How do I leave my husband?

Question

I have been married to this man for over 25 years. He has never respected my opinion and has never indicated he found me sexually attractive throughout the marriage. Now our marriage is sexless. I have spoken with him and he says he finds me sexy but,"just doesn't know what to do" and that he wants to try to work on the marriage,though he never even touches me. My self esteem is rock bottom. I want to leave before I look back on my life and regret it. Am I just crazy? We have a 5 year old child who I love very much.

Answer 1

Seek counseling from an impartial third party. If your husband refuses to go then you have your answer. If he says he wants to work on it and you suggest this as a method to try to fix things and he's not willing that says everything you need to know. Actions speak louder than words.

Having been divorced before with a child and seeing the pain it caused my child I would have tried harder to make it work. Exhaust all means you can before calling it quits. You shouldn't have to to forfeit the rest of your life for the sake of your child's but if there's a chance to make it work with your husband you owe it to your child to pursue it.

Answer 2

Twenty years married before having the kid?
No wonder he has cooled, he's living with a mother.
When was the last time you approached him as a wife with some sexy outfit and equipment at the ready? Can't remember?
There's the problem. You've become someone's mom and forgot how to be a wife. Why do you think he is at a loss he doesn't know how to deal with a mom in bed. Maybe you need to do some work here.
In large measure you are responsible for your own happiness and sex life. Why not take charge a bit and see where it goes.
Contrary to popular opinion guys can be trained. If he is at a loss try some specific instructions like put your hand here and move it like this, how about the ever popular suck it baby. Make an appointment. Let him know tonights the night and NO is not an option.
It sounds way to early to think about moving out on your kids father. You have not seemed to have exhausted any options.

Answer 3

If you see the only choice as leaving, then do so. Your child will be okay. Better not to let your child learn that this way of living is normal. But if there is any hope whatsoever, try counselling. If you both are willing to put in 100% effort, things can get noticeably better for you within just a few months. 25 years is a lot of time to throw away on a whim. Be certain that whatever decision you make will be the right one. If counselling doesn't work, then you can at least say you tried your best and will have fewer (if any) regrets if you leave. He can survive without you unless he's wimpy and chooses not to, which isn't your problem.

Answer 4

I think for the sake of your child, you should try to stay together. However, if your child is not very close with your husband, and if your finances are in check, then maybe you two would like to forge onward, on your own. It seems as if you've been in this relationship for a long time and you've been unhappy for a long time. So a new start, may give you a new lease on life. If you want to stay together, and if your husband is willing, you should probably go to therapy.

As far as answering the question, make sure you have your family's support before telling him. Approach him when things are calm. Tell him exactly what you posted here and be gentle. See his reaction and take it from there. I wish you all the best, it must be hard going through the holidays with this on your mind.

Answer 5

My dear I understand your dilema.
I congratulate first of all for standing all the pains all this long,
If indeed you call him your husband, why leave then?
Did you make a vow to him that you will love him till death puts you apart? Then you shoud keep up but you just need to know how.

HOw: It seems even your husband finds you sexy but does not know what He is going through himself.
Have you in mind if he goes out with other women? This also can help.

I would really recommand you to have time to talk and try to undestand what he is going through.
It might not be your problem but your lover has a problem that himself does not understand.

Remember men try to hide behind their ego and not face a situation.

I will really love to hear from you in case you need any help from me or my friends I can recommand you to.

I pray for you to have a wonderful 2007 with the husband of your life.

Prince

Answer 6

GET SOME MARRIAGE COUNSELING, THEN IF IT DOESN'T WORK, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. I KNOW I'VE BEEN THERE TOO. I FOUND OUT I WAS REALLY AN OK PERSON WHO DID LIKE SEX TOO. WISHING YOU THE BEST. I ALSO WAITED OVER 30 YEARS. I WAITED TOO LONG TO LEAVE, BUT FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT MY SELF NOW.

Answer 7

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover. Make a little plan Stan, get on the bus Gus, just set yourself free.

Answer 8

It is all about you and your self love! If you don't love yourself, you can't love him or that baby! You need to leave, maybe not divorce, but leave him to be for a while. Let him miss you and all that you do, and make him realize that this isn't a game this is life and you are a full blooded human female. If he doesn't change, within the time limit that you have set then MOVE ON! Its worth your happiness and your baby's happiness! Remember that! Good Luck!

Answer 9

I heard a guy on the radio say there must be 50 ways to leave your lover

Answer 10

Try counseling it cant hurt but it can save the marriage