Is my husband having a life crisis?

Question

I am 8 months pregnant and my husand decided to leave us.
here are the factors in the relationship:
one of his major fears is that i or the baby might die during labor.
he doesn't make enough money to support us, i support us.
his father needed help so he had to move in wth him to take care of him.
He doesn't say he loves me any more just that he cares SO much about me
He his talking to some other girl at his work, JUST TALKING!
He DOES NOT want a divorce, just space.
he is only 24, do you think my husband is having a life crisis cause he is so young and so much is happening?

Answer 1

ASOLUTELY NOT!

Your "husband" is not a man and a true husband (no disrespect intended). He's selfish and selfserving.

He needs to first. Grow up, stop making excuses for why he can't be a proper "WORKING", faithful husband, father, Those excuses are just that... EXCUSES for why he's unwilling to be responsible. He's playing you and afraid of the adult responsibilities he has to face especially now that he's about to be a father.

Here's an overview of the facts that you've stated.. which by the way is a load of CROCK!

1) He's afraid the baby might die in child birth... What the???? Can't even respond to the logic behind that mess.
2) He doesn't make enough money to support us... WOW... then how about getting his butt up making the necessary career/job change that would provide adquate means to support his family.

3) He wants space.... PLEAZE!!!! He's trying to break out.. without actually saying he wants to be gone permanently... "RED FLAG" warning signal. Or he trying to live as a single person while still being married... in other words trying to have his cake and eat it too.

4) He has to take care of his father because he needed help... Another... PLEAZE!!! apparently he doesn't recognize that once your married mommy and daddy take a serious back seat to you... the WIFE and soon to be MOTHER of his child. You're his first priority and should "YOU" and the baby need to be taken care of.

5) He say he cares about you... well, tell him he has a funny way of showing it. If leaving you to live with his daddy and not working to improve his financial situation, just "talking" to another woman, and saying he needs space is his way of caring then... he should try not to care so much.

6) Now he's adding insult to injury by just "talking" to some other woman.. This particular action is called "intro to cheating 101)... Recognize!

Smell the coffee... There's nothing wrong with your husband short of selfishness and irresponsibility. He's trying to slowly and steadily morph back to singlehood and he's runing scared. Trying to recapture his single, carefree, responsibility free, child/wife, don't really have to work hard days.

Get some counseling... this can be resolved. Even if he chooses not to go... you definitely should. No need to throw the marriage down the toilet. With some good therapy/counseling he'll get better and get step up to the plate. His behavior and actions are a direct result of fear.

Life crisis???.... THINK NOT!.. more like "NOT A TRUE MAN/FEAR" crisis.

Answer 2

He is not having a life crisis. He is young, terrified of responsibility, immature, and has not yet cut the aprons strings (from dad in this case). "Space" is a lame excuse- when you marry, you don't need "space"- you talk whatever it is out until it is worked through, and you do that with your wife, not some girl at work. Why, in this day and age, would he even be thinking there was a possibility that you or the baby would die in labor? (is this his wish? How does a thought like that even make it into someone's head?) He has no self esteem because you have to support him and getting up and looking at himself in the mirror every morning is probably a daily struggle. YOU need help right now as you are pregnant with his child... when he married you, he left his home and parents and committed to you. His father needs to find some other way to get the assistance he needs or he will die knowing he ruined the chance for happiness his son had in his marriage. All in all, it sounds like your husband is having second thoughts now that the two of you are expecting a baby and he's gotten a taste of married life. It sounds like he is a very young, very immature boy that has gotten himself in too deep and is now looking for a way out without having to admit he's the one to blame for making bad decisions.

Answer 3

Your husband is having a major emotional crisis. He probably thinks his future is dim because of his inability to support you. Now with the baby coming there is even more pressure on him. His "fears" of you or the baby dying is a ridiculous excuse for his behavior. If this really is a concern for him he needs psychological help immediately. The easiest thing for him to do is to absent himself from the situation and you. It's certainly not your fault but you remind him of his inadequacies.

I'm not too sure that he really had to move in with his father. This seems like a cop out. Unless you both get some family counseling I see this going downhill very rapidly. Give him an ultimatum. Counseling or you want out. There is no point in staying with someone who gives you nothing in return for your efforts. You should put him on the spot and ask him if his "caring" for you is the same as "loving" you. Good luck!

Answer 4

I think you should let him know it is definetly all or nothing. As far as just talking it is hard to belive that is it but you know him better than any of us. Trust your instincts. How long have you been married? Was the baby planned? No matter I have been through a similar situation and me and my husband worked through it. We have been married for 10 years now. I still have issues with some of the problems but you have to look at it as getting stonger and look to the future. But I would let him know that he either comes back and works it out or you will divorce him. But for the babies sake do it on friendly terms. He will always be the babies father.

Answer 5

I am going to disagree with the majority here..

My husband went through the same thing. He was only 22 when I first got pregnant though. He was also talking to other girls except he wasn't even telling me he cared. He was just down right mean. I lived like this for about a yr then we finally seperated. We had not been apart for two months we he came knocking on my door in tears (I have only seen him cry that 1 time in 7 yrs of knowing him now) Still to this day he apologizes to me about the way he acted. He says that he was scared out of his mind and didn't know what he was doing or how he was going to raise a child. Did you guys get together recently? (i mean not long before you got pregnant?) I know another thing that freaked my husband out was he said he didn't even know who I was anymore .. because let's admit.. pregnancy really changes a women. I am not saying what he is doing to you is right... and he is NOT acting very much like a man. You definitely need to fix the situation but don't get hateful or rule out that he doesn't love you. Chances are he is scared out of his mind. You know they say husbands sometimes get symptoms of pregnancy when their wives are pregnant. Some even gain weight. Both times my husband got very moody haha... This last time he didn't leave and we made it but it was definitely a rocky period esp since we normally never fight. Best of luck to you.... and if you do seperate or divorce try and be a little understanding this is the father of your child and chances are he's scared out of his mind. Esp with you making more money ... thats just hard for some men to accept. AGAIN I WANT TO SAY THAT HE IS NOT RIGHT... but we all have our faults and it really shows a lot when our spouse can stick them out with us.....


**** one more thing.. I had hired a private investigator when we seperated and he never NOT once cheated on me... even though he had been talking to other girls while we were together ***

Answer 6

I cant believe he'd leave you when you are 8 months pregnant!
If he really cares about you, he wouldnt leave you when you need him the most!!
He is scared about becoming a father! He probably just wants some time to think about it, but that gives him NO excuse to leave you, or even do these things! you are married!
talk to him, tell him whats up, and what you expect from him in this marriage. you should stand up to him, and tell him that you are in this together, whether he likes it or not.
goodluck!

Answer 7

Yes, he is overwhelmed. I absolutely would not communicate with him though while he is choosing to talk to the other girl if I was in your shoes. He's married to you. If he had respect for your marriage, or even for you, he wouldn't be doing that. If it was up to me, he'd get the divorce papers from my attorney and at the same time get a reality check. I'd make him know that it's all or nothing. You deserve better than that.

Answer 8

Your husband is not having a crisis he's just NOT being a real man/father. Let him go because nothing good will come if he decides to hang around. Let him look himself in the mirror everyday for the rest of his pathetic life and let him see the loser he is. You can make it on your own with a child...be stong

Answer 9

no,your husband is not having a life crisis he is just afraid to handle responsibility.at his age he is matured enough to know the difference being single and married man.his excuse are very irrelevant and unacceptable.i know it's very painful in your part as you're pregnant and you need him the most.if that's his decision give him a space to think more.ask him to leave after delivery.Be strong and take courage.you're not the only one who suffering thesame situation.prepare yourself.don't be depress it's not good for you and the baby.Pray ask God's wisdom and guidance.

Answer 10

He is not having a life crisis. He is having a dead beat crisis. There is no excuse for leaving your pregnant wife because you want some space.

This will hurt. He doens't want the responsiblity and he is cheating on you. Be strong for you and your child. You will get through this.