Is there a possibility that my husband would cheat on me?

Question

Been married for 3 yrs.caught him telling lies on me twice. And he's so touchy and flirty to females when drunk. He even hugged my sister tightly with no apparent reason. and can't remember his actions the next day. Am i just overreacting?

Answer 1

The best definition of an alcoholic is someone whose drinking affects other parts of his/her life. If he can't remember what he did the next day then he is absolutely a rock solid alcoholic. Not that this matters to him, alcoholics are liars, cheats and destructive both to themselves and anybody around them, and are great at denial and blaming everybody but themselves. Of course, I've known some alkies that are the nicest people, take care of themselves and their families. But thats the rare exception. Hubby is on the downward spiral to divorce and worse. Wonder who he will take with him. There are two types of people: those who strive to tell the truth always, and the rest of us. If your relationship is dependent on lies, and you are ok with that, then just pretend everything is wonderful (but get a HIV and STD blood test frequently). IF not, and you married someone who is not a habitual liar, then DO something about it. Get help! I personally see nothing sexual in hugging - depending where I'm putting my legs, groin and hands, of course. When you say you caught him in lies twice... That probably is the tip of the iceberg.
Ask him about it. If he doesn't admit his lies, (when things have cooled down), then he's probably just sorry that he got caught.
Most people can be expected to lie when they feel threatened. Liars lie to get what they want, even if its just to avoid an argument. I don't think you can change a liar to an honest man. But its well known that you can't change a drunk until he's sober. (and I don't mean for a week or a month). Nobody's perfect, and an occasional fib is part of the game of life, but if your heart is telling you something is wrong, you should do something about it, its far smarter than your brain in these things. Its not the lies but the trust that is so very important, don't you think?

Answer 2

Cheating is always a possibility. The fact that you caught him telling you lies on more than one occasion is not good either.

The best thing you can do is let him know that you are uncomfortable with his behavior when he is drinking. Tell him now and do not wait! Find a time when you can talk calmly, find a neutral place and do not wait until he's had a few drinks. He should respect your feelings and the two of you should be able to come to a solution that will make you and he feel comfortable.

I believe that a woman's intuition is the most powerful thing. If you feel something is not right. . . you are probably right. Now it's up to you to decide how you want to address it. This is your marriage and you no one can tell you what you are willing to accept. But you should talk to your husband. . . you may find that he is drinking for other reasons and the flirting is due to him loosing his inhibitions when he drinks in excess.

Answer 3

You aren't over reacting. Your gut feelings are typically accurate. Where he may not have yet, you might feel him being different because he is changing.

Every guy has it in him to cheat. So does every woman. It takes a couple that can openly and completely honest to be able to stay together and be faithful. Both people have to be able to do that.

There comes a point where people start finding other people attractive. It is totally normal. I have found when I just trust my partner and talk to her about it, then the attraction just fades away. We are animals after all. Attractions are instinct. But the sentient being in us, tells us it is wrong to cheat. So we have to make the decision to be a person, and not an animal. Unfortunately, I think the majority of people have to cheat once to actually learn from it and see the damage it really causes before they don't do it again.

Answer 4

Hello,
Nothing is impossible and everything possible. I suggest that you talk to your husband about these issues. Most times when people are drinking they'll do anything and everything. So it may just be that you have to suggest that your husband learn to control his drinking. If not sooner or later while he's drunk he is going to make that mistake of cheating!
When I said that nothing is impossible and everything possible that was a stight shot for people who go out to clubs, bars and what not drinking. It's just not safe to do and mistakes happen when your drunk. Anyone that tells you they can hold their own when drunk is simply telling a lie. If there were true then why are there so many drunk drivers on the highway that end of killing someone. If they could hold there on then there would never be parents losing their children to drunk drivers or families loosing loved ones due to those same drunks who say they can hold their own.
I deeply advise you to talk with your husband about this and let him know how this makes you feel and what he's doing isn't right. For him to not blame it on drinking because he can control that. Let him know that IF he makes that mistake when he drunk that he's been forwarned and accepting apologies for something because another is drunk isn't something to be just accepted at the drop of a dime. Let him know that he needs to be in control of his drinking before he ends up hurting you.
If he values his marriage and you then he'll comply it isn't like your asking him to do something horrible.. it's just learning to control his drinking and stop making a fool out of himself.

Best of luck to you...

Answer 5

Well, I'd like to tell you that no, he wouldn't, but the truth is, there is always that chance if you've caught him in lies. My good friend thought she had a great marriage. They were planning to try for another baby and everything. Then 2 months ago she found out her husband (who she'd caught in a couple of small lies) had been having a 2 year affair. So sorry, but yeah -- it can happen.

Answer 6

I agree with honestinjun. I have never known any man to cheat that is having a good strong relationship with his partner. If you use sex a weapon or a reward, well, then you'll reap what you sew. If he's behaving like that (flirting) then I would say there are already problems, and don't play the blame game or act the victim - look at your relationship as subjectively as possible. I finally moved to Asia after dealing with wacky, jealous, controlling, desperate, overweight, white women. I love it hear. The women are content to be women, they don't feel the need to compete with or control their men. And my sex life has never been better!! Good luck

Answer 7

No youre not overreacting. I heard before from a male than any male who will near 50 will find someone younger especially if the wife doesnt meet his demands. Or if this is his personality, he would likely cheat and he's testing the reaction of females if he can get away with it or not.

Answer 8

Sounds very familiar, I have been married for 23 yrs to a drunk flirt and I listened to him when he said it was just his personality, he is just a flirt, it goes nowhere, its harmless, I love you, I come home to you, WRONG.... he was cheating. I found out when one of them called his cell and he was not around and I looked at the caller ID and it was a chicks name, then I asked him, he said it was business. Well my radar was off the charts so I got his phone again and called her back and she answered by saying " I miss you come F*** me now", well I told her that my husband was not coming over and I will find out who she is and make sure she pays for this. Then I confronted my husband and he not only admitted to this one but several others.... I called them all and told them who I was and to leave him alone.... then I moved HIM out and so on and so on. SO.... my point is.... a drunk is an addictive personality and they are always on the prowl to see what they can accomplish. the flirt is the fuel for them they love the chase and it will end in an affair for them. believe me, i have done my research on addictive personalities, my husband is bi polar alcoholic sex addict. and trust me he was getting IT at home too, all the time so telling someone to do their wifely duties is not good advice. they will still troll for skanks.

Answer 9

Sweety, you deserve much greater effectual than that and so does your toddler. you could to boot get it finished before your new child has thoughts and gets harm worse. This guy is a pig and a fool and does not deserve you, till you in basic terms savor being a doormat. Their are distinctive adult men obtainable who could extremely like the prospect to handle you actual and your new child additionally. Be good and do the main concepts-blowing factor for you and your new child. it gets greater effectual quickly, yet you ought to be good and do what you be attentive to is good.

Answer 10

either yes or no.yes,if you're too demanding or your attitude is unacceptable,know what i mean.wife are not only hysterical but historical.and no,if you are considerate and understanding wife.if you love your husband trust him.i think your hubby has a drinking problem.be honest tell him what you feel everytime he acted that way.honesty is the best policy.be transparent to him.God bless!