Is an hour minimum normal?

Question

My husband is in his mid-30s. I've been with him for seven years. During that time, our sessions have always lasted a MINIMUM of one hour. Sometimes this is just too long for me. He says that he trained his body to last a long time because he didn't want to be a "two-minute man," and that's why he takes a long time. But I wonder if this can be a physical problem and he doesn't want to admit it? Once, when I suggested a quickie, he agreed. The quickie was thirty minutes, which (from what I hear) is actually the length of an average session. He is very good in bed, but sometimes quickies are good, too. There are times when I want to have sex, but I don't want to initiate it because I know it will last an hour and a half, maybe two. Are there any men out there who can tell me if a man can truly train his body to last a certain amount of time? Is an hour minimum normal? We've talked about it before, but I don't want to make a big issue out of it.

Answer 1

Its true in my case, my bf is the same way, he can last for hours, and an hour is minimum for us too, and I got the same reasons as to why. And I know what you mean, sometimes it takes too long and by the time he is done, you are bored and just want to be doing something else, but you don't know how to say it without coming across mean or insensitive. But other times I can't get enough and just want to him to never stop!

Answer 2

It sounds like an hour is normal for your husband, so you have to think about what you really want. If you only want a quickie, keep a clock near the bed and set the alarm for when you want to be done by. Not too romantic, but effectively gets the point across.

Look at the other side of the coin. A lot of younger guys can do the nasty, be cleaned up and back on the X-Box in 12 seconds. Don't you prefer a man who is willing to take suggestions and can take the time to please you?

Answer 3

I think you are smart not to make a big issue out of it. It could be something he is really sensitive about.

I'd say it's probably that he just takes a very long time to get there. E.g. just the way that he's made. Even if this is true, maybe you should still bring up that sometimes sex lasts too long for you.

If a bloke masturabates a lot, it can make sex last longer, but in my experience not up to an hour longer.

I guess it all depends on what sort of relationship you have with your husband. Obviously I don't know how well he'd take it if you asked him to 'finish himself off.' Personally, it's not something I have a problem with. In fact, it can be pretty intimate.

If he were to go without masturbating at all for a few days, that would probably speed things up in bed - but be so careful, I had a girlfriend who asked me not to masturbate and I felt that she was being too controlling.

Personally I'd also say that it I couldn't train myself to take any longer or shorter length of time than what comes naturally. But different men might be able to do it.

Even though different men have very different attitudes to sex, most men LOVE to be told they are good in bed and that you fancy them.

Remember when talking about issues where his sexual confidence is at stake, to stress that you think he is good in bed and find him sexy...... it's just that this one thing would make it even better sometimes.

Lastly, don't be offended if you find he can climax through masturbating much quicker than when he is having sex with you. It's totally normal, it's simply because he's got total control of how it feels - and it's less tiring.

Best wishes.

Answer 4

There isn't as much a formal training that allows me to stay that way for hours at a time. It is a mental makeup. And to a great extent I love to prolong because I enjoy it a lot.

However, I do enjoy those quickies that last about 10 minutes or so and are very intense and satisfying. Sometimes just as you get into the shower or just as you are preparing a dinner or as you I'm about to leave for work.

That's what is important. To enjoy both ~ the prolonged lengthy ones when we feel we have the time and energy to experience it and those quickies when all we need is instant gratification. It's just fun that way to have it well balanced. That way, when we mix in that variety, we always want to experience the other when we think we've tried enough of one way.

Answer 5

I am not a man but... 30 minutes is normal session??? 30 minutes is also a "quickie" in my marriage. We've been married for 5 yrs and I would say our "normal" time would be about 1 hr to 1 1/2. Does your husband masturbate often? I have heard many people say that the more they masturbate the longer they can go ...

I don't complain about it .. one of my girlfriends has been with her husband for 3 yrs now and has NEVER orgasimed! EVER ... and he is the only person she has ever been with. Be thankful and proud of what you have !! :)

Answer 6

My wife told me that in the past few years that I was taking way too long to get the job done, when in the past it was about 30 Min's max. i too had trained my mind not to let go so fast because i thought she wanted it for a longer period of time. i had some trouble with trying to rush things up and then she took control, with some soft verbal talking. Last night it happened in 10 Min's and when i asked her about it she said "home run baby".
The best part about this is now she wants to do it more often.

Answer 7

I can generally make it last as long as I want. So yea, you can practice techniques for making it last. Stopping just before and restarting is usually the best way. If he's doing this then all you gotta do is keep up the pressure, if you know what I mean.

Also I was on lexapro for a while and that did cause some problems in ....getting there...so medication can effect it.

Answer 8

yes men can train themselves. he also could be takin something that gives him stamina . In that case be happy with an hour because it coud go all night with many sessions. Try to tell him during the session that you want him to %$#. Say it in a very sexy way.Or just slow the mood down by touching and then hop back on.lol

Answer 9

Yes a hour is normal. My husband is the same way but If I told him not to masturbate for a week, by the time we have sex he tends to come a lot faster usually within 20 minutes. That's because it has build up and is anxiously waiting to come out.

Answer 10

OMG, you have what most women want!!! LOL I haven't been with many people on three, but the first two were way too fast. I could never reach the big O. My current boyfriend is like your husband. He says the same thing. He has trained himself not blow his load too quickly. He wants to make sure he pleasures me before he lets loose. So when I've had my fill I just go lemp on him and tell him that I can't move any more.