social anxiety...help?

Question

i am going out tonight with a group of people from work. i am really looking forward to it, but i am so nervous! when i go out with my friends, i am fine. but when i go out with a new group of people, i have a hard time opening up and often leave early because i am so tense and nervous. what can i do tonight to relax more and enjoy my time with these people?

Answer 1

relax. you're good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you. have a drink (but not too much) and enjoy yourself.

Answer 2

How about taking a half of a dramamine, or have a coctail before you go out or right when you get there. You should not allow it to make you leave and not enjou yourself. If this continues get a Dr. to p[rescribe you something to help. Also, you can practice talking in the mirror, ask questions, like where do you work, people love to talk about themselves and that takses the pressure off you. Have a menu of questions to ask anyone and let them talk away. That can help a lot. Then remember you aren't the only one that feels thais way, most of us do and it only takes a few times to meet someone before you know what to talk about so make it a point to stick it out this time. Not everyone is going to be your best friend, that's just life, some people click and others don't. find someone you have things in common with and spend time talking with them. It's ok. Have fun and enjoy, we are all just people and we all have the same problems some bigger some smaller and we all need each other at times. Make a few friends.

Answer 3

Anything that is worth doing usually will be difficult at first. It's like what one of my favorite counselors said, "The hardest part of anything is starting." But once you start, it'll just get easier because you'll have experience to look back on and gain confidence that you can either A: look back at the positive experience and do the same or better to get similar positive results or B: look back at the negative experience, see what part you played in making the experience bad, and do whatever you can to make it work out better. A lot of people are afraid to try something because they don't have this experience to look back at, which almost everyone does, whether consciously or subconsciously. Many people are naturally afraid of the unknown, simply because there's nothing to look back upon to understand what's expected. But that experience will never be there unless you try something.

Try to understand that most likely, you are not the only one in the group who is feeling nervous. Others are probably experiencing similar feelings, and knowing that can ease your anxiety a bit because it's easier to go through something when you know others are experiencing the same thing with you. It's a kind of reassurance, and I doubt there's anyone out in the world anywhere who couldn't use that.

Try to focus on the positive outcomes, try to play it out in your mind. Chances are against you that it'll play out the way you imagined it, but at least you'll have a kind of outline to guide you through it. Then, when you begin to feel more comfortable, you won't have to think about it prior -- you'll be able to just do it. You'll be able to build on your success. You've just got to be patient enough to wait for it.

Try talking about simple things, such as the weather (it actually is a good topic, regardless of the popular belief that it's what people talk about when there's nothing else), something in the news that intrigued you, basic opinions on things such as food/culture. If not that, bring up a topic about why/how the others joined the company, and tell how you got into it yourself.

I can tell you now that it's not gonna be easy at first, nothing is. But if you don't begin to open up, you'll be missing out on a lot of experiences that could make you more happy. You're taking a bit of a risk here, but understand that the results will eventually justify beyond the risk -- the reason why you don't believe that now is probably because you don't have the experience.

Just take deep breaths if you're feeling anxious, but try to remember that there's no need to be. You're not here for an interview or anything like that, just to have a good time. You'll be able to overcome ANYTHING if you believe strongly enough in something. And remember, if you're just on the verge of sharing a thought/opinion, and you just can't do it, the only way TO do it is...."just do it." That's it, really. "Just do it. IT is what you need" -- quote from a favorite teacher.

Well, I really hope I've been able to help. My fingers are a bit tired from typing up this long response, but it'd be worth it if things go well, for the most part -- nothing will EVER go exactly the way you plan. That's just how life is, because if your plans did go exact, what's the point of even doing it when you know what to expect? Anyway, I think I've said enough. I wish you all the best, and happy new year! Let us know how things went, I'm interested in hearing about it! ^_^

Answer 4

a lot of people feel nervous around new groups of people the first time, but if you hang out with them a lot, you'll get used to it. think about the first time you hung out with your friends... were you comfortable meeting them the first time? however you felt, you folks are obviously still friends.
and you work with the people that you're going out with tonight... so it's actually a good time to bond about work and other things to make for a better work environment.
and while some people here would say have an alcoholic drink, i wouldn't recommend it.... because then alcohol takes over and it's not you that your co-workers are going to know.

Answer 5

Don't worry abut it and try to keep yourself busy and not dwell on it all day - it will make it worse. Basically, the more you think about it, the more fear and anxiety you'll have, so keep yourself occupied.
Also, have a a couple of drinks. For a thousands of years, people have relied on alcohol to loosen themselves up, why should it be different for you? It shouldn't. Just be yourself and have fun. Good luck to you. It's really not that big of a deal - your going out for drinks with a group of co-workers. Unless you get hammered and start dancing naked on a bar stool, what's the big deal? Don't let your head talk you into making it a big deal.

Answer 6

Usually that happens when you're afraid that you would say something wrong or embarrassing lol. I say, be carefree! I used to be shy but later on I didn't care what people thought about me (don't get me wrong i'm still polite lol) and I just generally opened up. I mean these ppl are only humans just like me and you! Don't think too hard, just do it! (Or just say it lol)

♥Jessica

Answer 7

Shanan shut up that dosent work for kids most of them get addicted(i'm a kid!!) go to a mother f ing psyciatrist and get the drugs b**** it'll help!!