I am gay and happy of it. How do i flirt with a guy that seems too shy to admit he is gay too?

Question

i want no judging of my sexuality, and don't condemn me for being gay.

well he is kinda trendy and groomy...and my gay radar is blinking whenever i saw him...it's a gay instinct you can help it than to know it naturally....well among the other guy who knew the gayness of me...he is the one who seems so comfortable about it. he's not avoiding me and i can see that everytime i see him around the college...he'll come to me and say at least a simple 'hi!'. i've tried to avoid him before but i realized that everytime he saw me he'll smile a mile away and wave to me. i've a friend telling me he once asked him a lot of question about me...the only problem is...how do i make him admit it to me? do i need to flirt him out to finally have him...

Answer 1

What makes you so sure that he's gay?
If he says that he is not, then he's probably not.

Just because someone is friendly towards you does not mean they are gay. I would be careful about flirting with him too.
You might get your A$S kicked, no offense.

Answer 2

First off, despite your gayday, there is a possibility that he is just a nice guy who happens to like you as a friend but not as a potential bf or partner. So, relax a little and take things easy.

As for how to proceed to ascertain the bf thing, there is no easy way unless you have the guts to just come right out and ask him. And unless he is both gay and attracted to you, that may not turn out too well. Though if he knows you are gay and likes you anyway, he probably won't actually freak out if you take a direct conversational approach.

So, work up the nerve to ask him to join you for a coffee or a burger somewhere you two can sit and chat a while. Talk a bit about the weather, classes, the social scene at the college and other stuff to just try to get a flow going. Then come right out and ask him if he knows you are gay. Undoubtedly he does but if he doesn't, he will. Then ask him if he is cool with having a gay friend to talk to, say hi to, etc. And if he is fine to that point, then ask him if he would be interested in dating you or if he would prefer to keep it to casual get togethers for coffee for now.

If he is gay and likes you and is ready for some dating, then so be it. But unless all three factors are right, he will probably prefer just keeping it loose and casual for now. After all, he may be gay and still not open about it or he may be straight and just not one who cares a darn about others being gay.

So, no matter what comes of it, I suspect you will at least get a little closer as friends unless he is totally clueless about you being gay and the whole thing freaks him out really badly. But in this day and age not many college guys are that clued out.

Answer 3

I can relate to you and what your saying I have that feeling about a guy I see all the time at the gym. I want to talk to him but think it isn't the right time yet. It's been a year and a half but still I would rather have a crush on him than have a conversation about what I feel. If I would be stuck in a room that the power went off on I would hope he accidentally gets closer.

If that doesn't happen perhaps we may bump into each other somewhere else that we can talk at someday.

Be patient things work out for a reason

Answer 4

First, congratulations for being happy with who you are. Second, everyone has to decide on their own when to come out. Why not first become his friend? Go for lunch, or a movie. Make him feel comfortable and let him know that you're interested in pursing a long lasting friendship. See how that goes and continue to make the next step. Patience is what you appear to need for this man.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Well I would say dont flirt with the person right a way just try to say hello and introduce your self like what anyone else would do have a little conversation until you get some how acquainted and every body i do think handle friendship that way no matter who they are.

Answer 6

As I tippy toe without tromping on this question,why is it that gays think just because a guy shows some kind of less than masculine behavior they automatically think that person likes to pack it up the ol Hershey Highway?

Why don't you ask him if he is gay, if he is he'll probably drop to his knees for you no matter where you are and if not, back to boy town.

Answer 7

First of all, you can flirt with anyone, but how would you come to the conclusion that he is too shy to admit he is gay? I think you need to find some "CONCRETE" information to the fact that he is gay and then take it from there. For someone who doesn't want anyone judging their sexuality, you seem very judgemental yourself.

Answer 8

Well I would say just be yourself. If he likes you over time you will know about it. The problem is he may not be gay. Dont try to persuade him. Just enjoy spending time with him and if he is, then I am sure that you will know about it quick enough. Friendship is a lot stronger basis for a relationship than just sex.

Good luck and happy new year.

Answer 9

make eye contact and smile, he returns the smile then when you are talking to him make a point to touch his arm, hand or shoulder. he he does not pull away then ask him out to lunch so that you can talk more. then find a way to slip the subject of gay into the conversation and see how he responds.

it is a slow process but can be worth it, the shy ones can be very nice ;)

Answer 10

Flirt like you would normally, but also consider that some people may not be as comfortable being out as you are. If he is shy he may want a softer glove in flirting with him. Like the bull and son.
"A son and his father bull were on a hill and the son said to his father, "hey dad, lets run on down the hill and have sex with one of those cows. The father says, "no, lets walk down, there, and have sex with all of them."
Be patient, be gentle, and go grab him.
B