have sex after all of those daily chores? Sweetheart make time, Spice it up if you are bored. But by all means polish that trophy or the next question you'll be asking is how do I handle a cheating husband. Good luck in the new year and start it out with a BIG BANG in the bedroom:)

Answer 5

I know I feel the same way sometimes. Other times I'm mean and I know I'm being mean and at it bothers me that I treat him that way. To be honest I don't know why we do the things we do, but as long as you tell him you love him and he knows it I think that's the most important part. When you get married, the romance tends to go downhill slowly, when you have a child together your making the romance go downhill faster. Your not a perfect wife, and he is not a perfect husband. No one will ever be. You married each other because you love each other. Not because you expect one another to be perfect at all times. Take a vacation with just the two of you and try and remember what it felt like when you first met him. I know it's not as exciting now but it doesn't mean you love him any less. Lots of luck<3

Answer 6

Don't be hard on yourself. There are a number of common reasons for your sexual interest to decline. First, it's normal for that initial "excitement" to wear off, as you and your husband become familiar with one another's desires, likes, dislikes, etc. Second--my gosh, you have a child! Ignoring the hormonal changes your body has been through, think of the effort and care you lavish on your child--which you now don't have "free" to direct toward your husband. I recommend to first be sure you're healthy, and get some friends and family members to help out around the house and with your child if you find yourself often tired. Perhaps one of them would be willing to commit to babysitting once a week so that you and your husband can spend a night together...maybe just talking and catching up...but maybe a little more, too! Finally, don't hesitate to talk with your husband about it. He might have some ideas about how to get both of you in the mood!

Answer 7

Hi, Since I don't know the situation, I may be off base, but I'll offer what I can:

1. During marriage, my need for sex took a little while longer to build up than his and so I seldom got to feel really ready before we did the deed.

2. Also, "loving him to death" doesn't mean you want to be sexual with him. That sounds more like a friend relationship than the hot sexuality that makes us have sexual feeling towards another.

3. It is my bet that you have some unacknowledged things that are bothering you about your relationship. Its almost impossible to see them in the moment, but in retrospect I bet you'll be able to identify issues that you were angry about.

Answer 8

When women have babies, their hormones can get really screwed up. Go see your doctor and explain what is going on. Are you sure you are not suffering from post partum depression? Your sex drive is one of the first things to go when you are. Also, having a child sometimes puts that inevitable extra weight on, which does not help us see ourselves as sexual beings. Even if you don't have extra weight, get out and exercise and it will bring your libido back as well as help your body stay in shape. Are you staying home with your baby? If so, be sure to get out of the house at least once each day, even if it is just to go to the grocery store or grab a coffee. It's so important not to stay in the same surroundings every day. Do you ever get a break from the baby? It's very important to get out away from the baby once in a while as a couple so you can continue to "stoke the fire of your love". Parenting is exhausting, and for some reason, in our society it is a big taboo to admit that which I just don't understand. Try some of these things- I hope they help. I had post partum depression when my daughter was born and it was awful. If this is what is happening to you, I urge you to get help so you can be happy and get your libido back. :)

Answer 9

I do know how you feel. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and me and my husband have been dating for 2yrs and our sex life was awsome. We could not get enough of it and since we have been married our sex has went down to mabey one time on the weekend. We have sat down and really talked about it due to i thought there was something wrong with me and we came to the conclusion that we both work such long and hard hours and then come home to a 5yr old and listen to her about her school work and have dinner and run errands that we could not get done due to work and then when we get home we are just totally wiped out.
So there is really nothing wrong with you per say or him. Its just part of being married. You really have to set apart some time for you and your spouse to have some alone time.
We set a date every month for a weekend to just get away with no kid. Just the two of us and its really made us alot happier in bed and out of the bed.
Give it a try.

Answer 10

Thats a toughy. I have been married 4 yrs with two kids and we still have ALOT of sex. Have things got boring for you? I mean you really have to work to keep things spiced up. Fore play gets more and more important the longer you have been together I think. Sometimes my hubby still knocks my socks off. you should try new things. They don't have to be kinky if you aren't into that. Explain to him that you need to be turned on more. Try waking up one morning and get dressed with him in mind! Go the whole day thinking about what you are going to do when he walks in the door..... Candles set the mood nicely. But making yourself feel sexual by lotions, shaving, make up, thongs maybe even lingerie can help you get prepped up and in the mood :) Best of luck....