what would you do???

Question

if your partner of 7 years told you he didnt know what he wanted would you persue him or leave him be? i have told him i want a yes or no if we are over, he said do you want a forced answer ie: tell me its over, or give him some space as he dosent know what he wants in his life at the moment. he has just moved away from me and his daughter, and no things werent good when he went. a lot of bad stuff has happened over the last two years. things arent great for him where he is either, keeps telling me his life has just crumbled before his eyes. i dont know wether to give him space or get an answer out of him. am i just making the matter worse???

Answer 1

If I were you I would move on with my life. If things were not great why do you want it back? I understand you love him and all that but your happiness and your daughters should come first.

Answer 2

This is a serious dilemma and no one can really lighten your own load here unless you have decided in your heart what you want from all of this ..... I guess that even with all the bad stuff that has happened, you would rather be with him than not be with him ...... it seems to me that you both need time out on this one to collect your thoughts and have time to listen to your own hearts ..... nothing, but nothing will work unless you both put something into it ...... is he doing that at the moment? Your partner simply doesn't know his own mind at the moment and that is where time and space will help ... perhaps .... but I really think it your only option. You know, absence does make the heart grow fonder and perhaps that will happen here .... don't throw things away just because he is currently undecided in his life ... give him time out. But in that time, also search your own heart for how you feel, if your happiness really lies with this man or otherwise. My view is that the grass is seldom greener elsewhere but when things start to tarnish and the sun simply doesn't shine anymore, that may be the time to move on ....... happiness is often just around the corner.

Answer 3

You are not making the situation worse. I'm going through the same situation. In my opinion if you love him so much then let him go. Wish him the best even if it's not with you. For the last 3 months my husband has been acting weird. He started sleeping in the sofa and giving me the cold shoulder for no reason. This morning when I was getting ready to go to work. I heard his cell phone beeping. I saw he had a text message I opened it and it's from another women. I feel horrible. But you know what? Life goes on. It wont be easy but I have faith in you that you will do just fine. Good Luck!

Answer 4

It sounds like he needs some space but also needs a friend to lean on. If it's been rough the last couple of years then you've seen it coming but it sounds like you care about him and are unsure yourself whether you want the relationship to continue. You have to think of yourself too. A relationship needs to be 100%/100% from each party. Do some soul searching to determine what you want out of the relationship. Remain supportive but not pushy. When you are both in a better frame of mind you'll know what you want. Until then be yourself and take care of your daughter. He'll always be her Dad, so he'll always be part of your life. Relationships are tough we need to work at them every moment of every day- life unfortunatley doesn't stop and give us a break because we have a bump in the road. Good luck to all of you.

Answer 5

sounds like some kind of midlife crisis - everyone has them but we don't leave our partners and children for them. As he has a child, and therefore a responsibility, he must buckle down and do what is right for your daughter even if this is not what he wants to do. Maybe he is having a career problem, financial, or he is envious of single men's lives. But whatever the cause, he has to recognise his responsibilities and put the welfare of his family above his individual wishes.
Good luck. Try marriage counselling (you don;t have to be wed), it may help at least to talk things through and identify the problem.

Answer 6

My ex husband did that to me, then a year later he left, only for me to find out that i was living in misery for 11 years while all the time he was dating a dumping, well i am well rid now, the kids hurt at first but are great now. I have a new life, new fella and extra kids. couldn't be more happy if i had made it all up.
What a life, get on with yours and don't look back hun, have a good en

Answer 7

give him the damn boot. after 7yrs if he is acting like he's not sure if he still wants a relationship w/u or if he wants to call it quits than u can bet ur panties that he's ready for someone new. if ur partner wants out and u shouldn't be sitting there tryna give him an ultimatum making it seem like ur a choice for him to pick through. give him the time and space he needs and u keep it moving, don't make his problems urs. it doesn't matter if his life is crumbling before his eyes, u wanna know why cause after 7 yrs ur supposed to be his rockl!!!!

Answer 8

Girl, why are you waiting on HIM to decide what to do with YOUR life?


I am sure he is a good guy and all but making you miserable is no way to live.

If he doesn't know what he wants to do and you are not happy, make your own decision for yourself and your child. you don't want your daughter growing up to think its okay to let a man string you along. Or if you had a son you don't want him to think its okay to treat a woman like that.

There is an old saying "Children rarely listen to thier elders, but they NEVER fail to imitate them." Your little girl is worth a lot more than imitating what's going on in your relationship right now.

Don't be afraid to do whats best for YOU and your child.

Answer 9

He needs some personal space and some counseling. Men don't know how to react when things fall to shambles and they can't control it. Right now you asking him for an answer will seem like a burden or constant reminder of something he cant cope with. It's not fair to you at all or to his daughter but he sounds like he is going through some kind of crisis mentally. See if he will get some help either through your church or through your health insurance.good luck

Answer 10

It may come down to you making the final decision. Give him a set amount of time because you need to know for your sanity and your daughter's well being what is happening between you and your significant other.

Seven years is a long time but if he can't provide the things you need from him you will need to fend for yourself and start your healing process.

Keep your chin up!