no body in our family is approving that girl since she is less Education from him and poorer and she came from not so good family but they have been in a realationship together for five years
and she is the one who is all over him calling him 20 times a day thats why we think she is forcing him to marry her he is 33 years old , we never met that girl and we dont know nothing about her give me your opinion please...
2006-12-29 05:22:12 · 66 answers · asked by Yahoo User 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My opinion is that it's his life, if that is what makes him happy then you as his family should support his decision
2006-12-29 05:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
First of all her education should have nothing to do with why you don't like her. Her financial situation is not super important I would look at her work ethic and judge from that. If she is a hard worker she can make more someday. If she is not then remind your brother that "Money" is the biggest reason couples split! He has been with her 5 years so he likes something she is giving him. The part about her calling 20 times a day show some serious insecurity. Be hope full that he will wake up and realize she will do that for the rest of his life if she is doing it now! Or it could get worse! Try not to tell him not to do it because that will push him closer to her. Remind him why you get married and have him ask those questions. Will she be a good mother? Will she help with the bills? Does he want to spend the rest of his life with such an insecure girl? Good luck.
2006-12-29 05:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by dfgrace22 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi Lola, I'm going to go out on a limb, since I don't know the whole situation, but I'll try to offer some help. Since the family hasn't met her and has made assumptions based on things they've heard, it sound like you can't determine what you think without some more information.
Obviously, you want to be supportive of your brother's decisions, but not see him make a mistake. On the other hand, we all will make decisions in our life that don't work out. First of all, you should think about your family member's individual agendas. For example, some mothers are never going to approve of any female in their son's lives. When thinking about the finances, being poorer can actually be a benefit in terms of character development. I have friends that have had to work harder and are more mature and grateful. Of course, she may be trying to use your brother financially.
I suggest you get to know her for yourself. Ask your brother to tell share with you the things he loves about her, why he's wanting to marry her, why now...etc... Try to get a sense of whether she really really loves him; does she truly want what is best for him? Then you will be better informed and can get perspective and can be more at peace about this family drama.
Since your brother may be feeling between a rock and a hard place, he will probably appreciate your cool head and unconditional love, support and acceptance. He is going to do whatever he chooses, however, your love and support will mean alot to him. If after checking her out yourself you can't be supportive of their relationship, then I'd suggest you quietly have a conversation with him away from the family and the family home and just tell him what you see and feel. He may be receptive enough to listen and hear your comments. Let him know that you love him and will respect his life decisions regardless of his choice. Hope this helps.
2006-12-29 05:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by angieblossom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, judging by your grammar, your family is not high on the education scale either (at least not in English), so let's take the education aspect out of your question as you have no business with that. That leaves that she is from a family less financially secure than your family and they are "not so good". First, financial issues should play no bearing in a marital decision. Basing an opinion about a person on their financial status is shallow and unevolved, so that removes the financial aspect of your question. That leaves the part about her being from "not so good family". The latter part of your statement says that you have never met her, thus you have no basis for judging her family, because if you have not met her, how in the world would you have met her family? Let's see... that leaves that she calls 20 times a day. Based on the rest of your question, I would have to make the assumption that 20 times a day is an exaggeration because most people have about 16 waking hours in a day, and that would be more than once an hour. You would have to give vast proof of calling that often in order for me to believe it. Now to the last issue... being "forced" to marry her. No one forces anyone to marry anyone, especially at 33 years old, so we know this is a radical assumption.
All your question is, is a rant, and a negative one at that. You state you know nothing about this girl and yet you rake her over the coals. Simply based on your question, I would say you are the uneducated one and truly need to look inside your heart and get the toxins out of it. Learn to love people, not to hate. Be supportive of your brother, don't wish for his love to be taken away- love is hard to find. Be happy for him. Prove that you are from a good family by being a good person and learn to love the woman that will soon be your sister in-law.
2006-12-29 05:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. He WILL marry her (in a relationship for 5 years).
2. They WILL have children very soon.
3. Since the family usually spends more time with the parents of the mother, keep that in mind.
4. If the lot of you do not support that girl 100% you will not see the brother nor his family again. They will be with her family.
5. What all of you think does not count. After the wedding, the lot of you will be supreme hypocrites if you congratulate them then while you have been talking her down before the wedding.
Here's the line (to the brother):
"We support whatever decision you make"
2006-12-29 05:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like so many others said on this issue, it is not your place or your family's place to say who he should or should not marry simply because he chose her, whether you like it or not, your brother deserves to be happy and deserves to love whoever he wants, who is your family to judge people who you have never even met? The truth is your family wouldn't be happy with whoever he was with unless it was one of your own. What you have is emotional incest, get over it, he's a man not a little boy and so what if she calls him 20 times a day, are you jealous? Dont let whatever opinions you have of her get in between your brothers and hers relationship, anyways if you do chances are hes going to side with his soon to be wife, and probably will stop talking to your family as much, be wise keep your mouth shut and keep your heart open she could be a nice person and you guys dont even give her a chance, she obviously keeps your brother happy why put him in a dilemna where he has to chose? Dont or it will backfire good luck I dont mean to be so blunt but thats the best way to explain it
2006-12-29 07:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all............... "we don't know nothing about her?" Did you mention that the girl friend comes from a "less educated" family? Take a step back here and look in the mirror, or use spell check, there is a grammar section included by the nice people at Mirco-soft. Use it. Then, take another step back and realize your brother is 33 and still not married, gee wonder if it has something to do with his self-righteous sanctimonious meddling family? Now take another step back..... are you married? Does your family approve? Let your brother live his life, if he's been with this woman for 5 years, sounds to me like they have something working for them, that doesn't include you.
Get it?
2006-12-29 05:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by kooky 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never met her, but he's been with her for 5 years? That doesn't make any sense. You and your family need to stop being so judgemental and let your brother make his own decision and live with his own consequences. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
How do you know she calls him 20 times a day if you have never even met the girl! Something isn't making sense here. It sounds like you are jealous of your brothers relationship with this girl. Which is normal. I still don't like my sister-in-law even though it's been 10 years. I tried to, but I don't, but I am friendly (fake) for the sake of my bro and his kids. People need to start eating humble pie more often.
2006-12-29 05:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by micmac_9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your family has it nose stuck in the air! You people aren't even giving her a chance. She can't help who her parents were and what difference does it make that she was from a poor family? So she isn't as educated as he is! It doesn't seem to bother him. I would think your family's main concern would be your brother's happiness! He must enjoy her company or he wouldn't have invested 5 years in this woman. Just because she calls a lot she is forcing him to marry her? That's just crazy!! Your family isn't any better than anyone else's in fact it's worse, because you all are so judgmental!! You better learn to love your Brother's wife and support his decisions or you might just loose him!
2006-12-29 05:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok... Question.
Does your family have the same feelings toward other family members who aren't educated, or can't write a proper sentence. Not to be harsh, but before anyone in your family can make statements about other people being poor and not as well educated... they should probably look in their own backyard.
Truly, people who live in glass houses should never ever throw stones.
Your family should truly "mind their own business" Be happy that he's happy.
2006-12-29 05:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask your brother to let her come over and meet her. If they been going out for five years that is a long time. If he is happy with her you should just let it be. If she has less education maybe it is a reason for that. I think you and your family have to take your brothers feelings into account. He is 33 years old and he needs to learn from his own mistakes if it does not work out.
2006-12-29 05:29:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋