My step father was very abusive when he drank.....my mom lost custody of me and my sisters because of that, and now when i ask her why she stays with him, she says he has changed....do you think people can change from something like that?
2006-12-29 03:17:09 · 34 answers · asked by vgplamondon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
some people actually do change and others just put on a front, but u know what ur moms an idiot because she she have left him and never took him back since the consequence of staying w/him was losing her children...
She's weak, that's why she took him back and if he had any dignity he would've stayed out of ur lives even ur mothers especially if there was a chance of her having her kids back.
men are jackassesssssss cause they care for no one but the person there humping, and ur step father is no different. the children always come first and if ur mom couldn't see that then of course why would he??? he was only caring about what ur mother was caring about and that was their relationship not parenting and ur safety.......
2006-12-29 03:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think so. Things and situations change. People do not. Maybe with help they do, but think about it: imagine you smoke (I am using this example because abuse is a form of trying to relieve stress and gain power and nicotine does the same thing) and try to quit. It is going to be harder the longer you have been doing it. If you try to go through withdrawal by yourself, you probably will go back to smoking. The same with abusive individuals. Maybe, if they recieve support and help from medication - not for a mental disease, don't get me wrong, I am not being rude, but as stress relief or calming - it is possible. But for a person to change himself, that is pretty doubtful. Also consider the possibility that your mother loves your father very much and can either deny the problem or love over it. Love is a very powerful emotion, just like an addiction to a problem. Remember that and you will understand why some people act so foolishly.
2006-12-29 03:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! Change does not come from some counseling building. Change comes from inside of a person. Sure counseling can help but only if someone wants it to and is willing to put forth hard work and effort. I am so sorry that your mom stayed with him and lost custody of her children though. I would have chose my kids in a second! But if he was abusive maybe she was controlled by him and scared of him, I don't know. But people can change no matter how bad they used to be. But if you are around him then you would be able to tell if he changed or not.
2006-12-29 03:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Crickett 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope... not really.
He has "changed" because he doesn't have the stresses of having kids around... not to say you did anything wrong, but he wasn't your father.
I think it's reprehensible of your mother to have stayed with a man who was abusive, even after her kids were taken away... and thank goodness you were.
In my mind she chose her man over her kids, and that constitutes throwing away your parent card.
My mother did the same thing and I had to walk away from the both of them. I have taken abuse from my father for way too many years, and now that I'm in my thirties, I'm finally strong enough to say "screw you... I didn't deserve that!"
2006-12-29 03:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my own thoughts that man is a dog.If he changed why are you's in care?Family First my motto.He needs help mabe thers hope for him .I never give up on people but some people are not compatible.I'm sorry for you and your sisters,mabe your mom will come to her senses and give her head a shake.No man should stand in the way of the womens children.Never
2006-12-29 03:24:25 · answer #5 · answered by Victorio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can change, but not without help. That doesn't mean he didn't get it, just because you don't know about it. Still, I would keep your protective eye on mom and be ready to protect her at will.
If she doesn't want to leave then she won't, no matter what you do.
I know men who have been abusive and got help . . . I'm not sure how the wives trust them either.
2006-12-29 03:23:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. Am sorry to say. In spite of that. You know he is better to her than you and all involved. So try to rest easy. Nessa. You tell your sisters and your mom how great they are. They need to hear it. But so does he. God bless you all. Happy New Year. Eagles band. The song Forgiveness. Hits home. In a way.
2006-12-29 03:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I KNOW they can change, and they DO everyday! If you don't see any signs of abuse (mentally or physically), be happy for your mom. Things have happened in your past, but there's nothing you can do to change those things. If they didn't kill you, they can only make you stronger! Just go with it and share your mom's joy with her, as long as you know she's not being hurt by this man anymore. People change, and should be forgiven for their bad pasts...
2006-12-29 03:21:00 · answer #8 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, people can change without help. The one thing that would stick in my mind is "why did/would he change?" Without motivation to change, few of us really do. I would suspect the motivation first before believing that someone has changed from being abusive to not.
2006-12-29 03:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by David 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Can, but if kids are the ones getting abused, the contact between them and the abuser must be ended immediately.
2006-12-29 03:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by appsptspcl 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋