We have been dating for two years and are totally in love but there are certain things that don't come up in normal conversation. What are things you find out after you are married that you wish you had asked about? (Like if mother-in -law will live with us.)
2006-12-29 04:53:14 · 17 answers · asked by Zee Bee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We talked about the past to death... And we talk about the obvious like how many children and religion.
2006-12-29 05:10:11 · update #1
Life time goals. Where to live. Money Issues. Free Time. Friends and bounderies. Expectations. Trust. Your Past. Hobbies. Habits.
Most of all, how are they when they are tired, sick, miserable and broke? Have you seen them like this? Can you handle a relationship with this person day in and day out, everyday for the rest of your life? Also, what limitations are they going to ask of you? How much will they compromise? Is your happiness important to them?
2006-12-29 05:01:43 · answer #1 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Things to talk about ate:
1. Interpersonal Communication -- this one is a BIGGIE and constantly over looked -- you two should open the flow of communication WIDE if you haven't already. Living with someone for a while means that you need to be prepared and ready to discuss everything (ie. medical issues, sexual issues and desires ... etc.) Make sure that you two establish this before marriage!
2. Expectations of each other -- ANOTHER BIGGIE
3. Having chilldren and how many ....
4. Money Management
5. Family values -- everyone very different when it comes to these sort of things.
6. Sex Drives -- (Another HUGE one) make sure you two have a match in this department or else it will cause huge problems in the future.
7. Parentel Behavior -- (this is REALLY REALLY BIG too) have an understanding about how you want your children treated by the both of you. Being the mother and father to the children, you two have to be connected on how you want them to be treated and raised by the both of you -- especially when it comes to discipline! *** Some people don't talk about this sort of thing, as a result, chaos begins ****
I hope this will help you. And by alll means GOOD LUCK TO YOU :D
2006-12-29 05:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by rosie768 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For each person I think it is different especially depending on whether or not you live together now or if you are waiting until you are married. So, based on my own personal experiences and you may laugh now, but these things will come up, here you go:
Does it matter to him which way the toilet paper is put on the roll?
Does he squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle? Top? Bottom?
What chores does he plan on helping/doing around the house besides garbage and mowing the lawn?
If one of your family members (and vice versa) need a place to live, can they live with you? Why? Why not?
How many, if any, children do you want? Starting when? How far apart?
Will he use your "hand towels" in the bathroom (you know the ones ladies that we truly only hang for decoration) to dry his hands?
What nights, if any, does he plan on still having "me" time? If you want "me" time, how does he feel about that? (Yes, it will change after you're married no matter what he says now that you are dating)
The list could go on and on and for every couple it just keeps getting bigger. But, look on the bright side, you'd get bored after a few years if you could finish his every sentence.
2006-12-29 05:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by mvngs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are of different religions which one will the children be raised under.
How finances will be handled? This is a biggie - money is one of the major reasons for marital discontent. Getting "Money" mag would be a real good idea. Get specific here. Separate accts? Joint? How much to save? What are financial goals?
Where to live can be an issue if from different states & family members still live there.
How you will handle differences. Good idea: When calm sit down, discuss problem & try to find solution.
Agree to never, under any circumstances, call each other names or say something which will be regretted later. Big word not to say: Divorce. Once out there it can't be forgotten.
2006-12-29 05:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are a couple of things that can break up a marriage:
Money and religion. Before you get married you both better be on the same page when it comes to money and religion. This doesn't mean you have to be the same religion, but what is important is you both respect each others' beliefs. If one of you has a solid respect for money and how to save it and the other doesn't have a clue about finances and just spends it, the marriage will be over in less than 3 years.
2006-12-29 05:01:34 · answer #5 · answered by Martini61 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good questions:
Do you plan on eating like crap for the rest of your life so as to resemble the Goodyear blimp?
How many diapers do you plan on changing when we have kids?
Does any mental illness run in your family?
If you develop erectile dysfunction, are you going to tell me and get help, or just be embarrassed and stop trying to have sex with me giving me a huge inferiority complex?
Are you going to put the cap back on the toothpaste?
Why are your underwear so skidded up? Don't you use toilet paper?
These are important.
2006-12-29 05:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So this two years of "dating" was nothing but premarital lust?
I am amazed that during two years, you do not know about important things. If you have any religious beliefs, you will want to discuss how that will impact your married life. You might want to decide how much you will reveal about your other lust partners in the past, so it is not something to argue about later.
2006-12-29 05:04:16 · answer #7 · answered by jigga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually anything that you feel needs attention should be discussed pre-marriage.Finances is always a good thing to discuss, who will handle payment of bills. One thing my fiance' and myself have agreed on is whatever agreement we make as a couple, we have to stick to it. We don't deviate from it without letting the other know, if the other is unreachable, we stick to the original plans. where to spend holidays is something that needs to be discussed.
2006-12-29 09:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finances
Short and long term plans for the future
housing arrangements (where esp.) bith short and long term
kids- how many, when, are you both going to work or is one going to be a stay at home parent
holidays- where to spend them
any medical concerns
2006-12-29 05:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religious beliefs
How many kids if any.
What will happen if u do have kids,like are you going to stay home and for how long.
Spending money:Joint accounts ?One account?How much is okay to spend with out telling the other?Who will take care of the bills.
Plans for careers.
2006-12-29 05:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋